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#268182 - 12/21/08 09:24 AM Re: why? [Re: Geeders]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, My Friends/Brothers. Yes we sure do spend way too much time trying to figure out why. I think that some of the answers above probably have put it in the right perspective.

Marianne, Let me welcome you aboard. You are in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. From us, you will be given understanding, compasion and love. As you can see under our names it (most of the time tells where we're from) as you can see I'm right next door to your country. Please consider me your Friend/Brother in healing.

Geeders, All that French, wow, maybe you can help translate some of the posts to Marianne. By the way where I lived in the country, Billerica, Massachusetts, as a boy. The biggest city close by was Lowell, and there, there was a very large French population, and in those days the parents spoke French to their children at home, and the kids spoke English to their school and play mates, French and English was also taught in the Catholic schools in Lowell. One of the boys with me in that Catholic orphanage/Home was of French extraction, spoke with a French accent, and his name was Rudolph Chaput, or Chapo. Not sure of the spelling. Heal well my Friends/Brothers.
Pete (Irishmoose)





Edited by petercorbett (12/21/08 09:26 AM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#268190 - 12/21/08 11:40 AM Re: why? [Re: petercorbett]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Brother's and Sisters;

My 2 cents... Why was such a drag on my healing and recovery; which I have come to see as a loss leader/red herring, all of my attempts to understand the whys have been not borne fruit. I, with the help of a dear friend and brother in recovery, have come to see that I was looking for a "rational" explanation for "irrational" acts, and that ain't ever going to bare fruit!

He then led me to see a gem of wisdom in the AA Big Book;

"and acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today"

p417 of the 4th edition

The other why that was related and also troubled me was "why am I as I am"... I obsessed on this for too long as well, it may be different in that it is not irrational looking for rational... I have come to accept that there is no continuous set of gears that connect my first day of life and each experience to outcomes in the future. Life if far more complex than that and my isolating in my head to "figure out why I am as I am" is simply a source of pain and frustration... Again I accept that this is an untenable problem and that I am best advised to accept myself where I am and work on healing and following God's will as she has chosen to reveal it to me, thus far.

Simply put :-\ when I focus on the journey at hand, each moment of the day, I am able enjoy what life has to offer and my healing is a natural part of the journey; a journey that I am led through by improving my conscious contact with the God of my understanding.

Love always, your Brother Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#268194 - 12/21/08 12:27 PM Re: why? [Re: wes-b]
marianne Offline


Registered: 12/20/08
Posts: 3
Loc: France
It feels like we were talking about spirituality, or reading together an Echkart Tolle book wink
I appreciate this spirit that i don't encounter on the french forum, and i'm sometimes sorry about it, cause it's my biggest interest
but some victims feel like you negate (is it right?? don't hesitate to correct me anytime by the way!)them and their stories if you're talking about accept what happenened.
Or it's not the case, of course.
Ět's about not staying stuck in the past, and totally identified with the terrible events which happened there.

Thanks for welcoming me peter corbett, jim and michel david!!
actually, i'm more here to bring support thant to ask about it, even if some facts of my past can be linked to sexual abuse....



Edited by marianne (12/21/08 12:28 PM)
_________________________
I'marianne, from France, sorry for my english!!! ;

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