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#263576 - 11/24/08 10:24 AM This weekend was really tough...
AYounglove10 Offline


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 30
Loc: U.S., Arizona
So, last Saturday, I went back to my old neighborhood where it all happened. My best friend came with me because I didn't feel comfortable enough to go alone. I saw my house, the window leading into the room where it all happened. I felt really terrible going there, yet I felt good going knowing I was making an effort to remember more and move past all of this. I haven't really had a chance to go over everything i felt that day.

That night was when my best friend brought up to his parents that he too was molested. The next day, Sunday, I went over to help him explain in detail what happened to him. It was very uncomfortable and I die inside knowing that it happened to his kid, this friend and brother, and it hurts seeing him in pain.

Any words would be great? I just feel extremely overwhelmed dealing with my own stuff and my best friend's.


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#263583 - 11/24/08 11:55 AM Re: This weekend was really tough... [Re: AYounglove10]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 861
Loc: washington
AYounglove10,

My CSA wasn't isolated to a single place, so when I went to deal with it I went to a place in my mind.

I had a person let's call her a coordinator who was in a room where I was linked via a projection apparatus to a phychiatrist on the mainland. (pretty cool technically).

As a result of this meeting, this coordinator pulled a whole bunch of stuff off the web, including a newsletter from this website. I labeled this stuff, in the manilla envelope as Pandoras Box. (No computer at this time, which led me to being invisible here on my AA sponsors house/computer).

So, when I opened up Pandoras box after reading a couple of top notch CSA books I thought I was ready,but I was beyond overwhelmed. I called my sponsor and told him my situation and that, I CANNOT BE ALONE. and went over to his house that night.

Same situation at a later time, alone again in my house,I opened Pandoras Box.The pain sucked RRREEEAAALLLLLLYYY BBBAAADDD. I felt isolated and truly alone.

I am a rock, I am an island, and this suckes soooo baaaad. I felt the pain, then I embraced it.

I skated on the thin ice, next to the lunatic fridge of the radiant abyss. This led to a rallying point. Who is going to save your soul?

Beyond triggering and absolutely cathartic as contamination (be it painfull) must be removed to avoid infection and allow healing...!!!



Big Boys Don't Cry (Extreme) and Real DOGS Don't BARK.

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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