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#262847 - 11/20/08 09:31 AM Marriage Failing
ceegee Offline


Registered: 11/14/08
Posts: 21
Loc: WV, USA
My marriage seems to be falling apart. I can't blame her. I am so closed off emotionally. I don't even want to make love anymore. But we still love each other. We aren't yelling and screaming all the time, just disconnected. She is an abuse victim too.
I didn't marry until I was 50. I was so introverted, I never had any serious girlfriends in all that time. All those wasted years of loneliness and depression. And now that I have someone, I am pushing her away. That she has stayed with me for 7 years is a miracle.
At first, our relationship was what I would consider normal. It was volatile at times as we learned to live wiht one another. But our sex life was good. I don't know what happened to trigger this regression on my part.
Oddly, part of me wants to be alone, to do my own thing. But I was miserable with that life, and I know I will miss her terribly if she goes. And I worry about her too. She is very fragile emotionally. I wish I could break out of this emotional prison.



Edited by ceegee (11/20/08 01:22 PM)
_________________________
Sometimes we need to pause in our pursuit of happiness, and just BE happy- Author unknown

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#262945 - 11/20/08 08:33 PM Re: Marriage Failing [Re: ceegee]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5777
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
CG:
This is not a "do it yourself" job. You need a competent professional to help you through this difficulty. You can look at the therapist resource directory to see if there is someone nearby who can help but if there is no one, you may want to contact someone who is familiar with sexual abuse issues.

You can check out www.rainn.org to see if there is a sexual abuse therapist who can help you with these issues.


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#262951 - 11/20/08 09:20 PM Re: Marriage Failing [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi ceegee,

Sorry to hear this is going on in your life right now. Unfortunately, a lost of childhood abuse survivors suffer through marriage problems as well. Ken has good advice above in seeking some professional help to aid in dealing with this. Is your wife open to seeking some marriage counseling? Having an impartial person there to hear you both could help you listen to each other to hear what the other is saying.

Also, welcome to the MS site. I'm glad you found this place, it's a great resource in your healing journey.

Eddie

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Eddie

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#262994 - 11/21/08 08:35 AM Re: Marriage Failing [Re: EGL]
ceegee Offline


Registered: 11/14/08
Posts: 21
Loc: WV, USA
Thanks for the advice. We both have been in therapy for several months, but not together. Our previous therapists were ineffective and their supervising physician was a "robot" who just read from a>
_________________________
Sometimes we need to pause in our pursuit of happiness, and just BE happy- Author unknown

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