I wanted to ask how you deal with the old age question of: "where were you god when I was being sexually abused and how did you intervene?" this is something i battle with time to time as a victim.
i would like to hear how you deal with this and share anything that helps you that can help me.
I have wanted for some time to offer some of my thoughts on this, since I have also struggled with it.
It is a pretty big area and one could write a book about it. In fact there are books about it. I haven't found a good one yet however. That is, the books are not written by and for survivors.
Some of the thoughts that helped me are given below:
Jesus also suffered. He suffered more than I did (or you did).
"The abuses of those who abused you fell upon me" - This is about Jesus.
Psalm 69:9 and Rom 15:3 (Berkely Translation)
Jesus took our pain and suffering upon himself.
Just as we wonder, 'Where were you God? . . . when I got abused? '
Jesus had the same feeling on the cross. Jesus experienced the utmost cruelty and torture on the cross. He didn't deserve it. He asked why God (the Father) had abandoned him.
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
NIV (New International Version)
This is also in Psalm 22:1
God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
It also declares his nakedness:
Ps 22:18 (NIV)
18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.
Jesus was beaten very badly before the crucifixion.
"Then he (Pilate) released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. NIV
Jesus declared that John the Baptist was a very great man. Yet even though Jesus was not too far away in miles, John was captured and later beheaded by an evil perp named Herod. This shows that evil happens and that Jesus knows and cares.
Matt 11:11 (NIV)
11 I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist;
Matt 14:10-12 (NIV)
. . .and had John beheaded in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother. John's disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus.
Matt 14:13 (NIV)
When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.
In other words, Jesus cared deeply. But Jesus did not stop it. It wasn't an accident. God wasn't blind.
So what does this mean for us? Here was a great man, John, who was near in time and place to Jesus. Yet this did not stop the hurt to John. But Jesus cared.
Another biblical account that has helped me is that of the slaughter of the babies (infant boys) in Bethlehem. Here we had innocent young boys who were killed mercilessly and brutally. Herod the perp (the uncle of the Herod who killed John the baptist) ordered them killed to defend his lineage on the throne.
Matt 2:16 (NIV)
When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under. . This caused great suffering by the mothers.
Why does this speak to us who are survivors today? Because here were a bunch of innocent (young) boys who are hurt (killed) by an evil perp. There may have been a hundred baby boys. Did God know? Yes. Did God care? Yes. Did God stop it? No. Are the babies now with God in heaven? Yes.
How is murder different than sexual abuse? You probably already know the answer to this.
A few more thoughts:
God loves children and cares for them.
Matt 18:1-7 (NIV)
1. At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2. He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5 "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
And what does Jesus say to perps?
7 "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.
And the conclusion showing Jesus attitude?
Matt 18:10 (NIV)
"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
One other biblical account on this. I have found this account emotionally moving and helpful. The boy Ishmael was 13 years old and was exiled with his mother to the desert:
Gen 21:14-18 (NIV)
Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba.
When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob.
God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."
Here God heard the boy crying. God heard his suffering and his grief, and answered. The boy hadn't really even prayed as far as we know. It was a desperate cry.
I hope this helps