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#26604 - 04/19/02 08:12 PM Just wondering?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
How many people go to church? And do you believe what is being told to you or do you go just becouse it's what your sopose to do?

I guess Im haveing a real problem with the entire God loves you thing...I prayed lots of nights for god to make it stop...and he never did...I prayed lots of times for him to make me stonger so I could make it stop...and he never did...I guess I have lost my faith...if god loves me so much then why didnt he answer my prayers...what did I do to him? Why did he not protect me? I know all the stories all the "right" answers when it comes to god...."god will never give you more than you can handle"...well thats BS!!!!! If I could handle this then why do I need theripy???? If I could handle this then why do I have nightmares??? If I could handle this then why am I scared to love (ok my wife tells me that I am, I dont know....lol)????

So is there even a god to protect the little children? he said "blessed are the children." Well Im done..just haveing a pitty party for me I guess....and just mad at the world for being the world...I hope I get to the place I think so of you are soon...Im going to lose what little mind I have left....ok thats all for now..ty

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#26605 - 04/19/02 08:27 PM Re: Just wondering?
Anonymous
Unregistered


Note: I wrote this two years ago for a lady therapist at Chapman University's Community Clinic.
=============
Another incident. I must've been thirteen. It was an experiment. It was taken for granted back during 1959 that prayers to God were answered,especially prayers from children. So I sat on my bed,bent head toward knees,closed my eyes and quietly said "Dear God. Please make it stop. You know what I mean". Then,I waited. When "it" happened again I knew there was no God.
==============


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#26606 - 04/19/02 09:10 PM Re: Just wondering?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Hey Tinfoil,
I guess my biggest problem is that I am the member of a church. I try to go every sunday and I sing and I pray and even get watery eyed (when It's expeced of me, I should get an oscar). But in side I yell at god "WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER MY PRAYER'S, WHAT DID I DO TO YOU THAT YOU DIDNT CARE ABOUT ME!!!!!!". And the church Im a member of tells me that I HAVE to forgive the poeple that sinned against me. FORGIVE him....I hope he burns in hell....but then I tell my kids to be good study there bilble so they can go on a mission and do the lords work....yeah Im a hipacrit(spelling??). Just one more lie I have to live I guess.......

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#26607 - 04/19/02 09:21 PM Re: Just wondering?
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
James,
I have pissed so many people off when I talk about this subject that I am reluctant to say much. Needless to say at one time, I was so involved in church. The last time I went about 3 or 4 years ago, I just had one big anxiety attack. Me and God don't see eye to eye right now.

In my mother's funeral a couple of months ago, the minister of my parents said "we should all forgive one another" and I damn well knew who that was directed towards. I so badly wanted to ask the minister if God forgives child molestors! No one by my friend and I could see this, but I flipped him off. If I wouldn't have done that, I would have most likely caused a scene!

I could say a lot about this, but in the past trying to talk about it, people have just taken it as an attack against them, and I have been alienated for it. So like I said, I am very reluctant to say anything.

Don

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#26608 - 04/19/02 11:24 PM Re: Just wondering?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Hey Don,
I didnt mean to open a can of worms or anything that is touchy....I just wondered if anyone else went or is going through this and what they did to help out...sorry if anyone finds the question hard...

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#26609 - 04/19/02 11:43 PM Re: Just wondering?
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I know James. It is just something that was so much a part of my abuse and something at one time that was so much a part of my life. That really leaves me very confused. No, I don't want to get anything going either and that is why I held back in what I said... well even though it may not appear like I held back, I did... whew........

It is a tough thing and I heard that survivors who went through abuse related to religious and things took a lot to heal through it. I guess I'm just not that far along yet.

Anyway, kind of glad to hear someone else say what you did James.. because I think that a lot!

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#26610 - 04/20/02 12:27 AM Re: Just wondering?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Religious beliefs are intensely private. They're individual,not mass-think.


You know I think your right...never though of it that way....like I said sorry if I opened a can of worms with this one....but it's how I feel.... :rolleyes:

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#26611 - 04/20/02 11:54 AM Re: Just wondering?
Redsongbird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/01
Posts: 209
This is such a good topic. I have been dealing with this for a while but have not said anything either because I know it is a difficult subject. I am believe in God. I even went to a Bible college, I even got a minister's license - I even worked as a youth and music minister for 14 years and....here I am. I have felt cheated by God. I mean I did all the things He wanted me too and yet here I am dealing with past issues again and then getting raped at gun point back in October. This week I am furious that I have to go and get another HIV test done again. (the first one was negative) Because I have been told to take it at one month, and six month and a year intervals. I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT!!! I did everything HE wanted me too! but yet here I am. I have to though believe there is a God even though things have not went the way I thought they would. As with people I think the relationship between God and us is and must be an open one. So when I am pissed at him I tell him. ha! sigh. Sorry hope this has not offended anyone.

Terry :rolleyes:


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#26612 - 04/20/02 12:36 PM Re: Just wondering?
Anonymous
Unregistered


I stopped sessions with a lady therapist at Chapman University because she took her beliefs into therapy. Caused big problems. She told me there were things she did'nt want to talk about because of her religion. That freaked me out. I thought "Wait a minute. Who's the nut here,her or me?".
Just my opinion but I believ it's dangerous to introduce invisible spirits & goblins to someone undergoing extreme mental distress resultant from childhood sexual victimization.


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#26613 - 04/20/02 03:54 PM Re: Just wondering?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
wow tinfoil...she realy told u that???...omg...Im just haveing a real problem with all of this...oh well guess I'll live..I lived through my childhood years so I can live through anything....

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