Newest Members
Jerone, teba, Serpenta, mojo, James M
12114 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
archie chisholm (61), Carlos418 (37), courtney (52), kurotake (55), lostsoul (63), Lukesgirl (28), michael banks (2014), Steffon (42)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 58 Guests and 11 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12114 Members
73 Forums
62510 Topics
438087 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#262446 - 11/18/08 09:21 AM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: siranthonysghost]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
I seldom say sorry now, because I watch what i say and watch how it could affect me

That doesn't mean that I don't say sorry when I'm in the wrong, but I refuse to apologise for breathing, living and walking, and no one will make me feel less than adequate that I could have, but that has lost it's power now.

I have a right to be heard, to be paid attention to and applauded for what I do, because I do what I do extremely well, and avoid doing the crap things.

I have mates who do those things for me, because they're good at that, and by not doing it myself, I stay OK

'Rock on' guys and don't feel less than others, because it's your right to speak and say what you feel is yours alone, so use it wisely and grow with it

Ramble over....

_________________________
www.amsosa.com

Top
#262482 - 11/18/08 03:03 PM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: steveb121]
theraven Offline


Registered: 11/08/08
Posts: 34
Loc: US of A
I think 30yearson may be onto something...
maybe it will be easier to stop apologizing unnecessarily once we are able to forgive ourselves.

hmmmm


Top
#262484 - 11/18/08 03:29 PM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: theraven]
michaelmovies Offline


Registered: 11/06/08
Posts: 21
Loc: Long Beach, CA, USA
I just realized last night just how much I say "I'm sorry" ... and how much my wife and family have caught on to it. I can't make a real apology for my actions anymore, because at some level they believe that's just my experience kicking in ... so as an adult it becomes very hard to make real amends for something I've done wrong in my life and relationships.

_________________________
"Because the stars won't reach for us ..."

Top
#262500 - 11/18/08 05:24 PM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: theraven]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK





Top
#262502 - 11/18/08 05:45 PM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: steveb121]
siranthonysghost Offline


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 24
Loc: Hawaii
Michaelmovies,

You hit a nerve with me on that last post. I feel like I am also unable to form real apologies as well, because so much of my life was simply saying the word without the full meaning, or understanding the meaning. I think another, and perhaps harder, question is: how often do we say "I love you" and really mean it.


Top
#262511 - 11/18/08 06:21 PM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: siranthonysghost]
michaelmovies Offline


Registered: 11/06/08
Posts: 21
Loc: Long Beach, CA, USA
All I know is when I say "I love you" I mean it like I mean "Thank You" ... it hurts to say something so big and so hard and know that the person receiving it doesn't understand just how much I mean it.

_________________________
"Because the stars won't reach for us ..."

Top
#262828 - 11/20/08 07:05 AM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: michaelmovies]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1866
Loc: durham, north england
Actually it's great to read this topic, sinse I always thought chronic appologitus was something more or less unique to me, given a combination of my opinion of my self, my lack of site, and my belief that anyone who even does anything for me is being incredibly tolerant.

the bit about someone crossing my path and me appologising, ---- wow! I did that about 20 minutes ago when walking through the street.

It's a bit of a standing joke with some of my close friends, that if I'm ever upset, I spend about half an hour being upset, and an hour appologising! And the worst thing? i actually feel! sorry!

the really odd thing is, though I am naturally quite shy, I can actually talk to most people, but the second they say something, ---- it doesn't even have to be a cryticism, just a disagreement with my opinions, i start appologising!

In fact one thing that's really helpful in talking to my counceler is that she is paid to be there, so it's not required that I apologise to her or feel guilty about taking up her time.


Top
#262985 - 11/21/08 01:51 AM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: dark empathy]
88SEAN88 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/23/07
Posts: 19
Loc: queensland, australia
This is a great thread! I'm guilty of this, and my Therapist now has banned me from saying sorry ... she chastises me every time I do.

_________________________
...

Top
#262986 - 11/21/08 01:52 AM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: michaelmovies]
88SEAN88 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/23/07
Posts: 19
Loc: queensland, australia
Originally Posted By: michaelmovies
All I know is when I say "I love you" I mean it like I mean "Thank You" ... it hurts to say something so big and so hard and know that the person receiving it doesn't understand just how much I mean it.


Oh, and I really identify with this! Thanks Michael!

_________________________
...

Top
#262993 - 11/21/08 08:33 AM Re: How often do you say, "I'm sorry?" [Re: 88SEAN88]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 10946
Loc: Denver, CO
Dave,

Good topic. I recall a time when I would say I was sorry for just about anything, and people could convince me it was my fault! My self-image and self-respect were so low I could have been convinced I was the sole cause of the civil war, and would have apologized. These days, when someone comes up to me around a corner and very fast, I either say "pardon" or let them say it for a change. That took a long time to put into place.


Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
Page 3 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.