Newest Members
Robert Barrett, lostsoul824, beatcook, MassGuy, wiresguy1
12278 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
4113 (60), Andre M, (36), catchup22 (62), jim OCA 7 (57), sidhearthur (55), SkyClad (65)
Who's Online
8 registered (Bluedogone, 6 invisible), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12278 Members
73 Forums
63171 Topics
441736 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >
Topic Options
#267975 - 12/19/08 04:57 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: BroKen5]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Members of clergy, no matter of which religion, are people who make their living telling other people how they should live. If the concepts generally make sense, people are more than willing to accept whatever advice or instructions clergy give them as "the right thing to do". People are understandably (and in my opinion, righteously) indignant when one of these individuals literally fails to practice what he preaches.

Ted Haggard, like many others of his ilk, have spent all kinds of time and energy explaining how sinful and deserving of contempt homosexuality is. This isn't about this man getting slammed for private, personal problems; it's about a hypocrite being hoisted on his own petard - nothing more or less.



Edited by melliferal (12/19/08 04:58 PM)
_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

Top
#268008 - 12/19/08 09:17 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: Tinman]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Tinman
Haggard is a pig who betrayed his wife and kids and then tries to justify it away. Hypocrite!...
What I am grossly offended by is his attempt to justify his actions because of this alleged molestation. What is that? A get out of jail free card for any actions a victim takes? Most of us survivors never hurt others and blame our past. I am responsible for my actions! So is this dog. (Bolding added by Rob Brown


QUESTION: Would Haggard be welcome here at MS?

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

Top
#268014 - 12/19/08 10:11 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: Still]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
I don't have much respect for Mr.Haggard or follow his ministry.
But let us remember: "Let him with no sin cast the first stone".

Rob,if he truely is a survivor I would welcome him.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

Top
#268026 - 12/19/08 11:46 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: Still]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
QUESTION: Would Haggard be welcome here at MS?


i guess he would to the same extent that everyone else is or isn't welcome here.

now let's resist the temptation to ask for a show of hands!

wink

on a more serious note, i'm sure he is far too busy rebuilding his image and his family's trust to hang out in our web community.

if he were to come here, he would probably bring out both the best and the worst of the community.

it would most likely occasion an intense cleansing experience for the people of our community.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#268031 - 12/20/08 01:01 AM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: Sans Logos]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Is the reason for the marginal welcome just the fact that he points to his abuse as a reason or explanation for his acting out?

Maybe its the nature of his former source of income?

Maybe because he was a pastor?

Maybe its because pastors don't qualify for a CSA survivor's symptoms and resulting sex-abuse ramifications?

Its funny. I recall reading something here about people acting-out on occasion (maybe quite a bit more that "on occasion")

I seem to recall plenty of MS members citing drug use "as a result of dealing with their CSA."

If the marginal welcome is because he's a pastor, let's work on a list of occupations that qualify a survivor/victim to point to their abuse as an explanation for behavior.

If you re-read the original article, i truly don't think you'll see that he points to the CSA as and excuse, but rather an explanation.

I see this site...his own kind...his own people...hurling stones at his head. It makes me want to puke.

I had better check my past to see if I'll be acceptable here.

Maybe this website will create a list of acceptable sins for survivors.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

Top
#268063 - 12/20/08 08:52 AM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: BroKen5]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Quote:
I am a pastor and there are times that it is tough to stay on top of my own feelings, emotions, and disires. At the same time deal with everyone else's problems. We live in a world to where everyone is allowed to have problems/issues except for a pastor.


A while ago, I heard someone note that psychologists, therapists have all kinds of safeguards and support for helping troubled people. They have "supervision" (therapists for the therapists if they need it), and "good boundaries" meaning very limited, prescribed contact. No calls in the night or urgent meetings.

Pastors and clergy have nothing like this and it seems to be like a setup for all sorts of trouble: burnout, failures and even abuse.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#268085 - 12/20/08 12:52 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: LandOfShadow]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: LandOfShadow
Quote:
I am a pastor and there are times that it is tough to stay on top of my own feelings, emotions, and disires. At the same time deal with everyone else's problems. We live in a world to where everyone is allowed to have problems/issues except for a pastor.


A while ago, I heard someone note that psychologists, therapists have all kinds of safeguards and support for helping troubled people. They have "supervision" (therapists for the therapists if they need it), and "good boundaries" meaning very limited, prescribed contact. No calls in the night or urgent meetings.

Pastors and clergy have nothing like this and it seems to be like a setup for all sorts of trouble: burnout, failures and even abuse.



That's interesting. I'm guessing its likely true in the broad pastoral market. In NH, the pastors of ALL sorts of Christian Denominations do have accountability and support groups that meet with great regularity.

I do know that they will flat out say "you are wrong on this Phil, because of this ethos, or that cannon of justice, or cuz yer just being a jerk."

Honestly, if Haggert and others around the globe have no acctblty grps or such, I feel badly for them.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

Top
#268091 - 12/20/08 02:42 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as child" [Re: WalkingSouth]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I think that true survivors, do not become predators.
Abuse can never be an excuse for predatory behaviour.

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#268097 - 12/20/08 03:54 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as chi [Re: reality2k4]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
I see a man trapped in what he believes to be a sin. And being unable to fight it. He warns others against it - but still falls into it. If this makes him a hypocrite and unworthy of our sympathy or understanding ...

No more sermons on lies - unless you can find a pastor who has never told one

A lot fewer on adultery - "for if a man thinks it in his heart, he is already guilty"

What about AA meetings? How many people have stood up and warned others against the "evils" of drunkedness - then gone out on a binge. Dang hypocrites - should ban them from the meetings!

NA, SA ... I guess nobody should be telling anybody anything about what might be right or wrong until they get perfect first.

There could be a silver lining - no more people telling me acting out might be bad for me...

I just wish we would end this diatribe against a good man.


Top
#268103 - 12/20/08 04:27 PM Re: Disgraced pastor Haggard: "I was abused as child" [Re: reality2k4]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: reality2k4
I think that true survivors, do not become predators.
Abuse can never be an excuse for predatory behaviour.



There's no discussion of Haggard being a perp. None at all.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

Top
Page 3 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >


Moderator:  Chase Eric, ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.