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#268374 - 12/22/08 11:42 PM I was heard !!
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1970
I met one-on-one with the therapist who leads a weekly therapy group I am a part of. She took over the group therapist role from the previous leader who is a guy I met individually with for the past couple/few years and who helped my out a lot to get things rolling.

Anyway, I went in there to give her a little more detail on my story. I want to use the group more effectively. I told her about some real tough issues, and she understood. I explained my situation and what it was like growing up. Basically I fit so much into 50 minutes, and I did it in an genuine and honest way. The best thing is is that she 'got it'. She truly understood what it was all like for me, and I could tell she really did get it, no lip service.

There is a lot more work that needs to be done, and I know being heard and understood doesn't make all the pain and everything else just go away. But it was nice to have happen. Oh well, I just wanted to share that. Hopefully I can continue with this into the next year.

Eric


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#268378 - 12/23/08 12:05 AM Re: I was heard !! [Re: ericc]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Hi Eric,

That is such wonderful news.

To be heard and understood really makes a difference.

I think being honest with yourself and her is a good start.

Keep up the good work smile

Take Care, jim

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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#268408 - 12/23/08 07:15 AM Re: I was heard !! [Re: ericc]
mapleleafsn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 131
Loc: Eastern Canada
Hi Eric

I share your happiness. It is a great and wonderful feeling of acceptance when we can connect with another person in such a way. My guess is that you told her straight from the heart, no denials, no cover ups, no embelisments, no self-pity. She heard your truth and it rang bells in her heart that you were being honest and sincere. People can pick up on things like that. I know for myself that if I try to deny, elude, or hide any thing people can recongnize that.

It is good to hear such things. They may not be the tremendous ground breaking, heart stopping events of our recovery. These are the important little things that keep us going on a daily basis. I am very happy for you.

Steve

_________________________
When the pain of remaining the same finally outweighs the pain of change---things will begin.... life is meant to be enjoyed not endured.

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#268412 - 12/23/08 07:53 AM Re: I was heard !! [Re: mapleleafsn]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2015
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Eric.

congrats. It not only sounds like being heard was a great experience in iteself, but that your building on from there, ---- and we all know the bible story about the wise man and his house built on the rock.

that to my mind is an even better thing than the experience of just being heard in itself, ---- great though that sounds.

Please keep us posted.


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#268497 - 12/23/08 09:16 PM Re: I was heard !! [Re: dark empathy]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1970
It did feel good, and I was being very genuine and authentic (she is big on the idea that when we are being authentic we are heard or true to ourselves, or something like that). It was scattered at first as I jumped back and forth, but she kept reminding me to take deep breaths and it was okay. Actually I needed to jump back and forth to fit the pieces together. My story doesn't really fit linearly if I try and convey as much as I did, but she said she fully got all I was saying. It was concise, honest, and very detailed with time-frame references; I don't know if I have ever been able to articulate my story in such a way before to really express the pain and helplessness of my situation. She understood, and she is good in that I think she understands what goes on with people. She understands me so much more now, and that can only be helpful. She expressed concern and understanding about the emotional space I had to deal with growing up, she was able to "get" why I feel the way I do about so many things. I was heard, and I was able to tell my story. She said that when we are able to tell our stories it can be traumatic; but also it can allow us to sort of let them go and not have to take such a degree of ownership of them. As expected the buzz wore off today and life's frustrations were knocking at my door again. But that is okay, because I am going to keep on working on healing and getting better. I am going to be able to use the group more effectively. I will meet with her individually again. I know I can't turn back the clock and change things (oh how I have spent countless hours and days in sorrow wishing I could turn back that darned clock), but I can try and deal with things where I am at right now. I don't know what other choice I have. Thanks everyone.

Eric


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#268519 - 12/24/08 12:47 AM Re: I was heard !! [Re: ericc]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Once that can of worms is opened up, you can't put the top back on. That is how I saw it for me.

Happy that you are going to deal with whatever comes your way. You have a good healthy start.

Take Care, Jim

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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