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#262713 - 11/19/08 02:53 PM Still having nightmares
88SEAN88 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/23/07
Posts: 19
Loc: queensland, australia




Edited by 88SEAN88 (04/19/09 07:50 AM)
_________________________
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#262716 - 11/19/08 03:09 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: 88SEAN88]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Please, don't feel sorry for your post. You have a very legitimate reason to be feeling the way you do. Perhaps by telling you about my nightmares, it may be helpful to you.

I too have nightmares, 2 to 3 times a week. I wake up screaming and in a cold sweat. These started over a year ago for me. I fully understand what you are going through and how you dread going to sleep.

I attended a trauma/therapy six week class to help in dealing with nightmares. It did help some and although, the nightmares do continue, I have learned how to "ground" myself when I wake up. Anything I do b/4 bedtime does not help or hinder the nightmares. I can have an awesome day or a bad day and that night the nightmares are still there.

I am set up for EMDR therapy that will start next week. My T seems to think that this might help me.

It is good that you do have a partner with you. I am also blessed to have my partner to hold me and make me feel safe.

I hope in time the nightmares will lessen for both of us.

Hopefully you will get some positive feedback on your topic.

Determination will prevail! Hang in there!

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#262984 - 11/21/08 01:45 AM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: KENKEN]
88SEAN88 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/23/07
Posts: 19
Loc: queensland, australia
Thanks Ken. I really appreciate your response. I was, and am, just so tired of re-experiencing the sa over and over again.

I do hope, for both our sakes, that they subside in time with therapy and dealing with the trauma.

kindest regards,
sean

_________________________
...

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#263014 - 11/21/08 11:41 AM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: 88SEAN88]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
Nightmares are still hounting me...sometimes I cna't go balk to sleep..It sucks


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#263016 - 11/21/08 12:03 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: sunwolf]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
Hey, guys,

Firstly, I do not think anyone needs to apologize for things that come up...if the same thing comes up over and over, well, that must mean it is important and what is going on for ya. That is the whole point of this place.

The nightmares, in a word, suck, uh? Seriously.

When they were really bad, yea, I could not get back to sleep right away, it was just a waste of time to try. So, I'd get up, wander around, then...after a while, go back to bed.

If we are dragging things out...maybe for the first time in our lives and, even if it isn't, there are going to be ripples. Not unlike throwing a stone out into the lake. The larger the stone, the larger the ripples.

And, you got to admit, we are playing with boulders, uh? Big ripples, emotional stuff, important stuff. Stuff that we may have hidden or kept secret for a very long time.

Letting it out into the light, for me, makes it real. When it is real, I can, through the help of a lot of different sources, find solutions for these things and work through them.

In the process though, we are turning and churning it all up...and, our dreams seem to be a way of processing the stuff we encounter during the day. So, yea, the nightmares suck.

Several things helped me, oddly...a thunderstorm CD that I put in right as I go to sleep. Or, a meditation CD or tape. Rain, very simply falling is relaxing, too.

All the regular things yo hear, too...not eating too close to bedtime, no caffiene, making sure you are tired, however ridiculous that might sound. Working out helped me, too.

Hopefully, as the things are worked through, the nightmares will become less intrusive...


:-)


Dave

_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#263018 - 11/21/08 12:43 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: 88SEAN88]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i rarely dream, but last spring i had a nightmare of my abuse and that brought me back to male survivor after being away for several years.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#263020 - 11/21/08 01:26 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: Sans Logos]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
88SEAN88 and Mark

Bad dreams are fairly common to us as survivors. There is some wise advice offered in the previous posts. Some day soon I will post separately the content of the terrible nightmares I had after abuse.

The brain is kind of like an onion. I don't mean smelly but that we can think of it as having layers. Your mind is actually a very big place. If you know something of how computer technology puts a lot of information on a single chip, then multiply that information by a billion and you have an idea of the complexity of your mind. Some of the bad stuff about abuse is hidden in inner layers and we may have trouble finding what's there and bringing peace to it.

Some techniques that you might try:

Deep Meditation. You might have to work with this a bit before you get so you can use it. Basically, you get in a quiet, darkened place, usually alone. If you have a close friend there, they should sit very quietly in the background, out of sight. If you get in too deep they can pull you out. Talk silently or softly to yourself. Construct in your mind (you can write it if it helps) an agenda of where you want to go in the meditation. Don't start with the real bad dream. Gradually work up to that. Then you focus your mind on something pleasant and serene. It might be a picture. Just dwell there for a while. Some like to have a seed thought, like: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Don't be in a hurry. Then gradually move to the scene of your abuse. It might be helpful to follow a mental path to the scene, like walking down a path or driving down a street. Visualize the place only. Then ask yourself to gradually visualize the people. Don't get into the emotions until you feel safe doing this. Then gradually move into the feelings of abuse. Watch out here. Put some limits on it so that you don't have a bad trip. The limit could be a time limit or just telling yourself you are going to just dip your toe into the water a little bit and then come back out. Have some victory thoughts available, maybe written down, to reteach the hurting or the fearful spot in your mind. Leave a mental road map for getting back there later. Close with following the road map in reverse. Then think of the serene, placid place again. Then you're through. If you use music it should be soft and gentle and not distracting.

Other techniques require a T to help you:

Deep relaxation - hypnotism

EMDR

I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes.

Allen

aka pufferfish whistle


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#265126 - 12/04/08 12:37 AM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: 88SEAN88]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
I've been experiencing the same thing in the past week. All of your posts are quite helpful and, if nothing else, reassuring that I'm not the only one who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, shaking and covered in sweat.
88SEAN88, I hope your nightmares subside and wish you well. Perhaps some day soon we will both have a peaceful night's msleep. smile (My wife would be quite grateful for that!)

lars

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#265144 - 12/04/08 03:28 AM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: 88SEAN88]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Originally Posted By: 88SEAN88
I apologise for this rant.

I even feel guilty that all I do here is suck up everybody's time by posting complaints about myself.




Posting complaints about yourself is what we do here! No need to apologize. I have the same problem and I feel bad because wake up other people and usually freak them out. I haven't found the cure yet, but as long as I haven't tried everything there's still hope.


_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#265192 - 12/04/08 11:52 AM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: blueshift]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
i have been sleeping poorly, i think it is also because i am unwell, i have the flu i think, or a fever of somekind. my body temperature wont regulate itself. i woke up every 5 minutes for a number of hours and had lots of dreams in which i was unable to move or shout out loud. i have lots of work to do but i have a headache and go between being very cold and very hot, having cold sweats or my teeth chattering even under layers of blankets. i have slept today instead of going to university (i went to the bus stop but felt that if i went into uni i wouldn't have made it home and would have had to get a doctor there) and i need to do my work soon in a minute otherwise i will be in deep deep trouble. i often have dreams where i cant move or shout, and sometimes i think i am awake because it is as if i have my eyes open and can see the room and part of my body as if i am awake with my eyes open, but when i actually wake i find that it was a dream because my room looks different.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#265195 - 12/04/08 12:02 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: king tut]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.


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#265198 - 12/04/08 12:10 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: steveb121]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
hey thanks! i will read through that

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#265213 - 12/04/08 01:18 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: steveb121]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Thanks Steve! I have tried some of those ideas but not all of them. Maybe that dream journal thing might b worth a try!


_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#265298 - 12/04/08 09:53 PM Re: Still having nightmares [Re: blueshift]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Thanks Steve-
Once again, wonderful to see and have yet more resources for support, from someone who understands. It can't be anything but good, to have as many of us as vocal and proactive as possible; the overriding theme (which crtainly applied to me upon stumbling across MS) which strikes me, is how relieved newcomers are to realize they aren't alone...

I'd be lying if i said i didn't still have a long way to go, but at least today i understand that (for myself, at least) it's important to attempt to maintain a clear vision of "the balancing act" of realism; one the one hand, i can be far crueller and unforgiving, of the person i happen to be today- yet also leap instantaneously, emotionally speaking, to a position of sourness, bitterness, self-righteousness, and "professional victimhood" which helps no one, especially myself. It can be a tangled knot, indeed; but thanks to the help i've found here, i no longer feel like my only options are to ignore it entirely, or to choose an ultimately unsatisfactory Gordian approach....
We must be gentle, yet firm, with ourselves i think.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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