Newest Members
Lumpy, squeekinby, rhyoung, Jefferson22, OxfordArms
12369 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
aleja (40), bc22 (47), DavidMI (40), Forrest_Gump (39), Jay1946 (68), Malc4 (29), mpm01 (49), widpaulman (43)
Who's Online
3 registered (MrEdd, JW1230, 1 invisible), 19 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12369 Members
74 Forums
63570 Topics
444149 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#264889 - 12/02/08 03:19 PM ...
St3v3n Offline


Registered: 11/26/08
Posts: 102
...


Top
#264891 - 12/02/08 03:44 PM Re: My next goal...breaking free of shame [Re: St3v3n]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Stephan,

Learning to allow ourselves to be vulerable with others is a very scary and hard process to do. Because we risk being rejected and hurt all over again.
To this day If I am posting something very personal my first reaction to not post it. Then I post it and immedicately want to pull it because I feel I have exposed to much of myself. Then I sit here and watch how long it takes someone to reply and what their reaction to it is.
When their reply is not negative. I can go on to other things.

Thanks for your courage and commitment to your recovery for allowing us to get to know you better.

Best wishs and welcome to M/S.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

Top
#264897 - 12/02/08 04:55 PM Re: My next goal...breaking free of shame [Re: michael banks]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Shame is a big killer. That one is hard and its so destructive. I like to think that there is no reason to feel ashamed. That I believe is true but sometimes its hard to hold on to that concept. So many things happen throughout the day that we forget to hold on to that ideal and start to feel shame again because it has been ingrained into our habits for so long.

Awareness is key. Monitoring your thoughts and being aware of what caused you to feel the shame, whether it be in the past or present, is crucial to overcoming shame and getting it the heck out of your life for the time being. Maybe looking back at each situation and questioning yourself "Should I really be ashamed of that? If so, why?". Write it down and see what your answers are and you'll be shocked about what you believed and how those beliefs were based on something that was entirely not true.

There are so many better things to feel than shame so I look at shame as being a waste of time and energy but, that is only my perspective that I choose to have. You are responsible for your own.

Hope this helps

Peace bro,
Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

Top
#264910 - 12/02/08 06:50 PM Re: My next goal...breaking free of shame [Re: endlessjourney]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Originally Posted By: endlessjourney
Shame is a big killer. That one is hard and its so destructive. I like to think that there is no reason to feel ashamed. That I believe is true but sometimes its hard to hold on to that concept. So many things happen throughout the day that we forget to hold on to that ideal and start to feel shame again because it has been ingrained into our habits for so long.

Awareness is key. Monitoring your thoughts and being aware of what caused you to feel the shame, whether it be in the past or present, is crucial to overcoming shame and getting it the heck out of your life for the time being. Maybe looking back at each situation and questioning yourself "Should I really be ashamed of that? If so, why?". Write it down and see what your answers are and you'll be shocked about what you believed and how those beliefs were based on something that was entirely not true.

There are so many better things to feel than shame so I look at shame as being a waste of time and energy but, that is only my perspective that I choose to have. You are responsible for your own.



Gotta hand it to ya, Jason, this is a really good post right here! Not that all of em on this thread aren't, but this is my big battle right now too, and what you have suggested here is the one thing that I have been recently having the most success with.

And Stephan, thanks for bringing this up again! I don't think it can be talked about too much on MS cuz it's such a huge issue for so many of us!




Edited by blueshift (12/02/08 06:53 PM)
Edit Reason: ad comment.
_________________________
My Story
My Art

Top
#264968 - 12/02/08 11:28 PM ... [Re: St3v3n]
St3v3n Offline


Registered: 11/26/08
Posts: 102
...


Top
#264982 - 12/03/08 12:51 AM Re: My next goal...breaking free of shame [Re: St3v3n]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
One way of getting over shame is turning around and telling yourself, "Its OK!"

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.