Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome!
Although it took me a while to post something, I think the much greater challenge for me is in sticking with it, especially to 'keep it real' and continue sharing what is really happening without minimizing or denying what I'm feeling.
I can't promise anything, but I'll give it a shot. It is hard to put into a few words what I feel right now and what I've been through to get here...
I guess what comes to mind first is how many things I've tried in the last 15 years (since a suicide attempt in my early twenties) and not wanting what I am doing now (i.e. with MS and CSA recovery) to result in the same feelings of loss, disappointment and confusion.
I miss the communities I've been so invloved in previously, and I also fully recognize they are not right for me now...and I need something!