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#264374 - 11/29/08 04:56 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: Bewlayb1]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Bewlayb1
I believe the cliche, you can't love until you love yourself.
Where does that leave pedophiles? I think they all despise themselves, to the point of wanting to ravage themselves.

I think all pedophiles have such a deep rancor for themselves, they wish they were never born.


Not all pedophiles have a conscience. Some love themselves intensely. We call them sociopaths, or narcissists, or psychopaths.

Quote:

It isn't a twisted sexuality alone. A warped psyche leds to a twisted sexuality.

I reached this conclusion not based on anything I read, but lots and lots of obsessing. I hate all pedophiles. I wish they were all dead. But I see them as victims of their own minds.


Bewlayb1 and Lewis,

Good statements each.

here is a dictionery definition of pederastry
ped·er·ast (pµd“…-r²st”) n. A man who has a sexual relationship with a boy. --ped“er·as”ty n.

In ancient Rome, as I have heard (I wasn't there), half of the population consisted of slaves. Abuse was rife. It was so dangerous for boys that they had to be accompanied to school and back whith special trusted slaves (we call them body guards today). The Emperor Claudius was a pedophile, oops, correction pedoscele, oops correction, pederast.

I saw the movie I Cladius on TV fairly early in my recovery. It nearly made me sick at my stomach. It had terrible triggering in it for me.

http://www.historyinfilm.com/claudius/index.htm

Well, probably "pedoscele" is good for the T, "pedophile" is good for the nonthinking journalist, and "pederast" is good for the angry victim (me).Yes, what do you call the victim?
A survivor?, victim?, or person in recovery, or what?

Allen

pufferfish whistle





Edited by pufferfish (11/29/08 05:09 PM)
Edit Reason: better define the thought

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#264378 - 11/29/08 05:30 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
Bewlayb1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 241
Loc: NYC
The teacher who sexually abused me for two years was a sort of narcissist. He was very handsome and muscular. When a girl in my class had a crush on him, I remember him seeming flattered. Ostensibly, he had an extremely high opinion of himself. But, I believe, it only masked his sense of worthlessness. Isn't the most arrogant man ultimately the most self-doubting? Why else would he need the adoration of an eight year old child?

Plus, I never suggested pedophiles had a conscience. In fact, if a pedophile expressed remorse over his crime, there's no way in hell I would believe him. They lie freely to others and they rationalize their actions to themselves.

I hardly know anything about that Ancient Greek business. But here's a thought. The modern world is also rife with pedophiles, they just hide, sneak and skulk like the scourge they are. What if the only difference was that society did not have the same stigma against pedophiles? There weren't more of them, they were just open. It's hard to imagine, because the damage to the victim is so devastating. But, as well, ancient cultures didn't put the same value on human life that we do. It's just a thought.

Interesting discussion, even if it is kind making me sick to my stomach.


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#264385 - 11/29/08 06:10 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: Bewlayb1]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.



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#264397 - 11/29/08 07:29 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: steveb121]
jacobtk Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 527
Well, keep in mind that not everyone who preys on children is necessarily a pedophile. A lot of people who abuse children aren't sexually attracted to them. They do it because they want to, because they like having that kind of power over a person, like when people rape children during war or children in prison.

_________________________
Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn/Every day I have to find the courage/To walk out into the street/With arms out/Got a love you can’t defeat/Neither down nor out/There’s nothing you have that I need/I can breathe/Breathe now - U2

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#264400 - 11/29/08 07:51 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: jacobtk]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Thank you Jacob,

I'm a fervent advocate for appropriate vocabulary, Unfortunately in today's media driven sound-bite race the proper and technical definitions get jumbled together for the sake of expediency. The tragedy that this has caused, of course, is that while everyone loves to bang the drum denouncing chlid sexual abuse, they are all marching to different paces for a most discorcordant result.

A paedophile is not an aelophile is not a molester is not a rapist.........................

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#264521 - 11/30/08 06:15 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: joelRT]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Originally Posted By: joelRT
A paedophile is not an aelophile is not a molester is not a rapist.........................


Just read through this thread and was struck that it started out being about how abusers think, immediately equated abusers with pedophiles, and then switched to the can they/can they not be rehabilitated topic. I wonder where the quick labeling comes from and how it serves us...

Mike


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#264560 - 11/30/08 11:59 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
jggab Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 53
Loc: California

Not all pedophiles have a conscience. Some love themselves intensely. We call them sociopaths, or narcissists, or psychopaths.

That's true! My second perp has his own web site. . . named after himself.

Jon


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#264574 - 12/01/08 01:24 AM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: jggab]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I BELIEVE THAT THEIR MIND IS NOT WIRED PROPERLY.
BUT CASTRATING THEM MIGHT HELP SOLVE THAT. I KNOW THAT THAT SOUNDS HARSH. BUT WHAT THEY DO TO OTHER PEOPLES LIVES IS MUCH MORE HARSH. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE HAD THERE ENTIRE LIFE DESTROYED SO THAT SOME SICK BASTARD COULD HAVE A FEW MITUTES OF HIS OWN SICK PLEASURE. WITHOUT ANY REAGUARD FOR ANY ONE EALSE THAT GETS HURT

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#264581 - 12/01/08 02:44 AM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Perhaps someday medical science will learn how to screen for the child sexual abuser defect in the unborn so that we can rid ourselves of this monumental societal menace once and for all.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#264582 - 12/01/08 03:09 AM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: Barkabus]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Oh for God's sake! Are you suggesting pedophilia is a born trait?

That's a hoot! And Mike, this is me challenging the statement you just made. I'm not "bullying" or "manipulating" you.

Rich

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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