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#263034 - 11/21/08 05:22 PM Important update.....
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Soooooo...... Last weekend I was feeling kinda sick, and on sunday morning, I was having a lot of trouble breathing!!!. I was coughing and wheezing and only exchanging about 1/2 a liter of air (an adult male can exchange about 4 1/2 liters of air at full capacity). It really hurt to breath deeply.

I knew i was in danger (former Paramedic) so I called 911 and went to the emergency room.

They put me on a Non-rebreather mask at, 50 Leters per Minute (LpM) of pure oxygen and even with that much O2, my SpO2 (pulse oximetry or how much O2 saturation is in my oxygenated blood) this gives and indication on how well the lungs are working at releasing CO2 and retrieving O2 from exchanging breaths AKA Basic Respiration. Even at 50 LpM My SpO2 was saturating on the monitor at 85%.

Now my mom was with me and I did not want to frightener further, but from my previous medical training I knew that my situation was very grave to say the least. I honestly thought that I might not live to Monday.

To make a long story and frightening experience sound shorter, I was in the ICU for 2 1/5 days and then in follow-up for another 2 and ER in the beginning for at least 1/2 a day so all totaled, I was in the Hospital for 5 days, 2 of those days in very serious condition. While I was in the ICU, I got flashbacks from being a Paramedic, when I heard peoples families sobbing about love ones dying in rooms next to mine.

On my second day in the ICU, I became really emotional realizing how close to the "drain" i was, and began to question why I survived the nights and others did not fair as well.
I mean, I know 'That everyone that survives, feels guilty,' to some degree, but this was different some how. I guess seeing a lot of something (death and dying and suffering), and experiencing it for your self are very different things.

I cried when the family of the 24yr old female of a car accident who died were crying, although they did not see me. I think I cried for all those that did not make it--when I was a paramedic, I lost a lot of patients, but one has to emotionally detach ones self from that type of situation or suffer painful after thoughts.

I guess i never did let go of that part of my life--one more thing to be a where of and work on. It was something that made me self punitive and self sacrificial these years after.


I guess i just want to say I feel very grateful to be alive and have never thought of my mortality as REAL. I don't think that I will view life ever again in the same way of indifference as I once did.

Summery:
new diagnosis's: Asthma, Potentially fatal Allergies
Tx New meds, bronchiodilators, corticostertoids.
Behavioral/ life style changes: QUIT Smoking!!!!, avoid irritants and known allergens, wear Masks/respirators at Laboratory(my job), carry epinephine auto injectors where ever I go.
Outlook: Hopeful! smile

Take care of your selves, my Brethren!

Your fellow Brother,
Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#263041 - 11/21/08 07:47 PM Re: Important update..... [Re: Logan]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i was wondering where you were logan! i am glad you are ok and have a hopeful attitude. welcome back, and take it easy.

are you interested in participating in our book discussion? let us know.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#263043 - 11/21/08 08:20 PM Re: Important update..... [Re: Logan]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
Glad to hear you are still with us Logan! I remember I once had an asthma attack like that out of the blue when I was out shopping. It was really scary and I got so triggered like I was being strangled and I panicked - thought that I was dying now.

I can relate to crying when loosing patients. Another human dies in front of you and it is not always peaceful and pretty. I knew I did everything technically right and possible to sustain life, but it was over. I cried when I got home. Sometimes I even cried with the relatives. It was OK. So I understand you got triggered at the hospital.

Now as for quitting smoking - I have never been able to do it. I have always relapsed, even after years of quitting. I have tried everything!!! I have discovered Electronic cigarettes - Cigarettes with an atomizer that condense the air and produce a vapor that inhaled through a flavoured nicotine cartridge produce smoke and the sensation of smoking and inhaling and gives a nicotine kick too - but without the tar, carbon monooxide, and the other 600 hundred carcinogens in cigarette smoke. It is odourless. Only downside is that it keeps the nicotine addiction going .... but without the healthrisks.

I buy my electronic cigarettes in UK but I know there are many in the US too. Something to consider for all that is unable to quit cigarettes - but hate the smell and fear the health risks.

See here is an E-cig:

ecig- video

There are many brands available and its a jungle, but I found a really good one. I tell you my American friends were very excited and had never seen one.

But some like my neighbour who smokes 2 packs everyday - in spite of having COLD and asthma, could not get used to them. She coughed everytime - more than smoking real cigarettes, so she puffs on.

Get well and good luck on Quitting.



Edited by Niels (12/10/08 08:04 AM)
Edit Reason: privacy-trust issues-post deleted
_________________________
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#263047 - 11/21/08 09:55 PM Re: Important update..... [Re: Niels]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Logan,

I'm glad that you are OK.

Do you have any idea what your allergens are?

Allen = pufferfish whistle


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#263593 - 11/24/08 02:10 PM Re: Important update..... [Re: pufferfish]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Allen, I am going to see an Immunologist tomorrow and hopefully find out what alot of them are, at least the main ones.

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#263621 - 11/24/08 04:23 PM Re: Important update..... [Re: Logan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Some of my allergens seem to be related to my CSA.

I didn't realize this until well into my recovery period. When I was abused in the scout camp, the only food I was given was a peanut butter sandwich. The last food I ate before that was a butterfinger candy bar. Before that, I had scrambled eggs and bacon with all the other scouts for breakfast.

So what am I allergic to?

peanut butter
butterfinger candy bars (cause immediate rectal contraction)
eggs
pork products

Does anybody else have abuse - related allergies that you know of?

Allen = pufferfish whistle


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