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#265296 - 12/04/08 09:48 PM We all have something we need to hide (triggers)
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11020
Loc: Denver, CO
I'm watching Smallville tonight. It has a character, a girl who can hurl fire with her eyes. She was talking to Clark about how she was a monster because she was different. She had to hide her power from people and hide herself, or people would hurt her. Clark extends a hand of help to her and she approaches him with some level of trust.

I get very annoyed when someone says to me they have nothing to hide. The phrase sounds almost self-righteous, as if they are a trouble-free person. I got news for that guy - we all have something to hide. If I could sit down with him and ask a few simple personal questions, I think he would discover the folly of his statement. Often we hide things so as not to risk rejection. Being reckless with ones' personals can be costly, relationally.

"I got nothing to hide."

Oh, but you do. We all do. Whether it's the amount in your bank account, or something personal about yourself that could damage you. And as survivors, we hid plenty over the years, perhaps to protect ourselves, or give false protection to the abuser in fear of making things worse for ourselves.

Just my rant for tonight.

Andy



Edited by FormerTexan (12/04/08 09:55 PM)
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#265301 - 12/04/08 10:03 PM Re: We all have something we need to hide (triggers) [Re: FormerTexan]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
I hear you Andy-
I guess what could maybe irritate me about hearing that (of course, depending on the context), is the combination of challenge, and unconscious self-defensiveness that it can possibly carry- in other words,

"I got nothing to hide"... and apparently i do, and am a weaker/lesser person for it?

"I got nothing to hide"... and exactly who was asking if you did?... You feel compelled to say this to me, exactly why? I certainly don't remember accusing you of such- "methinks thou doth protest too much" as they say...

While i can't say i've never ever uttered that phrase (or something close to it), i certainly can understand what rankles you about it, Andy ;-)
Rant away, brother- Lord only knows i've done (and i'm sure will continue to do) MY share....

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#265320 - 12/05/08 12:31 AM Re: We all have something we need to hide (triggers) [Re: dgoods]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
What if we want to believe that we "have nothing to hide."

Even though of course, we all do!

Is it not nice to believe that we, maybe DO have something to hide! But, are rather are not TRYING to hide anything, from others/OUR SELVES!!
What is so wrong to with trying to discover our own truths/ our self truths.

I don't find any fault practically with this. If one was to try to find fault with such a OR such things in general, I do NOT think it would be that difficult, but that is not the purpose of the site, this community.

I agree with you in a general sense, but I find that in trying to heal, That we---or at least I should not try to HIDE----I want to come forth and try to be strong and share my truth---spill my guts---I need to. This is the only place in my world that I have found that I may be able to do so...............I hope that I am not prevented from trying to say that from intimidation from failling to be 100% totally completely honest!.......................I have been hiding for too long and if I decide to declare what I believe in, OR anyone else for that mater, I would hold it as a step in the right direction/more of a good thing than bad. and I stand by that

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#265347 - 12/05/08 06:41 AM Re: We all have something we need to hide (triggers) [Re: Logan]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
I can shoot small nuclear-powered lemons out of my.... well... ahh.... you know!


Thank you for allowing me to feel comfortable telling you guys that. smile

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#265929 - 12/08/08 08:21 AM Re: We all have something we need to hide (triggers) [Re: Logan]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Logan, I completely agree with you. I will and if I have to spill my guts out in these pages I do, in all honesty. If I have something that I haven't seen mentioned on these and other pages then I'll PM some of my friends/brothers and get their help. I would post more personal things that I DID, while being sexually abused. I did them to some person, place or thing, while I was and wasn't under the control of my main perp. I do not know just where the MODS draw the line on just how far we can go. I know that these pages are in the public domain. Soon I want to update my secret my story with the latest memories that have resurfaced, and in there I will tell all, and let the MODS make any necessary changes. I cannot afford to have any SECRETS anymore if I am to be able to move on with that lost boy and me. Heal well my friends/brothers.
Pete (Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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