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#265400 - 12/05/08 12:01 PM Spouses and Lovers of Sexually Abused Men
happtobloved63 Offline


Registered: 12/05/08
Posts: 3
I was beginning thi forum for the ladies that have husbands, lovers, boyfirends or companions that have told them in confidence that they have been sexually abused. I wanted to know how you dealt with it andhow did it change your relationship?


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#265420 - 12/05/08 02:16 PM Re: Spouses and Lovers of Sexually Abused Men [Re: happtobloved63]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Perhaps this belongs on the Friends and Family forum. You could copy and paste it there from the text window using the edit function. My first wife was incensed when she found-out about my abuse through an argument with my mother, and our relationship didn't survive it. I told my 2nd wife a light summary after a stressful moment early in our relationship, and more details came out last Spring and after I joined this site. She has been supportive and has some knowledge of the issues that survivor's and victims of family abuse face. Obviously, the revelation of past abuse does have consequences to many relationships, and fear or a lack of understanding has doomed a few relationships. The reaction that a guy gets when he takes that chance, often under great stress, is very important. Unless a partner has some prior knowledge of how to respond in a supportive manner and some empathy towards abuse survivors beforehand, there exist a wide range of possible outcomes some not as palatable as others.

There was a topic a while back on the Family forum about disclosure that both Robbie Brown and I participated in. The topic ran for several pages and I think that you might find its contents helpful. I think that it started last Summer.

Hope that you find what you are looking for,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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