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#268306 - 12/22/08 01:36 PM not taking care of myself but feeling good ???
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Hey Brothers and sisters;

My wife has been asking if something is up for the past couple of weeks... And I have been saying no, I feel pretty good. Today it came up as we were driving together and she mentioned that she is concerned because I am not shaving and not washing my hair. This hit me square between the eyes ! she is right I have been letting myself go over the past month. I do not know what is up and still feel good, I am now questioning what is up... I had the self hate of late Nov and 4 hours of meditation on the way back home that were awesome... But, I have not been taking care of myself, I know that I have put on 10 lbs in the past couple of months as well.

I am not sure what I am looking for from my brothers and sisters on this. Ideas and experiences to prompt me along on this one... Now, I do feel conflicted/unsettled.

Thanks in advance, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#268358 - 12/22/08 10:38 PM Re: not taking care of myself but feeling good ??? [Re: wes-b]
G5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 203
Loc: New Jersey
hmmm. Tough to say on this one. I do a number of things to myself, but at this point in my recovery I'm usually aware of it. In the past I did have trouble with self grooming, because I would hide during the weekends and was afraid to look in the mirror.

This I guess happens if you've been distracted or consumed with some other issues. It happens with me still.....now that I think about it, I often forget (or don't care) about how my hair looks. Usually cover it with a hat or just don't really think myself worthy of brushing it....

not sure this helps...

Chris

_________________________
WoR Kirkridge '08
WoR Alta Advanced '09
International Conference '10, '12
Oprah 200
PA Support Group
WoR Alta Advanced '12
"Silence Buster"

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#268393 - 12/23/08 03:14 AM Re: not taking care of myself but feeling good ??? [Re: G5]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Wes-b,

My wife can usually knows if I am in a bad place before i do.
Because like your talking about I lost interested in taking care of myself and just let things go. I won't even realize until she points it out to me. But it is usually when I am extremely stress or unhappy with things. I cannot or will not address what is going on in my life. It is when I am into my helpless, hopeless,and submissive mode. There are times when I am uncapable of standing up for my own needs or wants. So I just give up. Beginning to see this aspect of my abuse alot lately but still not sure to how address or change it. It seems to be such an ingrained part of my psyhe. But I will find the answer soon.

Take care brother,

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#268439 - 12/23/08 12:34 PM Re: not taking care of myself but feeling good ??? [Re: michael banks]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Brother Michael;

Thank you for this, it feels really good... I have spoken more with my wife and a brother in program and believe I am heading the right way. My heart tells me to stay in the now and more will be revealed through meditation, step 11 work, as I keep working.

Peace, Love and Joy to you my brother.

Wes

Chris, Thanks for your voice of support. Yours felt like a hug from a caring brother.

Love, your Brother Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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