Newest Members
susanhepp, Breathe, georgetwo, frozen45, lilac
12291 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
closure (24), esp22 (40)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 23 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12291 Members
73 Forums
63241 Topics
442222 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#2677 - 04/03/03 12:51 AM Honoring our brothers????
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
I have been givings this alot of though and would like your guys imput. How could we honor or lost brothers? I know that in the last couple of months we have lost to great men Gunnar aka seaotter and now Woz. How can we honor them here? I would like to have a forum with like a picture of a wall with children playing in the background of it and have their names in front of it. What do you guys think would be a way to honor them? I know for me that having some kind of memorial on this board would help me a great deal and always remind me to never stop healing. So dear brothers that is the question at hand how do we honor them?


Top
#2678 - 04/03/03 02:25 AM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Nathan
Thanks for this suggestion, I know it will be welcomed by us all.

Maybe something on the Forum Home Page with a link to selected posts and / or a short tribute ??

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#2679 - 04/03/03 04:01 AM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Jess Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 107
Loc: California
Thank you, Nathan. You have made an important point that I hope does not go unnoticed.

Quote:
I know for me that having some kind of memorial on this board would help me a great deal and always remind me to never stop healing.
I hope, for the sake of all of us here, that we can develop a memorial like the one you have suggested. Hopefully, it will serve as a reminder that healing isn't static. It is an ongoing process. Some days one feels that he is making stellar progress by leaps and bounds. Other days it feels like one is standing still, or worse, moving backward. No matter! We still heal as the days go on. We must not give up, even when moving forward seems to us a momumental struggle. We must never stop exerting our own efforts to obtain healing.

For myself, I cannot believe that healing would be found in ending my own life here on Earth. Rather, it would seem to be like taking the ultimate wrong step, where tomorrows cease to exist. It would be the last mistake I might make from which there could be no turning back. I am not the kind of man who can face suffering like a true matyr. I don't have that kind of courage. However, I think that I would rather face my loneliest darkest day, and yet live with hope for a brighter one tomorrow, then to end all possibility of ever seeing another day, again. No one knows what tomorrow holds. Lives can change, overnight, for the better. Fortunes can be won in just a day, and there is nothing more precious on Earth than life!

Brothers, I am extremely upset about Woz. I am so distraught right now over the news of his dying. Picturing the ashes of his remains being spread on this Friday disturbs me even more. I will be with some of our MaleSurvivor Brothers on Friday for my first MS retreat. I have looked forward to this day for many weeks. Now, I will be in mourning for another person whose life was taken, ultimately, as a result of male sexual victimization. The knowledge that his ashes will be spread along with ashes from a list of lies does not offer me very much consolation.

I am sorry. I just had to vent my thoughts and emotions. If I you or anyone is offended by these words of mine, I apologize, and humbly beg your forgiveness.

Oh, Brethren, please, please take care of yourselves. For your own sakes . . . For my sake . . . And for the sake of the rest of us . . . those who love you.

Sincerely, Jess.


Top
#2680 - 04/03/03 08:44 PM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Well put Jess.

Men, some type of "Wall of Remembrance" could serve not only to keep alive the memories of those who have left us & left this world, it could also serve to help keep some of us alive, surviving and even thriving. A reminder to keep on going, keep on living.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#2681 - 04/04/03 10:26 AM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Ron_dup1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 87
Loc: Arkansas
Jess
Thank you for your words and your courage! I have been struggling with this since I read some of the posts in honor of Woz. I did not know him and I am saddened by his death but saddened more by his choice to end his life. Some of the posts implied that he would/could/or did find the peace in death that he could not find in life. That thought scares me that it might lead others to choose suicide as a way to find that peace that seems to elude us so often in this life. I love the idea of a memorial as long as it does not celebrate in anyway the idea of ending one's life! I do want to remember all my friends who have committed suicide but I want to remember their lives in a way that makes me want to fight harder to live, not in a way that says they now have what I so desperately want. I want to live! I want to live a life that makes a difference! I want to heal and learn to love and trust and succeed! I pray that any memorial will be something that leads others to want the same things in life.
I in NO WAY mean to put others down or dishonor the memory of Woz or anyone else. I am simply concerned about some of our brothers who may be thinking of ending their lives as an option to find peace and stop the pain.
Peace to all of you,
Ron
--I look forward to your responses to this, and hope that no one is hurt or offended by my thoughts on the matter.


Top
#2682 - 04/04/03 01:15 PM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Jesse: That was truly great expresing your feelings like you did. It was woz's descision to make and he took that step.

That is all the more reason for us to heal. While we was here he gave us strength, comfort and humour and shared much of himsself with us.

If we all took his road there would be nobody to help us through the bad times and to revel with in the good times. We owe it to our brothers yet to find us to be here for them and to help show them the way. It is unfortunate that there is a never ending flow of survivors but together I believe that we can create a storm of such magnitude that the general public can no longer ignore.

Speaking for myself and how I feel. I truly believe that if we do not contine to healing that our perps will have really and truly won I I cannot let that happen.
If I have offended anyone with this I apologize. It is just the thoughts of a 62 year old man who has survived all of it and cannot see anything but healing on the horizon.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

Top
#2683 - 04/04/03 06:32 PM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Ron, I very much appreciate & consider very appropriate your sensitive & balanced remarks.

Quote:
I love the idea of a memorial as long as it does not celebrate in anyway the idea of ending one's life! I do want to remember all my friends who have committed suicide but I want to remember their lives in a way that makes me want to fight harder to live, not in a way that says they now have what I so desperately want. I want to live! I want to live a life that makes a difference! I want to heal and learn to love and trust and succeed! I pray that any memorial will be something that leads others to want the same things in life.
Not much can be added to that Ron.

Except for me to say:

Spoken like a true survivor!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#2684 - 04/05/03 04:14 AM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Les_Angry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 195
I agree also Ron. After reading about Gunnar and Warren, the suicide string and reflecting on my own experiences,I can now see why we are refered to as survivors.

Peace
MO Healing


Top
#2685 - 04/05/03 09:40 AM Re: Honoring our brothers????
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Noun: memorial
1. A recognition of meritorious service
2. A written statement of facts submitted in
conjunction with a petition to a an authority
3. A structure erected to commemorate persons or events

Verb: commemorate
1. Mark by some ceremony or observation
2. Call to remembrance; keep alive the memory of someone or something, as in a ceremony
3. Be a memorial to a person or an event

Adjective: meritorious
1. Deserving reward or praise
---------------------------------------------------
A non standard definition of suicide: the ultimate form of self-expression.

A memorial to lives lost, to shattered childhoods... an eternal flame of hope for all of us.


Top
#2686 - 04/06/03 10:43 PM Re: Honoring our brothers????
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
How does one go about making a new forum here? I would really like to do some kind of forum to honor their lives but don't know how to go about it. So does this idea have to be put to a vote or something else?


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.