I'm very definite on how I see myself in this area.

distinctly streight, definitely a virgin (unless you count my sa), and absolutely petrified!

Sorry this is a bit brief, ---- I find writing here difficult but I really think I probably should to recover properly. I'll try a full topic when I can because I'm sure people here can give me some advice.

Sans,

Thank you for starting this topic.

I can relate to other men' words, but I also want to say for myself. I am 25, and the last time I had sex was more than a year ago, and seven years had been sexless before.

I am mostly concerned that I would have to find ways to have a place where to have sex, if I decided to have it at any price. I live with parents, and I just do not have space for this, and what to do?

Besides the said, I have not got a girlfriend who would let me know she wants my sex. I broke relationships with my last sex partner, and I did it for a reason.

I shall pray and ask God to help me have a woman and sex with her.

Alexey

Nonchalant said: "I've been toying with the belief lately that predominately heterosexual survivors who still have sex with men or get off to gay porn, may have a fetish for the male body (set in motion by the abuse) rather than any substantial attraction for men"

I am wondering about this idea said by nonchalant. No one seemed to reply to it directly. Is this me, I wonder?

I have never felt an emotional attraction to a male, only sexual desire. I never desired to kiss a male. I've never felt in love with a male partner. But I have felt a sexual attraction, and often fixated on the male body part(s). But nuthin' beyond that, and I always was puzzled about it.

Anyone seeing something that I am not, for what I described for me or their own experience. Thanks.

I have never felt an emotional attraction to a male, only sexual desire. I never desired to kiss a male. I've never felt in love with a male partner. But I have felt a sexual attraction, and often fixated on the male body part(s). But nuthin' beyond that, and I always was puzzled about it.

Same here. I don't feel emotional attraction to other men, but I do feel sexual desire toward them. It's after effects from CSA. And it's been a bitch trying to overcome it.

How do you know it is after effects? I'd appreciate if you can elaborate.

For what it's worth, I am not looking to explain away my desires, rather I'm seeking to understand more.

****TRIGGERS****

From talking to my counselor regarding the feelings I was have with same sex attractions, he explained it in a manner so I could understand it.

During the times I was being raped I was being told it would feel good, it feels good, I wanted it. I would like it... You get the point I'm sure. Since my body kept responding to the stimuli. And I started believing the lies they told me. They brained washed us into believing that what they were doing was OK and that we enjoyed and wanted it.

Now we are left to straighten it out, and get everything back to the way it was suppose to be in our individual lives.

I feel pretty much the same in regard to men but my T says I have very Hyper sexual behaviors towards women which caused a HUGE problem in my marrage.
Never acted out with men but the number of female partners I acted out with was embarrassingly high. My wife asked why and I could never give her an answer because I never knew why I did it, even though I took responsibility for what I did. We are both a little more at peace with the whole thing now and I have a little better understanding of why I do some of the things I do.

I feel numb at times and use sex or gay porn. to feel a live. do any one understand what I'm talking about? I just discovered this truth.

how do you deal with straight men flirting with you? I'm not sure of my response!!

The only thought at the moment is "Intimacy" with oneself is difficult. To learn who you are without the input from a very complex and difficult world, is impossible. I just wish you a little peace on your journey. Hang in there.