Newest Members
MG5555, ShinTensei, jaklumen, Bennett, 0128
12506 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Drea (31), gpdno (47), serb guy (49), Thomas8221 (60), UncleClover (43)
Who's Online
2 registered (iaccus, 1 invisible), 24 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12506 Members
74 Forums
64200 Topics
448022 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 4 of 10 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 9 10 >
Topic Options
#264286 - 11/29/08 03:54 AM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: jacobtk]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
in my case I believe that it was because he had the power to and could get away with it .

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

Top
#264330 - 11/29/08 01:53 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
The word "pedophile"


pedo is derived from the greek word for child.

-phile is derived from the word for love.

But it is a misnomer. Pedophiles do not love children, they hate them.

The pedophile wants to dominate; to control; to manipulate. They are selfish and seeking their own interests, their own gratification.


To truly love a child would be to seek the child's best interests.

That would mean making the child feel better about himself, not worse.

That would mean helping the child to trust, not to destroy the child's ability to trust.

That would mean to help the child in his quest for self discovery, not to occlude it.

That would mean to help the child in his impending discovery of sexuality, not to distort or destroy it.

That would mean helping the child to learn to exercise his own will, not to destroy it or manipulate it.


Allen

pufferfish whistle


Top
#264337 - 11/29/08 02:34 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
I believe they can be helped but I don't believe they can be healed. Help would be a constant blockade from them to never hurt again. Healing would mean that they can be around children with not a single evil thought running in their head. As long as there is a thought there is a chance. They need life long "help" pretty much as a standard treatment. I am not able to trust that they can be self-reliant when it comes to the safety of children. They need a responsible liason to keep them up to a standard of social being indefinately.

They should be taught to feel ashamed of what they've done, to feel embarrassed, to understand the evil they did. If they are completely unresponsive.... nuke 'em for all I care. The thing is that at any rate they should not be able to entertain even the thought of hurting a kid, no image, no contact, nothing.

There are plenty of perverted adults who prey on 18 year olds, at least give kids a fighting chance up to that age.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

Top
#264339 - 11/29/08 02:50 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Allen, and everyone else too

This is going to push so many buttons, but please hear me out before jumping all over me.
Quote:
To truly love a child would be to seek the child's best interests.

That would mean making the child feel better about himself, not worse.

That would mean helping the child to trust, not to destroy the child's ability to trust.

That would mean to help the child in his quest for self discovery, not to occlude it.

That would mean to help the child in his impending discovery of sexuality, not to distort or destroy it.

That would mean helping the child to learn to exercise his own will, not to destroy it or manipulate it.


In ancient Greek culture it was known as Pederasty and was regarded as an honorable practice.
The pederast's role was exactly what Allen describes above. The Greeks had laws governing pederasty and while it was not expressly forbiden to have sexual relations with one's young (read teen) charge the practice was looked down upon and discouraged.

Socrates was a well known pederast and a strong advocate for chaste pederasty.

It was the Romans, with their orgies and sexual mis-use of their slave boys and girls, who perverted pederasty and bequeathed us the normal practice of sex with children.

Don't even get me started on ancient Islam....................

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

Top
#264341 - 11/29/08 02:58 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: joelRT]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
yes it is about somebodies perverted desire to control and have power over somebody to make themselves feel good and to get pleasure, it is not about loving a child, if somebody abuses a child they do not love that child, if they cared for a child they would think about their feelings and not just their own sick gratification. I completely agree with Allen.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#264343 - 11/29/08 03:04 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: king tut]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.


Top
#264349 - 11/29/08 03:19 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: steveb121]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: steveb121
Whereas a pedoscele is a hater of children and is what i call them


i call them much worse than that, but lets not go there, one thing for sure is the things they do are completely despicable, whether it is what they do that we should be angry at or who they are i'm still not sure, i guess we are defined by our actions, but part of me wants to think that their condition is more of a disease, but i guess that is just me still considering whether true reconciliation will ever completely be possible, there are so many "reasons" that these people give for what they do, none are excuses, nothing excuses what they did, and it seems certain that forgiveness is not ever about forgiving them for what they did but is more about letting go- in a way, but that is another arguement that has been done in another good thread. whatever they say after the deed is done and after they have got through the cloud of making excuses to themselves to convince themselves that what they are doing is ok (telling themselves lies like it is not so bad or maybe the child likes it and maybe it wont affect him very much) i am very sure that whilst they are doing this to children they are not thinking about the children they are thinking about themselves. They are selfish people who lie to themselves to convince themselves that what they are doing is ok, all of this damage to a child for their whole life just for the abusers satisfaction.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#264350 - 11/29/08 03:21 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: steveb121]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
pedoscele - Never heard that word. Maybe it will catch on and bring attention where it is needed


Top
#264352 - 11/29/08 03:30 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: steveb121]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: steveb121
Whereas a pedoscele is a hater of children and is what i call them


a pedo seal is a baby seal



Allen

pufferfish whistle


Top
#264367 - 11/29/08 04:31 PM Re: Why do abusers abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
Bewlayb1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 243
Loc: NYC
I believe the cliche, you can't love until you love yourself. By extension, all love is based in your feelings of self-worth. A man who beats his wife thinks, deep down, he deserves to be beaten.

Where does that leave pedophiles? I think they all despise themselves, to the point of wanting to ravage themselves. If a man killed a child, my first thought would be that he wished he was dead. It's no different for pedophiles. Self-hating doesn't describe it. The phrase is too weak. I think all pedophiles have such a deep rancor for themselves, they wish they were never born. Where did this sentiment originate? I view it as a psychological mistake, like schizophrenia. An error in development creates a monster. It isn't a twisted sexuality alone. A warped psyche leads to a twisted sexuality.

I reached this conclusion not based on anything I read, but lots and lots of obsessing. I hate all pedophiles. I wish they were all dead. But I see them as victims of their own minds.


Top
Page 4 of 10 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 9 10 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.