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#262750 - 11/19/08 08:53 PM Re: What would you do in my situation? [Re: Bewlayb1]
Peter 1950 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 51
Loc: Atlanta
Nonchalant,
Who knows whether this helps at all, but I've been married for 36 years. Never intended to marry, but the right person found me during my senior year in college. I'd been abused by a minister as a kid, and since the experience was so shameful to me, I rejected thoughts of being gay. Didn't know what I was other than defective, and I was determined not to mess up any other kids. Therefore, I wasn't getting married and I wasn't having any kids. My future wife talked me out of all that.
Four years ago, I finally told her that I was attracted to men. She was shocked, and we're still working through all of it. Our relationship now is stronger than ever, partly because I've never been unfaithful.
Would sex with a man be wonderful? Maybe, if I loved the man. I do have best friend who lives far away and knows the entire story. We are together (but platonic) once or twice a year for a day or two at a time, and those are the times when I feel the best. I can be honest. I can be myself. Not a single sentence needs to be edited. I love those days. The freedom and acceptance are wonderful.
I hope you find your way to a life that is fulfilling for you.
Peter


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#265371 - 12/05/08 09:01 AM Re: What would you do in my situation? [Re: nonchalant]
MichaeldR Offline


Registered: 12/02/08
Posts: 36
Loc: South Carolina
Dear Nonchalant:

I'm not sure what a "romantic relationship" means.

Many of my trust relationships are with women, even if I'm gay.

I usually choose women physicians and my current therapist is a woman.

I have friendships with men and they are completely different than my friendships with women.

But the least hint of negativity towards gay or Jewish people or bigoty of any sort and i totally cut them off.

_________________________
Mike

My mantras:

Easy Does I - - - - - - Lą oł il y a la vie il y a l'espoir.
One Day At A Time - - - Lą oł il y a l'espoir: la vie.
First Things First- - - Where there's life there's hope.
LIVE and Let Live - - - Where there is hope: life.

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#265969 - 12/08/08 05:34 PM Re: What would you do in my situation? [Re: MichaeldR]
nonchalant Offline


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 42
Loc: Northern Ireland, UK
If i was in a relationship and there wasn't going to be any sexual activity, i would rather it was with a woman

Therefore, i look upon any homo-sexual desires i may have as simply a sexual preference rather than my identity

That's what i mean by preferring romantic relationships with women



Edited by nonchalant (12/08/08 05:35 PM)

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