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#259847 - 11/03/08 06:53 AM Sorry for missing the Healing Circle
beakin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/13/08
Posts: 44
Loc: Texas
Hi, all:

I signed up to be part of the Healing Circle, then wondered why I did that. But, I'd planned to join in last night to see what it's all about. I'm not familiar with chat, but thought I could figure it out pretty quickly.

Unfortunately, shortly before it was to begin, I was hit with a severe vertigo attack. It's cronic and I've had it for 15 years now. This attack hit in a matter of minutes and left me feeling like the only thing I could do was go to bed.

I'm new in therapy and the feelings are coming at me fast and furious. I don't know from one minute to the next when I might just start crying. Then, the old Ben kicks in and says "don't think about that". Of course, I've done that for so many years. It's just not working very well anymore.

Anyway, a tough day at work ahead today and I'm hoping I can make it through without screaming at anyone.

Hope the Circle went well. I'll try to make it next time.



ben

_________________________
Only you can do it, but you cannot do it alone.

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#259853 - 11/03/08 07:43 AM Re: Sorry for missing the Healing Circle [Re: beakin]
Liri Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor
New Here

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 127
Loc: Seattle, WA
Hey Ben,

I'm sorry you couldn't make it last night. I thought it went well. I look forward to seeing you there next week.

Sorry to hear about the vertigo. That sucks.

The past week my feelings have been all over the place, too. I think it's par for the course.

Take Care,

Liri

_________________________
As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life. --Charles Baudelaire

My Story

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#259900 - 11/03/08 01:32 PM Re: Sorry for missing the Healing Circle [Re: Liri]
beakin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/13/08
Posts: 44
Loc: Texas
Thanks, Liri, feeling a little better now. It's been crazy at work all morning, but the vertigo let up some over the morning.

Yep, I also think it's par for the course for my feelings to be all over the map. I just feel sorry for the people around me who have to watch this. I'm lucky, though, that I have some people around me who understand and have patience.

Bottom line, I don't want to feel these feelings. It's why I've buried them repeatedly over the years even after trying to deal with them. It's too tiring to do that anymore. Time to allow myself to go back and figure out what actually happened, not what I told myself happened.

Anyway, thanks again.



ben

_________________________
Only you can do it, but you cannot do it alone.

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#259924 - 11/03/08 05:00 PM Re: Sorry for missing the Healing Circle [Re: beakin]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
beakin,

I do understand "where you are coming from" I so wanted to be apart of this Healing Circle, but the anxiety hit me big time. As much as I know I need this help and support in this part of my healing, I "begged out". I'm starting EMDR tomorrow to help with my nightmares and triggers that continue to haunt me. I used this as an excuse. MY "little guy" was scared and felt "not worthy" to be apart of the group. What I had or would have said, people would think I was so not in reality. Gee, I must be paranoid?

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#259974 - 11/03/08 11:00 PM Re: Sorry for missing the Healing Circle [Re: KENKEN]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Ben, I hope to see you next week! Vertigo... ugh...

Ken, I'm going to leave you on the list so you have the open invitation to come when you are ready. By being on the list, if you show up, I'll remember to get you invited it!

Peace and love guys...

Michael


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