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#268264 - 12/21/08 11:52 PM the broken hearted in christ...
1love4christ Offline


Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 46
Loc: ca, usa
hey, i was able to learn male survivors accept and believe jesus christ as their savior. I wanted to ask how you deal with the old age question of: "where were you god when I was being sexually abused and how did you intervene?" this is something i battle with time to time as a victim. personally, i know our trust is broken but i think that there should be a legitimate answer to god's place and purpose during the times we are deeply being assaulted.

my best answer to this question has been jesus christ. the intercedding that we deeply wanted has occurred already and that we must wait until jesus christ to come back to finalize the work of god. therefore, i am hopeful to know that pain is being sacrificed for souls because it is the only reason why jesus is waiting to come back, when everyone has heard the gospel. this gives me hope...i would like to hear how you deal with this and share anything that helps you that can help me.

i want to add however, that as of recently, i've learned to cry and be angry at god and accept that he still loves me. this too has helped me realize that he is a loving god who did not neglect me.

thanks
_________________________
nestor

_________________________
nestor

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#268288 - 12/22/08 10:32 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: 1love4christ]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Greetings, 1Love-4-christ. Hey, well maybe-sort, of accepting Christ. This topic has been haunting me off and on. I was/am in a quandry on my feelings toward HIM. I posted a "letter to God and His Mother (I'm a Catholic) retired. Like in military retired. However like in military being retired, one can be recalled to active duty, and I suppose that as my feelings now stand I just might unretire and come back to active duty in my God and my religion. Now if you care to see just what my letter was about feel free, it's in spirituality. Plus my latest post, in the same site, I found Christmas. I now realise that I cannot do this with out HIM. Wishing you a blessed Christmas day in healing, my Friend/Brother.
Pete (Irishmoose)



Edited by petercorbett (12/22/08 11:06 PM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#268311 - 12/22/08 03:37 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: petercorbett]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca

--------------------trigger warning----------------------------
-------some people maybe offended by my belief and views--------




Nestor,

As I see it god gave all men free will to do as one chooses. So each man will make those decisions based on his spiritual condition. Those who are truely close to god will usually make those decisions which are more Christ like. They usually will be in the best for the welbeing of all people.

But those who are loss or those who seek after evil will only seek out those things that fulfill their base desires.
Some people find pleasure in hurting and satisfying their sexual needs with children.Which was our misfortune to cross paths with such an individual.
It was this persons'decision to victimize us. So he is responsible for his choices(sins).

The way I believe that all god did was to allow this person the same free choice that he gave to all mankind. So can we be blamed for what another man chooses to do. So why should god be blamed for what any man chooses to do. Did he not make that choice on his own.

I also believe that god uses all things that happen in our lives to prepare us to do those things which god intends for that person to do in his life to fulfill gods' will for him.

That is my opinion on this topic.

Mike


_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#268313 - 12/22/08 03:54 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: michael banks]
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Nestor,

That is a very tough question. One that I still have trouble with from time to time. However, the only answer I can come up with is that God was there enduring the abuse with me.

Check out my post of 3 years ago for my take on where God was while I was being abused. I Found Christmas

You hang in there and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Love ya
Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#270075 - 01/06/09 10:08 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: Derdlecar]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
It was only 3 months ago my mother finally disclosed to me at 58 that when I was 2 I was minded by a pedophile and his wife. memories came flooding back. now I had an explanation for my disconectedness and regularly wanting to be alone in my confusion and unresolved pain.

I have been a Christian since the age of 17 and since 21 believed resolutely that Jesus IS the answer.

My first comfort was recalling that in my childhood my aunt showed me the love of God. and the power of the hymn "Jesus loves me"
powerful because His love is my healing

I have seen recently that Jesus suffered to take my pain.
my greatest struggle now is those around me, including my parents and a Christian band who played at an event where I gave my testomony for the first time - who want me to be silent.

I am fortunate to have Christian friends who are survivors in my large Church.

can anyone help me understand those who want me to "just forget it and move on"

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#270090 - 01/06/09 11:44 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Hi Nathan,

Thank God for you! Only those men who suffered can be a true light of help and healing to others, like JC. You will be used, I feel it.

As for those you want you to be silent. Perhaps not every venue will be the right place for your story but some certainly will be. You will know when the right time has comes.

God speaks to us through various ways, three of them are His word, the Holy Spirit, and people. The most important part of communication is listening. Listen to your friends and consider what they are saying, then go to God in prayer, then stand still and listen for his reply. The answer will come.

Forgiving is not possible unless we have experienced forgiveness ourselves, because we can not give what we have not received. We have experienced God's forgiveness so we can forgive. Forgetting is another issue and some confuse things here because of a common phrased that is misused, “forgive and forget.” This is meant to say that we forgive (which means we no longer seek compensation for a particular act) and we forget the need for compensation. God does not want us to go around in life not learning from our experiences. We grow in wisdom and knowledge.

Our experiences are ours forever. Some things affect us for years and we respond in certain ways because of them. Sometimes we need help to learn how to respond in a way that is no longer damaging or detrimental to our life and relationships. This takes time. You can not just "just forget it and move on”; you’ve been damaged and forever changed. Recovery takes time and in most cases is a lifelong process. Because our friends have not experienced the damage that comes from SA most will not truely understand because they lack the maturity or expereince. The finest part of recovery is when you are able to turn around and use your experience to help other to continue living as normally as possible. You will be used for that purpose.

IHN
Juni




Edited by Juni (01/09/09 12:25 PM)
Edit Reason: spelling
_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

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#270092 - 01/06/09 11:49 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: Juni]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
thanks Juni

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#270105 - 01/06/09 01:19 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 236
Loc: Manhattan
I may not be a religious man but I do believe in a Higher Power. I also believe everything happens for a reason. One illusion I partake in is that I endured my CSA so that I can better help other Survivors. Granted this is nothing but delusional rantings from an attention starved narcissist, forever looking for validation and approval; I'd like to think myself as someone who can contribute greatly to ease the suffering of Survivors. Again, recall my disclaimer. I've had some amazing insights, epiphanies, and breakthroughs that I couldn't have concocted on my own. Although I'm wondering if I can still have this delusional grandeur if my abuse was as bad or worse than the worst here. One delusional question I ask myself is 'What if God is prepping me for something greater, a noble purpose?' But then again, I'm so grateful (although regret) that there others out there who know and understand my pain. So in that sense, I'm grateful I'm not alone. Sorry for rambling. What I'm trying to say is that everything happens for a reason - scientists and clergy agree to this phenomena. What I'm hoping is that one day you'll all find what this reason is.

_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#270179 - 01/06/09 11:46 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: GentleSoul]
expom Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 123
Loc: Australia
Hi Nestor,
I, too, have struggled long and hard with this one. In April 08 I attended a 'Victim No Longer' weekend workshop here in Australia with Mike Lew and met other honorable men struggling to come to terms with our childhood experiences. The following weekend I was with a dozen guys from the church I attend. Our focus passage was one of my favourites - Psalm 139. I was hit between the eyes with verse 16 saying that all my days were recorded before they took place. "How could God allow what happened to me at the same time as loving me and knowing that I would come to know Him?". I refused to talk to God about anything else until He settled it in my mind. As with other replies, I agree that God is not to blame for what happened to me but I can reconcile that He was there with me - afterall I have survived when many didn't. I know that things could have a whole lot worse - for that I genuinely thank God. I also, now, have a route out of my pain and am already in a position to help shed some light onto the path of others so they can see their next step. Don't get me wrong, I still feel that my future has been damaged because of what I endured. Just like an amputation, I cannot retrieve what has been stolen - but I know and trust the only being that can. Without that I believe my future would be severely blighted. When my today gets too tough I find myself quoting "Ah Lord God, you who made the heavens, nothing, no absolutely nothing, nothing is impossible for You.

_________________________
I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.

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#270590 - 01/09/09 09:08 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: expom]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
A question to guys who love God and trust Him
I am a Christian I understand the power of prayer etc

I was in a recovery group and had this wall of pain in my head I asked the facilitator

God had shown him it was a wall of pain and shame
I have let Jesus renew the outside of the wall
but the other side is the darkness and mess of and from the abuse

I can pull the wall down

but how do I get cleansed from the darkness, the memories of the abuse, the habitual masturbating, gluttony, smoking in seceat,
the fantacies when masturbating - male (yes - I see that as shameful sin and please I don't want anyone contradicting my view of my understanding of myself as fantacising but straight) and female.

please


a week ago I talked to a well meaning telephone councellor
mentioned I had a ss fantacy and he immediatly said I was bi
and I could live two lives

it seemed attractive but each intruded into the other
its hopeless

man - I was just fantacising
how dare he condemn me to be bi !!

that sure is the devil's trap

been down that track before - those who encourage ss thoughts
they are sort of abusers except as an adult I should have ended the conversation
these particular telephone councellors suggest ringing them back stating their shift breaking their boundaries
promoting dependance etc

I'd like to do more work applying Gal 6 and Rom 6 - 8

does anyone know any Bible passage about recovering from abuse?

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#270709 - 01/10/09 05:59 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: 1love4christ]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6857
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: 1love4christ
I wanted to ask how you deal with the old age question of: "where were you god when I was being sexually abused and how did you intervene?" this is something i battle with time to time as a victim.

i would like to hear how you deal with this and share anything that helps you that can help me.


nestor,

I have wanted for some time to offer some of my thoughts on this, since I have also struggled with it.

It is a pretty big area and one could write a book about it. In fact there are books about it. I haven't found a good one yet however. That is, the books are not written by and for survivors.

Some of the thoughts that helped me are given below:

Jesus also suffered. He suffered more than I did (or you did).

"The abuses of those who abused you fell upon me" - This is about Jesus.
Psalm 69:9 and Rom 15:3 (Berkely Translation)

Jesus took our pain and suffering upon himself.

Just as we wonder, 'Where were you God? . . . when I got abused? '

Jesus had the same feeling on the cross. Jesus experienced the utmost cruelty and torture on the cross. He didn't deserve it. He asked why God (the Father) had abandoned him.

Matt 27:46
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
NIV (New International Version)

This is also in Psalm 22:1
God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
NIV

It also declares his nakedness:
Ps 22:18 (NIV)
18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

Jesus was beaten very badly before the crucifixion.
Matt 27:26
"Then he (Pilate) released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. NIV

Jesus declared that John the Baptist was a very great man. Yet even though Jesus was not too far away in miles, John was captured and later beheaded by an evil perp named Herod. This shows that evil happens and that Jesus knows and cares.

Matt 11:11 (NIV)

11 I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist;


Matt 14:10-12 (NIV)
. . .and had John beheaded in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother. John's disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus.

Matt 14:13 (NIV)
When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.

In other words, Jesus cared deeply. But Jesus did not stop it. It wasn't an accident. God wasn't blind.

So what does this mean for us? Here was a great man, John, who was near in time and place to Jesus. Yet this did not stop the hurt to John. But Jesus cared.

Another biblical account that has helped me is that of the slaughter of the babies (infant boys) in Bethlehem. Here we had innocent young boys who were killed mercilessly and brutally. Herod the perp (the uncle of the Herod who killed John the baptist) ordered them killed to defend his lineage on the throne.

Matt 2:16 (NIV)
When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under. . This caused great suffering by the mothers.

Why does this speak to us who are survivors today? Because here were a bunch of innocent (young) boys who are hurt (killed) by an evil perp. There may have been a hundred baby boys. Did God know? Yes. Did God care? Yes. Did God stop it? No. Are the babies now with God in heaven? Yes.

How is murder different than sexual abuse? You probably already know the answer to this.

A few more thoughts:

God loves children and cares for them.

Matt 18:1-7 (NIV)

1. At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

2. He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

And what does Jesus say to perps?

7 "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.

And the conclusion showing Jesus attitude?
Matt 18:10 (NIV)
"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

One other biblical account on this. I have found this account emotionally moving and helpful. The boy Ishmael was 13 years old and was exiled with his mother to the desert:

Gen 21:14-18 (NIV)

Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba.

When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob.

God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."

Here God heard the boy crying. God heard his suffering and his grief, and answered. The boy hadn't really even prayed as far as we know. It was a desperate cry.

I hope this helps

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#270973 - 01/12/09 01:08 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
Juni Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 502
Loc: Florida, WPB
Hi Nathan,

You are a deep person and I thank you for your candor. We could all learn a lesson from you.

There is a dark side to all of us. We are but human born to humans with a long line of sin through the ages. Human nature is enmity towards God. This comes from Adam. We will not rid ourselves of it until JC’s return. That is a reality.

Like Paul we have a thorn and as Paul discovered, God’s grace is sufficient for us. It has to be, because it makes us who we are. We can not undo or erase our life's experiences along with it's consequences. We have to take our cross and live life the best way we can, through faith. This is how our faith is strengthened, through our reliance on his grace, forgiveness, and any miracle He gives us. The day we stop depending on God is the day our faith begins to die.

This may be difficult to accept at first, however, you are unique and special. God accepts you as you are. He can use you. You will be a light and hope for those who need it. Men will see the way you gain strength through your faith and God’s ability to help you get through each day, despite yourself, and this will encourage and help other men build-up their faith.

Our bad side may not go away but we can increase our good side of the wall to the point where it will overshadow the bad and you will find yourself with good impulses to the point where you won’t engage in the bad. I am a testament to that. I used to engage in all kinds of destructive behaviors and acting-out and today I am so much better, not perfect just better. It’s a daily battle as it was for Paul who said, “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice” Romans 7:19. The goal then is to do engage in the battle daily by seeking strength from God who gives us “a way of escape” that we need to overcome daily, sometimes hourly, and by engaging in good service freely without expecting recompense.

My two cents.

Juni

_________________________
Today I'm O.K.
One day at a time I make the journey.

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#270991 - 01/12/09 04:48 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: 1love4christ]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Nester
our reactions to abuse vary depending on how much faith we had beforehand and the support we received after.

Where was God - waiting for us to cry out to Him in our pain. Look at it this way. What is abuse? = a violation of our will. So God who gave us boundries and free will (the powerer of choice) is not going to invade us. that would be abuse. besides He empowers us when we respond to Him.

please, all who read this post - I write out of my struggle and the cries of my heart. I suffered before I saw the Lord's hand of deliverance. and I still stuggle - see my posts
but I have faith in Jesus Christ. He gives me hope.

on the way to the cross Jesus suffered - easy to roll out those words, but His pain was extruciating like ours. He took our pain with His pain. His suffering was real and as severe as ours.
He is our deliverer becaue He suffered - like the painn of a nail into His hand - as I relived my pain at the moment I was violated I felt His pain - man - He took my pain.

He released me to cry. my rage did nothing - I read an interesting article that anger is productive but if it is not properly expressed it turns to rage and that is destructive as I know.

I was fortunate that my Grandmother, my Aunt and a Christian friend of my mother showed me the love of God before I was abused at 2. In Sunday school I had a teacher who showed us Jesus love which I soaked up.

One last matter - the Lord once asked me how much compensation I wanted for pain and suffering. I said a huge amount. He showed me He paid a much greater price. I felt healing as I looked at Jesus on the cross paying a price over above and beyond millions and millions and billions of what we would call pain and suffering. He paid a price beyond our cry for justice

Nathan

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#272064 - 01/20/09 02:04 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
dusty42 Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.



Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 02:14 PM)
Edit Reason: I no longer feel safe here
_________________________
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

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#272065 - 01/20/09 02:30 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: dusty42]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
I hear you loud and clear Dusty.
This is still a difficult issue for me.

lars

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#272121 - 01/21/09 01:38 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: lars3229]
dusty42 Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.



Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 02:12 PM)
Edit Reason: I no longer feel safe here
_________________________
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

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#272130 - 01/21/09 06:26 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: dusty42]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
my only hope is that God comes in His love to restore and heal
it helps me
Nathan 5

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#272194 - 01/21/09 02:35 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
dusty42 Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.



Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 02:11 PM)
Edit Reason: I no longer feel safe here
_________________________
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

Top
#272246 - 01/21/09 11:16 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: dusty42]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
It's true, dusty. No one can answer your questions but you can find the answer. Just remember that hatred, bitterness, and emotional pain are not where it's at. If your journey takes you down those roads turn around quick and go the other way smile

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#272252 - 01/22/09 01:37 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: WalkingSouth]
dusty42 Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.



Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 02:10 PM)
Edit Reason: I no longer feel safe here
_________________________
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

Top
#272254 - 01/22/09 01:55 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: dusty42]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6857
Loc: USA
dusty,

The love comes from God: in Christ. God is love. In people we will find sinners who have not really been able to love. Some of them are even perps. Learning how to love is a journey which never gets completely fulfilled this side of eternity.


10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
1 John 4:10 NLT Bible


Allen

pufferfish whistle




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#272263 - 01/22/09 06:53 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
What do I do with gay feelings? (from being abused by a man
How do I control my thoughts
how do I renew my mind after years of masturbating about gay sex - sometime sex with a past girlfriend?

I am truely a broken man

I feel like a failed christian

ashamed

confused

ever analysing

Nathan 5


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#272269 - 01/22/09 08:08 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
nathan, i am sorry to see you suffering so much over this. in answer to your question,
Quote:
What do I do with gay feelings?
, perhaps consider first dealing with the shame that causes you to think that sexual attractions are 'bad' in the first place. you can live in peace with yourself just as you are; give yourself permission to do so. sounds simple huh? ....it's not, but i have found accepting myself as i am is far easier row to hoe than trying to twist myself into something i believe i 'should' be in the i's of others. that's my take on it.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#272274 - 01/22/09 09:03 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: Sans Logos]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Ron
guess it was being sexually,abused in violation of my will at an age I couldn't comprehend and my mother messing with my head saying I wanted to go to that house of hell when my father took me there


Well man - I am giving myself permission to be sexually attracted

thanks for releasing me
Nathan 5


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#273512 - 02/01/09 10:32 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
expom Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 123
Loc: Australia
Passages in the Bible that continue to help me with my recovery from the effects of abuse:
- Jude 24 +25. Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling...
- Ecclesiastes 4 The value of a friend
- "Take no thought of tomorrow - what troubles it may bring"
- "Ah Lord God, you who made the heavens, nothing is too difficult for You"
- "What Satan planned for evil, I permitted for good"

There are many verses that speak into individual situations that may be for a lifetime or a single hour or day. Whenever I start looking for a>
_________________________
I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.

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#273781 - 02/03/09 03:29 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: expom]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Greetings my fellow brothers/friends.

This is an interesting subject, it is a subject that has been in the very depths of my soul. Along with all the abuse memories that have surfaced in the last 6 months, I am still trying to find me, just who am I? Just what am I?

I have posted this same question in another post.

If I truly can't find me? Just how am I to find God?

I made a post a while back, in the spirituality site, called
"Trusting God No longer". As of this moment I still believe in that post.

I read where he is with us from what is posted above. But some of us still ask the question where was HE when WE needed Him? We have to have faith in Him, we have to believe in Him. But if I can't believe in myself, how can I Him? I'm still in the depths of hell.

Heal well my brothers/friends.

Pete (Irishmoose)



Edited by petercorbett (02/03/09 03:30 AM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#273934 - 02/04/09 07:43 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: petercorbett]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
expom
thank you for the Bible passages

truely it is in God whom I place my trust

my desire is to walk in His ways
and trusting Him to restore my soul Palm 23

Nathan

_________________________
5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

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#274768 - 02/11/09 01:33 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: dusty42]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
Dusty and Guys

Our God is an awsome God full of love.. Im sorry you dont see god in that light. He only wants good things for yu and your life. He knew you before you were born, he knopws every hair on your head. He created you in his image.
Gods word will never come back void..."Gods will, will never send you were his grace wont protect you"
sorry fpr preaching...but I love God with all my heart and he loves me....
Gary

_________________________
Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

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#274776 - 02/11/09 07:55 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: wojax]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Gary
thank you.I too love God with all my heart. He has kept me alive and He is restoring my soul.

"Dear Lord Jesus,
we in this forum have been wounded
abused in our childhood by evil people
thank you we are able to support each other
and share insights
but many of us want more
some do not understand why you did not stop it
some of us just want answers, keys to recovery
healing of our souls, our broken hearts,
our sexuality and out horrid memories.
Please Jesus, release a wave of cleansing, of healing, of deliverance.
wash us
restore us
deliver us

show us the way out of our despair,
our patterns which hinder us
be our saviour please

Nathan


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#274800 - 02/11/09 11:29 AM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: nathan555]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Amen & Halleluia.......

Succinct and very powerfull prayer.......

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#275668 - 02/17/09 02:25 PM Re: the broken hearted in christ... [Re: 1love4christ]
SIDUDE Offline


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 47
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: 1love4christ
hey, i was able to learn male survivors accept and believe jesus christ as their savior. I wanted to ask how you deal with the old age question of: "where were you god when I was being sexually abused and how did you intervene?" this is something i battle with time to time as a victim. personally, i know our trust is broken but i think that there should be a legitimate answer to god's place and purpose during the times we are deeply being assaulted.

my best answer to this question has been jesus christ. the intercedding that we deeply wanted has occurred already and that we must wait until jesus christ to come back to finalize the work of god. therefore, i am hopeful to know that pain is being sacrificed for souls because it is the only reason why jesus is waiting to come back, when everyone has heard the gospel. this gives me hope...i would like to hear how you deal with this and share anything that helps you that can help me.

i want to add however, that as of recently, i've learned to cry and be angry at god and accept that he still loves me. this too has helped me realize that he is a loving god who did not neglect me.

thanks
_________________________
nestor


Unfortunatly Some of us can't wait that long, do you think he can hurry it up a bit?



Edited by SIDUDE (02/17/09 02:25 PM)

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