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#264918 - 12/02/08 07:52 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: blueshift]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Maybe this should go in the Progress Forum? I don't know.

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#264942 - 12/02/08 09:35 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Logan]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
We just got back from our celebration up at the casino. The casino manager was so sorry to see us trying to leave with all of their money that he offered us another night in their hotel on a comp basis with a typed and hand-signed letter, which I can use anytime. Between us Teri and I were up $279 for 5 hours of hard work at the casino enjoying free drinks plus the free room and the food comp too.

Thanks for all of the responses. It is just like Larry and I said: In order to stay clean off of drugs and alcohol you have to leave behind old friends that are not supportive of your recovery. I always wondered how I was going to find new friends when I had such a hard time making friends over time due to the unresolved effects of my abusive childhood. For years my using friends took the place of the loss of my abusive family. Having to get rid of most of my friends seemed like a foreign concept when I first heard it at Hazelden. I found out the hard way that Hazelden was right though. The challenge is to rid yourself of the user crowd that will try endlessly to drag you back down, find more positive and less self-destructive coping methods, while at the same time you have to find supportive friends and alternative activities not centered around using to occupy your time with. And staying off of my drug-of-choice made progress in my CSA recovery come much easier than it had been when I was using. I recovered my self-esteem after I quit using and through that process I succeeded on my job, I bought and managed to keep-up my house payments for 7 years now, and eventually I found the woman that has now become my wife. It took a lot of hard work and commitment, and just a little bit of luck too.

Recovery is possible. The biggest boost to my self-esteem was staying off of coke and my success at my job. The rest sort of fell into place once I was beyond the ruinous effects of my addiction. It is much easier to recover your self-esteem if you are clean and employable. Personal success builds self-esteem which gives you the freedom to take more chances and enjoy more success. Pretty soon the past is just a distant memory.

I posted this here because the progress forum is limited in the number of responses. If the management wanted to move the entire topic to the progress forum I would be in favor of it. Thanks again for everyone's support. Hope that everyone here can enjoy the level of success that the last 9 years have brought me. You can do it if you are willing to get clean and keep trying until you find success.

Keep your head up and keep trying, and you guys can find the freedom that we were all born to deserve too!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#264969 - 12/02/08 11:29 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: Trucker51]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

All I can do is agree with everything you say. I thought I was immune to rehab because I didn't get the point (actually, no one told me) that I was going to have to reinvent myself and walk away from life as I knew it at the time.

But I now see the 4th of July as my personal independence day. That day in 1975 was the last time I cooked up. It's funny how you don't see these victories at the time you score them. I didn't feel triumphant at all - just scared that once again my "success" wouldn't last. In fact, it's only been in the past few months that I have even realized that I don't hear The Voice calling me back anymore. When did that stop? I have no idea.

But I know I wouldn't be alive today had I continued the way things were 33 years ago. As one of my teachers in college asked me, "Are you going to live your life or lose it?"

You had to choose, bro, and so did I. And anyone else can too. It's a rough road, but we're all worth it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#265069 - 12/03/08 05:05 PM Re: Nine Years Off of Cocaine Today: [Re: roadrunner]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Mark,

After seeing my late brother suffer from addiction for most of his teen and adult life, I have witnessed first hand the difficulty of overcoming your addiction. What you have achieved is a major life accomplishment. Congratulations!!

Dan


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