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#265121 - 12/03/08 11:33 PM Help with healing
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Hey all,
A friend of mine pointed me to this site in hopes it would help with a fairly tough "funk" I've been in for the last week or so.
I was raped by a guy in my class 20 years ago (I'm 34 now). I've been through hell and back, tried therapy, counseling, etc. For the most part, I think of myself as a survivor and have been able to move on with most aspects of my life. I am married with four wonderful children.
My biggest difficulty is with nightmares and night terrors. I relive the entire experience through vivid dreams. I often shake violently and if it weren't for my wonderful wife would probably injur myself.
Does anyone have any suggestions/advice/real help for dealing with the nightmares? Like I said, I've tried therapy, etc. and nothing has worked. My latest bout has me experiencing the dreams as many as 6 times a night. I've slept a total of 7 hours in the past four days, partly because of being woken up during the nightmares and partly because of a fear to go back to sleep.
Thanks for anything you can pass along.
lars

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#265124 - 12/04/08 12:12 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: lars3229]
jims_recovery Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4
Loc: USA
Welcome Lars,

You have come to the right place.

Lots of hope and help on this site.

I used to have nightmares all of time. What has helped me was and is still, going to sleep watching color christmas lights on my wall (non-blinking) of my bedroom to calm me down and the colors relax me.

Also it helps to orient me to where i am if i wake up feeling scared.

I also cling to my teddy at night to get me to sleep.

Just some thoughts. I am sure others here have other ways.

Take Care, Jim

_________________________
"I will cry alone in pain no more"

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#265130 - 12/04/08 01:33 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: jims_recovery]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3389
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
welcome to MS Lars

I'm glad your friend led you here and I hope that you'll find much healing here

when my dreams were at their worst I kept a dream journal in which I would write every bit of detail that I could remember from the dream down in - and then after I was done dreaming I would say out loud to myself in an authoritive tone before going back to sleep "I do not need to dream this dream again because I have written it down" - sure, I still had repetitive dreams - but after a while they did slow down

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#265132 - 12/04/08 01:42 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: TJ jeff]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
I hate to ask this, I'm almost afraid of the answer: do they ever go away?

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top
#265135 - 12/04/08 01:51 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: lars3229]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3389
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Lars,

I can't say they will go away totaly because they hav'nt for me - but... what I can say (in my own experience only) is that the frequency has dropped and the intensity of the dreams has dropped dramaticaly over time

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#265314 - 12/05/08 12:13 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: TJ jeff]
md Offline


Registered: 11/30/08
Posts: 2
Lars - I'm not a therapist, but I've read that EMDR therapy has been effective treatment for traumatic events for some people, according to peer-reviewed research. I don't know if that was part of your therapy or if you've heard of it. If not, EMDR (according to Wiki) stands for Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and is a form of psychotherapy that was developed to resolve symptoms resulting from disturbing and unresolved life experiences. It uses a structured approach to address past, present, and future aspects of disturbing memories. The approach was developed by Francine Shapiro to resolve the development of trauma-related disorders as resulting from exposure to a traumatic or distressing event, such as rape.

I wish you the best in your journey. I honor your courage.

m


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#265321 - 12/05/08 12:34 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: lars3229]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Hey Lars,

Welcome to MS, you are amongst friends here.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#265322 - 12/05/08 12:35 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: md]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Lars,

EMDR has helped me immensely.

I have already posted my results several times, so I will just provide you with links to them.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...1373#Post211373

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...6150#Post256150

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...3231#Post253231

Let me know if you have any questions.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#265384 - 12/05/08 09:49 AM Re: Help with healing [Re: pufferfish]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
Thanks for the tips on EMDR. I'll look more into that.
I actually slept halfway decent last night, only two nightmares, which is quite an improvement over the rest of the past week.
Allen, thanks for the links, I read each one over and will try visiting with my doc.

Lars

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

Top


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