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#265963 - 12/08/08 04:15 PM A new start
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
I have been speaking with a work collegue who knows that i am HIV+. They also know that i stopped taking the drugs. Today i showed that person my rash.

She told me that someone she knew passed away to AIDS and that they kept on ignoring the rash - the same rash that i have.She pleaded with me to restart the drugs and save myself before it is too late.

She said one simple thing to me "it is no good bolting the stable doors after the horses have bolted". I have a chance to "bolt" the door.

Tomorrow i will phone the hospital and start back on the path. I will fight the dark forces inside of me, but not on here, i will not allow the battle to spill out on here where it causes pain and hurt to others.

This is not about me, it is about all of us. for too long now i have pushed people away.My body is burning tonight. the rash is so painful that even pain killers cannot stop it.

that is all for now.
Duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

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#265964 - 12/08/08 04:19 PM Re: A new start [Re: duncanUK]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Duncan,

I am so sorry about all the pain you are in. I am relieved you have made a decision to phone the hospital tomorrow. Please fight, fight, fight...with all you got. Don't let this beat you. You're worth it buddy. Don't let those thugs from 9 years ago win. They're NOT worth it. You can beat them and this by deciding to fight this will all you got.

I'm with ya!

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#266012 - 12/08/08 08:15 PM Re: A new start [Re: duncanUK]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
well that's great news duncan. we need the special perspective, the story of the struggle of your suffering, that you bring to this incredible tapestry of survivors.
Quote:
This is not about me, it is about all of us
i think that's a good reason to hang around and keep talking and sharing with us, as we share and talk with you about our struggles.
there are so many faces, so many facets and so many perspectives on this disease. each story unique. each person a phoenix rising above the ashes.
all the stories keep us ever rising, as lewis says, to infinity and beyond.
stay here because we need you beyond words.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#266165 - 12/09/08 02:44 PM Re: A new start [Re: Sans Logos]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
I have made an appointment for the 30th December. I will be having my bloods taken next week.

I still worry that the dark side of myself is going to win. the 30th is such a long way off.

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#266235 - 12/09/08 10:00 PM Re: A new start [Re: duncanUK]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
Duncan,

I am so proud of you for doing this. You have my total support.

That dark side is not worth listening to. You deserve this chance at life that you are giving yourself.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#266768 - 12/12/08 04:51 PM Re: A new start [Re: LN3(SS)]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Duncan,

Good for you! Your friend is so right - do try to accept and profit from all the help and support you can get. You're worth all that and much much more.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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