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#260194 - 11/05/08 04:21 PM Re: sex [Re: Niels]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Quote:
Most men here are supportive of gay guys, but this attempt to coerce stragiht guys to bend over backwards in the name of political correctness is UNFAIR.


From this queer to that straight guy, I couldn't agree more. Not every damn thing is a Gay issue nor about nor against Gays!!! No wonder I only have straight friends. Militantism becomes so wearying after a while......

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#260196 - 11/05/08 04:57 PM Re: sex [Re: joelRT]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
Excactly Joel - You got my point. I do not want to make a big deal out of this or argue. I just wanted to point this out. I already think that this forum does a lot to make GBT members feel included and safe here, which is great.

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I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#260198 - 11/05/08 05:35 PM Re: sex [Re: Niels]
A C Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/31/05
Posts: 13
Loc: Missouri
Have this a gay he would say "Don't like fish, and won't go near a place that servers it!" Fish is the main course. It's that way at some cafes.


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#260204 - 11/05/08 06:04 PM Re: sex [Re: A C]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Niels,

If you took the time to read my posts, you will realize that I never have "bashed" anyone here on MS, straight or gay. There is no double standard on my part!

I'm sorry for you that you took it that way.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#260206 - 11/05/08 06:30 PM Re: sex [Re: KENKEN]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
Then perhaps you would care to explain:

-who you were referring to when you say "We"?

-Why did you ask "I wonder why "we" were left out!!".

Who are "We".?

_________________________
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#260214 - 11/05/08 08:45 PM Re: sex [Re: Niels]
ModTeam Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 691
This thread was started with a statement by Lewis for Lewis and about Lewis' life; Lewis happens to be straight so the statement was posed that way. There is no gay/straight issue, just a question. So please don't hijack an important conversation with an argument that doesn't even apply.




Edited by ModTeam (11/05/08 08:56 PM)

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#261279 - 11/12/08 10:41 AM Re: sex [Re: ModTeam]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Yeah, enough with hijack. Own it and make a new thread...

I find all the role stuff for men makes things really difficult for me, and other survivors so I hear. It's so hard for us to deal with our abuse issues, and then we get all this "your supposed to" crap from everyone.

All this, your supposed to want sex all the time, and initiate everything. Sex is very scary to me. One person being the actor to someone passive (either way) triggers fears of abuse. I feel like a perpetrator if I make all the moves, and the victim if she does. And men can't be victims so they think. And any time I'm not doing "what I'm supposed to" it brings up all that "something must be wrong with me" stuff. I just want to run and hide and never see them again.

So, I think our sexual partners often unwittingly make it worse. And, I don't want to try to explain all my abuse and why it leads me to have these feelings. Go get a clue yourself! Like, read a book or something! It's hard, but I have to stick up for what I feel alone, and if people don't let me have my feelings in peace, I say goodbye. You don't really care about ME.

But I have and do meet people who drop the role BS and listen to me, accept me and try to understand. Lewis, it all is extremely unfair. Here you'll get support, and I think you could find someone who will respect your feelings and wishes. Let her know you want to take it super, super slow. That is really OK.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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