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#264648 - 12/01/08 02:36 PM Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today:
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I was writing a reply to a post that Ron made and I realized that today was the day after the 9th anniversary of my last relapse in the sober community in St. Paul, MN when I wasn't able to say no when one of my "sober" friends fell off of the wagon and pushed my drug-of-choice in my face.

I have 9 years clean off of cocaine today!!!

Staying off of cocaine took moving and leaving no forwarding address and having an unlisted phone number to stop people from just showing up at my front door to see if I needed any. It took breaking off contact with anyone that wasn't supportive of my goal to stay clean, which included almost everyone that I knew. It took finding another support group. It took finding some new friends who had nothing to do with my former crowd and their desire to abuse drugs at all costs. It took several years of on & off CSA recovery to begin to value myself enough to want to stay clean. It took an awful lot of effort to stay off for many years and took the effort of an awful lot of caring people to keep me clean and moving towards recovery. Today I am a year shy of 10 years off of my drug-of-choice and own a nice house in an upscale suburb, instead of living hand-to-mouth in the worst part of town wondering every day where my next hit was coming from.

Thanks to everyone who gave unselfishly of themselves to try to help me get to this point!!!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#264649 - 12/01/08 02:48 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11025
Loc: Denver, CO
Mark,

I am very happy for you! That is quite a testimony to personal healing.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#264653 - 12/01/08 03:15 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: FormerTexan]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
happy anniversary mark, and many more years of thriving to you!

keep on truckin'

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#264669 - 12/01/08 04:02 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Congrats Mark! Job well done!
Take yourself and your wife out to dinner to celebrate!

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#264673 - 12/01/08 04:25 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Geeders]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Thanks guys. The Fortune Valley casino in Central City, CO is hosting us for another free night in a king room tonight for our celebration. The Riviera casino down the street in Blackhawk has an all-you-can-eat crab leg and prime rib buffet for $12.99 and Monday night is half price night over age 50. There is also a coupon in the Colorado Gambler magazine for half-off there Monday-Thursday for everyone. And the Century casino right across the street has a $5.99 prime rib dinner special that is pretty good too. But don't forget your snowboots, ski gloves, and winter hats if you want to join in the fun because it is snowing up there again today. The casino bus from Denver is only $18 per person and most casinos there will comp you $15 of it back. See you there in time for dinner or be square.

That is 3,287 days for you AA fans!!!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#264675 - 12/01/08 04:32 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Sans Logos]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Mark,

Congrats on the nine years and wish many more years of healthy living.

I can relate to the fact of having to leave your old world and find an entirely new one to recover.
In all areas of recovery to truely,heal we have to find a new postive support group to replace the negative ones in order to really heal.
We cannot heal in isolation because if we try, we will fall back into the old set patterns of behavior sooner or later.

Wish you the best my friend,

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#264680 - 12/01/08 04:43 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: michael banks]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

That is such great news, bro. I very pleased for you, and proud too. I know how hard this is to achieve. I remember feeling so totally aghast as I realized I was going to have to choose between my life and the broken messed-up crowd I had been in for so long. It felt like I was reinventing myself, and I was. I had to turn my back on practically everyone I knew.

But it's great to look back on the achievement. That and more than a bit sad too, however. Every now and then I hear the news of how so and so ODed or some other guy was found in a corridor or doorway somewhere.

You chose wisely. Stand tall! smile

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#264695 - 12/01/08 06:11 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Congrats Mark - awesome acheivement!

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#264700 - 12/01/08 06:22 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: joelRT]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
thats awesome Mark. I envy you. I have almost 2 months.

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#264748 - 12/01/08 08:46 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Logan]
beakin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/13/08
Posts: 44
Loc: Texas
Mark:

Congratulations! That's awesome. I have a little less than six years sober now. I lost a lot of things in 33 years of drinking - or more truthfully, I threw away a lot of things with my drinking.

Anyway, not only do I know how difficult it was for you to get clean, I know it takes work. I also know the rewards are many.

Hope you had a great evening out!



ben

_________________________
Only you can do it, but you cannot do it alone.

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#264752 - 12/01/08 08:49 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: beakin]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Congrats, Mark! That's great time!

Got an extra laying around you forgot about? LOL

wink

Rich

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#264800 - 12/01/08 09:58 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: beakin]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
Mark, Congratulations! You have proven that we do not have to be subject to anything. It is in our power, and the power of a higher power, to be what we want and should be!

A million kudos!

Paul

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#264801 - 12/01/08 10:04 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Mark,

You have my total respect and admiration for this accomplishment.

Thanks for celebrating with us.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#264802 - 12/01/08 10:05 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: WalkingSouth]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
That's excellent, Mark! And is no small accomplishment!

_________________________
Eddie

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#264821 - 12/01/08 11:03 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Let me just add to the chorus, and say "Congrats" too...
There's been too many people i cared about, that i had to turn away from, because they couldn't even admit they were doing it in the first place, let alone that they had a problem. I know from my experience with drinking- if you're hooked, no matter what anyone else says or does, or what happens, you won't stop, unless you are truly ready to- or your body quits on you, whichever comes first... Be proud of yourself, Mark!

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#264880 - 12/02/08 01:19 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: dgoods]
siranthonysghost Offline


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 24
Loc: Hawaii
What a happy post! I too had a wicked cocaine addiction which only aggravated my acting out and nearly killed me. Today I have a little over two years off cocaine and over three months of total sobriety since my relapse. I was very happy to read about a brother who had been able to shake the habit for such a long and successful time. My heart feels glad for you, but still be careful!

-mike


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#264885 - 12/02/08 02:38 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: siranthonysghost]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
Congrats Mark!



Edited by Niels (12/10/08 07:50 AM)
Edit Reason: privacy-trust issues-post deleted
_________________________
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#264895 - 12/02/08 04:27 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Niels]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Mark,

Very good. That's wonderful.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#264899 - 12/02/08 05:00 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: beakin]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Hell yes! congratulations. That says a lot about your inner strength and character! You are an avatar of hope for many that are still struggling with their addictions.

Well done sir. Keep it up!

Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#264908 - 12/02/08 06:42 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: endlessjourney]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Good show, bro! Cocaine is a bad drug 4 many people..maybe all people for that matter. Glad u beat it.


_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#264918 - 12/02/08 07:52 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: blueshift]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Maybe this should go in the Progress Forum? I don't know.

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#264942 - 12/02/08 09:35 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Logan]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
We just got back from our celebration up at the casino. The casino manager was so sorry to see us trying to leave with all of their money that he offered us another night in their hotel on a comp basis with a typed and hand-signed letter, which I can use anytime. Between us Teri and I were up $279 for 5 hours of hard work at the casino enjoying free drinks plus the free room and the food comp too.

Thanks for all of the responses. It is just like Larry and I said: In order to stay clean off of drugs and alcohol you have to leave behind old friends that are not supportive of your recovery. I always wondered how I was going to find new friends when I had such a hard time making friends over time due to the unresolved effects of my abusive childhood. For years my using friends took the place of the loss of my abusive family. Having to get rid of most of my friends seemed like a foreign concept when I first heard it at Hazelden. I found out the hard way that Hazelden was right though. The challenge is to rid yourself of the user crowd that will try endlessly to drag you back down, find more positive and less self-destructive coping methods, while at the same time you have to find supportive friends and alternative activities not centered around using to occupy your time with. And staying off of my drug-of-choice made progress in my CSA recovery come much easier than it had been when I was using. I recovered my self-esteem after I quit using and through that process I succeeded on my job, I bought and managed to keep-up my house payments for 7 years now, and eventually I found the woman that has now become my wife. It took a lot of hard work and commitment, and just a little bit of luck too.

Recovery is possible. The biggest boost to my self-esteem was staying off of coke and my success at my job. The rest sort of fell into place once I was beyond the ruinous effects of my addiction. It is much easier to recover your self-esteem if you are clean and employable. Personal success builds self-esteem which gives you the freedom to take more chances and enjoy more success. Pretty soon the past is just a distant memory.

I posted this here because the progress forum is limited in the number of responses. If the management wanted to move the entire topic to the progress forum I would be in favor of it. Thanks again for everyone's support. Hope that everyone here can enjoy the level of success that the last 9 years have brought me. You can do it if you are willing to get clean and keep trying until you find success.

Keep your head up and keep trying, and you guys can find the freedom that we were all born to deserve too!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#264969 - 12/02/08 11:29 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

All I can do is agree with everything you say. I thought I was immune to rehab because I didn't get the point (actually, no one told me) that I was going to have to reinvent myself and walk away from life as I knew it at the time.

But I now see the 4th of July as my personal independence day. That day in 1975 was the last time I cooked up. It's funny how you don't see these victories at the time you score them. I didn't feel triumphant at all - just scared that once again my "success" wouldn't last. In fact, it's only been in the past few months that I have even realized that I don't hear The Voice calling me back anymore. When did that stop? I have no idea.

But I know I wouldn't be alive today had I continued the way things were 33 years ago. As one of my teachers in college asked me, "Are you going to live your life or lose it?"

You had to choose, bro, and so did I. And anyone else can too. It's a rough road, but we're all worth it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#265069 - 12/03/08 05:05 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: roadrunner]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Mark,

After seeing my late brother suffer from addiction for most of his teen and adult life, I have witnessed first hand the difficulty of overcoming your addiction. What you have achieved is a major life accomplishment. Congratulations!!

Dan


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