I hope you guys don't mind me butting in here, but I wanted to validate something ChicagoSurvivor said:
Also, think about it this way...notice how many women out there confess to being attracted to other women? Society does not scorn them, so they can say it.
This is 100% true. I am not a lesbian, but I appreciate the beauty of another woman and will easily say so. I've even found myself sexually attracted to another woman a time or two, although never acted on it. I'm human and my body parts don't necessarily make a distinction between male and female if I find them attractive.
I think it's the part that Michael laid out so beautifully that makes one hetero or homo for the long term. Sex and physical attraction is a very important part of a relationship, but it isn't what makes the relationship. So many people, abuse survivors or no, make the mistake of thinking that it is, but throw abuse into the mix and sex takes center stage, being given an importance it doesn't deserve. I would put it in the top 5 things that make a relationship work, with its import floating within that top 5 depending on your age and goals at any given moment in time, but never should it be #1 over the long haul. That would doom a person to constantly looking for a "fix."
My young niece, age 15 came out last summer. I'm so proud of how she is handling herself and her bitch of a mother. Her father (my brother) my sister and I are supporting her as best we can because we love her. One of the conversations that I've had with her is about sex and it's a tough one. She's 15 with all the hormonal upheaval that goes with it. It's a tough tight rope to walk because I'm trying to make her understand that her same sex attraction isn't why I'm telling her she shouldn't have sex, it's the fact that she's 15 and emotionally unprepared for it. Try telling a healthy 15 year old that sex isn't important! Ha! She will do what every healthy teen does, but hopefully, she'll remember a little bit of our conversation and not place so much importance on it in the future.
nevragan, I guess what I'm saying after this long post is that I agree with what everyone else has said. Finding another person attractive or being sexually stimulated by them means nothing all by itself except that your body is functioning exactly the way it was designed to.