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#276282 - 02/20/09 10:40 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: siranthonysghost]
riveerboy Offline


Registered: 02/04/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Indiana
I have recently gone through some personal things. Bisexuality was a part of it. I feel that I was basically born hetro, but, family and csa had it's energies interjected early. There is no doubt about it.

I came out when I was in my 20s. It was much easier to pursue a gay life style than try to get into the opposite sex, where I had negligible experience. To try to pursue bisexuality was too difficult a thing for me at that time. Just keep to one sex and the relationships have been good.

We survive in this life as best we can at times. I have pursued a healing, more than the opposite sex. Who knows what is in the future.

Good Luck.


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#276508 - 02/21/09 09:54 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: riveerboy]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
siranthonysghost,

Glad you are here on MS. Sometimes I think that some of the confusion people feel about their sexuality is tied to their CSA. Working on recovery can alleviate some of that confusion. I know of others who have had that experience where they found that they were attracted to one sex and their attraction to the other was more about their sexual confusion over the abuse suffered at the hands of the other sex.

Keep talking, keep working on recovery.

Peace and love...

Michael


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#276810 - 02/23/09 07:49 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: siranthonysghost]
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
I would like to say that I find more in depth, thoughtful material posted in this forum than in the others. It may be because of people here being more aware of their feelings and are able to express them in a better sense. Anyway, with that said, back to the subject.
I don't classify myself as straight, bi or gay; I'm just me and fit in the middle with everyone else. I'm have had a change in view of others and myself after my T explained her opinion of labels and orientation. She explained to me that we are all on a continuum and are all virtually in the middle. Being gay or straight maybe considered opposites and seen in black and white for some but in reality there really isn't a fine line or wide line to cross to be on one side or the other. There is lots of grey in between which is where the majority of people are. My own opinion is that you be what you feel you are and accept it. Changing it is like working against the grain even if the label makers of society don't like it. I still think that no matter how "straight" one may claim that they are, they most likely have had an attraction to same sex at some point in their life.
For myself, I prefer women but won't lie that I have been attracted to other men. I feel that it is something that is built into us some how. Look at animals for instance and how they are hardwired. Humans aren't too far off in our behavior. I'm not calling all people animals even though sometimes we act like them. To sum it up, labels suck and nobody needs them. Hope some of this made sense, now I'm feeling confused, again.confused


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#276924 - 02/24/09 11:45 AM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: nevragan]
MichaeldR Offline


Registered: 12/02/08
Posts: 36
Loc: South Carolina
Nevragan wrote: I'm just me and fit in the middle with everyone else.

Well, I have never been in the middle. On the Kinsey scale I'm a 6, entirely attracted and entirely experienced only with those of the same gender.

If I were bisexual, I would probably just be single for long enough to get my head together, but be open, kind, and generous to those around me. If and when someone showed interest, if I was attracted to them as well, I would pursue a more intimate relationship with that person. "Love the one you're with".

Best regards,

_________________________
Mike

My mantras:

Easy Does I - - - - - - Lą oł il y a la vie il y a l'espoir.
One Day At A Time - - - Lą oł il y a l'espoir: la vie.
First Things First- - - Where there's life there's hope.
LIVE and Let Live - - - Where there is hope: life.

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#277308 - 02/26/09 01:27 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: nonchalant]
overcomer4life Offline


Registered: 02/25/09
Posts: 198
Originally Posted By: nonchalant
I feel like a complete misfit who isn't straight enough to be straight but isn't gay enough to be gay.



MAN....BROTHER.....why do we share the exact same life story!? WOW!


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#277353 - 02/26/09 08:05 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: overcomer4life]
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
This quote makes the most sense to me. It seems to nail the subject on the head. confused


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#277411 - 02/27/09 11:00 AM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: nevragan]
overcomer4life Offline


Registered: 02/25/09
Posts: 198
dude...we have walked in each other's shoes! wow!!!!!!!


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#278121 - 03/03/09 07:56 PM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: siranthonysghost]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 838
Loc: Kc,Mo
all i can say is to be honest with your girlfriend. i am married to my wife and she knows every single thing about me. even my attraction to males. but she supports me and i would not cheat on her with male/or female . the thing is i have been honest from the get go. that way it does not come back to bite you in the ass.
after i told her about the abuse as a kid,i told her about my attraction to other males . she has always supported me from than on. because what is the point in being in a relationship if you can not be yourself or if you can not be honest with each other. good luck man and try not to beat yourself up. bless you man

_________________________
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#280142 - 03/20/09 01:37 AM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: nonchalant]
ramp2 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 1
Loc: Boston
I'm not sure this helps your situation nonchalant, but I've found that bisexual women, if you can find them, can be incredibly healing. They understand the predicament and together you can fully accept your desires.

For about a year now I've been spending time, as friends and lovers, with a wonderfully bisexual, open woman who just gets it, and through our conversations and intimacy I've been able to not only accept, but embrace and find joy in both sides. I'm not fully together, but am on the right path.


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#280145 - 03/20/09 06:08 AM Re: Question for Bisexuals: how do you deal with it? [Re: ramp2]
myboyhoodfears Offline


Registered: 03/13/09
Posts: 457
.



Edited by myboyhoodfears (08/31/09 03:59 AM)
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