I, too, was sexualized at a very early age. I've always been sexually attracted to men and women.
My therapist asked me in my last session how I see myself, given that we'd been talking about my dating girls in high school and some later. I suppose I've always seen myself as bi-sexual. That's because, to me, that refers to sex. I told him I identify myself as gay because I find myself more emotionally attracted to men. They are two different things to me.
I've been with my male partner for almost 27 years now. But, I don't rule out the possibility that, if this relationship were to end, I might meet a woman I wanted to be with. Relationships aren't about sex. I would hope a good relationship would involve sex, but if that's all there is, it doesn't last long. That's certainly my experience at any rate.
When I got sober at 50, I went through a short period where I asked myself if I was even gay. After all, I came out at the same time I started to drink. Well, that didn't last long. Truth is, I knew I was more attracted to men than women long before I started to drink.
Of course, the amazing thing about it all to me is that I don't particularly like men. Well, perhaps it's that I'm afraid of them, given the abuse as a child. But I'm working on that.
So, bottom line, I don't like labels unless I'm using them on myself. I'm pretty sure I didn't want to be gay way back then either. It wasn't just inconvenient, it was dangerous. As I've gotten older, I simply don't care whether others like my being gay. Their problem, not mine.
All I care about is trying to find a place within me to be happy. I only fight with you about being gay, straight, bisexual, etc. when I don't like myself. Well, I still don't like myself all the time, but it's getting better.
Only you can do it, but you cannot do it alone.