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#264874 - 12/02/08 12:20 PM Defensiveness and PTSD #(Possible trigger warning)
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
"I know its easy to pick up that sword and start battling anything that comes your way. The hard part is putting that sword down and letting go. I still struggle with that at times and I've been working on it for years. Its been getting better tho."


Knowing and understanding the difference between when we should defend ourselves and when we can let down our guard is crucial to healing and living a life of happiness. Some say you should never let down your guard. Those who don't ever do that don't know what love is all about.

Letting down our guard can be risky but we learn as we go. It is not love that hurts us. It's fear, anxiety, shame, and depression. Love is a different emotion. Sometimes we make assumptions about people that aren't true. We may assume that someone is out to get us, abuse us, and judge us when that may not be the case at all. It's important to follow your gut if it tells you to beware but its also important to keep into account your mind is telling you to keep up your guard also because that's what it is has learned from the past. However, what was true in the past, is probably no longer true today. The past is dead! Why must we suffer for it over and over again? We are being punished over and over again for something that is not our fault.

With PTSD, a myraid of emotions come into play. It's not the visual images, or sounds we remember that torment us, it's the emotions that come with them. If you feel safe enough, perhaps try to write down your memory and observe all of the emotions that came with it. What were you feeling? Fear? Sadness? Anger? Put it all down and write down why you felt those feelings. This should help. Identifying with what's going on in these memories alleviates the confusion and makes it easier to deal with thus making it easier to heal from it. Be sure to pace yourself tho.

No, I am not a trained professional, however, I have experienced all of the above and this is what has helped me.

My intentions are not to bestow my beliefs on anyone else. These are just things that helped me and I'd like to share them with you all. You may take them or leave them. The ball is in your court now.

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#264916 - 12/02/08 07:30 PM Re: Defensiveness and PTSD #(Possible trigger warning) [Re: endlessjourney]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
I have found that I always need to second guess myself when it comes to my reactions to things in my life bcuz I know how prone I am to misinterpreting things and putting a negative spin on everything so that I keep feeling hated and/or attacked in some way.

I have a word I use now that describes a category of situations, comments, whatever that I can't make any judgment or draw any conclusions about bcuz I simply don't know enough about any of it to base such on. The word is "N.E.I.". (Not Enough Info).

Having that word to label whatever it is helpful for me as a way to finalize my decision to leave whatever it is alone and not do any further ruminating on it.

It's kind of like a big rubber stamp that I can just pound on the mental file and just stick it in the N.E.I. folder.
Seems to help..although it can still b hard sometimes not to pull the file out again anyway.







Edited by blueshift (12/02/08 07:32 PM)
Edit Reason: dislexia error
_________________________
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#265112 - 12/03/08 10:22 PM Re: Defensiveness and PTSD #(Possible trigger warning) [Re: blueshift]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
It sounds like you have that concept down. Making assumptions causes us a lot of pain in life. We make assumptions because it is human nature to be affraid of the unknown and if we don't know something, we make an assumption. It makes us feel safe. However, the unknown is nothing to be affraid of. It is what it is. For example: We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, is it necessary to worry about tomorrow if we don't know what's in store for us? This goes for dealing with other people especially. Relationships or everyday interactions with others. If we don't make assumptions and have the courage to ask questions, we can communicate better and prevent many disasters that may occur between us and someone else we know.

I've found that the only thing we have is the present. The future does not exist and the past is dead. We can spend it worrying and wasting our time and energy, or we can spend it letting go of the fear and learning to love ourselves and life and also learning to trust that whatever obstacles come our way, we can and will overcome.

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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