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#259863 - 11/03/08 09:09 AM Today's Hero
Chester Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Long Island, NY
This is from my local newspaper. The police and the public are starting to get it right, guys. This 6 year old boy is my hero right now. He still had his spirit, and he called for help. And help came. Hang in there, guys. Times are changing for the better.

Merrick mom, boyfriend held in beating of boy, 6

BY JENNIFER SINCO KELLEHER

jennifer.kelleher@newsday.com

November 2, 2008

A Merrick woman and her boyfriend have been arrested and charged with assaulting her 6-year-old son with leather belts, Nassau police said yesterday.

A neighbor called 911 saying the boy could be heard screaming for help amid whipping noises for at least 20 minutes on Friday night, said police spokesman Det. Lt. Kevin Smith.

When police arrived at the Meadowbrook Road address, they knocked on the door and called the apartment's telephone but got no answer, Smith said. Eventually, emergency services officers broke down the door and found the boy crying in a bedroom, with cuts and bruises on his leg, buttocks and groin area, Smith said.

The boy's mother, Jessica Muniz, 29, and her boyfriend, Anthony Badalamenti, 31, were also inside the apartment. They were arrested and charged with second-degree assault, possession of a dangerous weapon and endangering the welfare of a child, police said.

They are expected to be arraigned in First District Court in Hempstead today.

The boy was taken to Nassau University Medical Center in East Meadow, where he was treated and released to a relative, Smith said.

At a news conference yesterday, police officials showed photos of the boy's leg, which showed red welts.

Officials also displayed a black belt, folded and taped with duct tape, and a white belt without a buckle that they said were found in the apartment and were not used with clothing, Smith said.

Holding up the black belt, he said it was used as "a striking instrument, obviously."

Badalamenti told police he's a self-employed personal trainer, Smith said, while Muniz said she's unemployed. Neither has a criminal history, Smith said.

Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.


I know this isn't specifically CSA, but physical abuse isn't exclusive of CSA. My Mom did both, and I know I'm not alone. My welts and bruises have faded, thankfully.

--Dave

_________________________
rock: left pocket

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#259866 - 11/03/08 09:21 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: Chester]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Blessedly, yes, times are changing. My mother made her boyfriend use a razor strop on me. One yard long and four inches wide double sewn leather. My bedroom window was wide open and , yes, I screamed and, no, NO ONE came.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#259906 - 11/03/08 02:12 PM Re: Today's Hero [Re: joelRT]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
My dad's favorite weapon when I was in grade school was one of those wooden paddles with the ball and elastic string stapled to it. One time I hid all of his paddles so he went to the store and bought another one, then angrily ripped the elastic string and ball away from the paddle and got down to business, so to speak. By my teenage years his favorite weapon was his fists. His physical abuse of me came to grief one Sunday at the Ponderosa Steakhouse, when he discovered the hard way that I had him on reach, and that at 16 & 1/2, 6'5" and 175 lbs I was in better physical shape then he was as an out-of-shape overweight office worker at the age of 45. His emotional abuse of me continued through his late-60s though. It was almost a relief when he passed early at the age of 69.

There was lots of yelling and screaming in my old neighborhood, and it seemed that nobody cared.

Years ago in Denver, there was a family that lived across the street, and almost every night there was lots of angry yelling and kids screaming. One night when I was a bit intoxicated I finally got tired of it, put on my black leather, and knocked on their door. One really angry guy who I outweighted by 100 lbs came to the door and I told him that I was tired of hearing it. I told him to come outside but he told me to f**k-off and slammed the door in my face. 15 minutes later the cops showed-up at my house asking me questions. After I told them they told me to call them instead of trying to take matters into my own hands, then they went across the street and eventually left with my angry neighbor sitting in the back seat, which also cut way down on all of the yelling and screaming afterwards.

So it is possible to help if you get tired of all of the noise.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#259915 - 11/03/08 02:57 PM Re: Today's Hero [Re: Trucker51]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
WOW - I am soooo glad that this boy got help!!!

I know I screamed out much - heck, the neighbors heard it - they even comented to me about it ("you need to be better - not get in so mouch trouble - crap like that") - yet none of them ever helped

Quote:
I know this isn't specifically CSA, but physical abuse isn't exclusive of CSA.
- in the article - it states that there where indeed
Quote:
cuts and bruises on his leg, buttocks and groin area, Smith said.
spanking to the groin area can indeed be sexual abuse... - my own mother did that to me once when I was stupid enough to spin around to try to get her to stop - was it sexual abuse? - I don't know... but if it's not - it's the very next closest thing to it...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#259928 - 11/03/08 06:00 PM Re: Today's Hero [Re: TJ jeff]
Chester Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Long Island, NY
Originally Posted By: TJ jeff
spanking to the groin area can indeed be sexual abuse... - my own mother did that to me once when I was stupid enough to spin around to try to get her to stop - was it sexual abuse? - I don't know... but if it's not - it's the very next closest thing to it...


Good point. I can't believe I missed it. Just goes to show you how much further I still have to go. I have to continually reframe my childhood knowing now, what I didn't know then. It's a continuous kick in the stomach.

Remember the GI-Joe rubber boa constrictor? Not the little GI-Joes, but the 12-inch guys with fuzz for hair. There was a hard rubber snake, about 12-18 inches long with a wire running through the middle of it so you could bend it. Mom only used it on me once as she preferred the wooden spoon. The snake made a whipping sound, and left some crazy welts, too. I destroyed it the 1st chance I could. At 9, it was the longest and worst beating I ever had, the only beating I didn't cry for, and the only thing my mother has ever apologized for.

For just a second, reading this story, I imagined the police coming to my rescue that day. smile

On a side note, I think this story made it to CNN, since the guy was a personal trainer on the Biggest Loser. What a douche.

--Dave

_________________________
rock: left pocket

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#259986 - 11/04/08 01:09 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: Chester]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
no prob Dave - it'd be real easy to miss (unless it happened to you)(and even then I still to this day don't exactly know whether to call it sexual abuse or just physical abuse gone crazy)

yeah, I actualy do remember that boa - my friend up the hill had one - I'm real sorry your mother used it on you the way she did - you was real strong to not cry at only 9 years old

it took me till I was almost 13 to stop crying durring moms beatings - funny how they tapered off so fast after I learned to not move or make a sound - not funny though how to this very day she still proclaims that she never did anything werong in disciplining me

yeah, I too wish the police would have came to my rescue - but the folks had me so scared of the police that there is just no way I ever could have went to them

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#259990 - 11/04/08 07:16 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: TJ jeff]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
.



Edited by ttoon (11/16/08 10:20 AM)
_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#259993 - 11/04/08 07:29 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: TJ jeff]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
TJ Jeff,

Your not alone, man, My mother too denies ever having physically harmed me when I was a kid. So, being stipped naked at the age of ten and forced to lie on her bed where she proceeded to whip me from head to toe, front and back with a green rubber double folded skipping rope? Never happened, according to her I made it all up. Oh, kids and their imaginations, huh?

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#260005 - 11/04/08 09:04 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: joelRT]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Well I'm glad that someone surely saved that boy. My mother beat the crap out of me with anything that was handy, my sister had one of those doll cradels which was made of wooden slats, well my mother used to peel off those slats and beat the crap out of me until they broke. I screamed, but I NEVER CRIED, she threw knives at me, sure glad that they missed. When I was in that orphanage/Home the instrument for disciplinary actions was a bamboo stick (we called it a rattan), usually across the finger tips, it sure hurt, I screamed, but I NEVER CRIED,and I got it often being I was an undisclipened kid, the ultimate form of punishment was the dreaded paddle, not your ordinary paddle, but one with a hunk of lead in it, It was administered with "show me the moon" (your bare ass) bending over and touching your toes. I also got that quite often (nothing like being a thick headed young boy) I damn sure did hurt, I screamed and hollered, but I did cry when the Brother was out of sight. Now a days this sort of "discipline" would be considered child abuse, and maybe showing a male your bare ass while he was whacking the hell out of you he got his jollies?? Who knows. Heal well my friends.
Pete (Irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#260033 - 11/04/08 11:13 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: petercorbett]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Dave,

I have 1 brother - 16 months older than I am - I rarely ever talk about him - we are very distant - as a kid he would often place the blame on me for something he had done so as that he would not have to take the beating from mom - the worst beating I ever got was from him burning a citronela candle (becuase he liked the smell) and then shoving it under the couch when mom came downstairs (he did blow it out - but of course the smell was still in the air) - mom freaked out yelling of how we where trying to burn the house down - I can remember that day as clear as it was yesterday - it's burnt into memory so very much - I can even tell you the mighty mouse cartoon that was on TV when she walked in - my brother did not want to be spanked again because he'd just been spanked the day before for something - I can remember mom lining us up side by side bent over bare bottomed against the staircase going upstairs - she beat on us till I finally broke down and said I did it cuase my brother was pleading with me to take the blame - if I'd of only known the beating I was in for that day - I'd of never said I lit the candle... mom actualy broke one of her spanking sticks on me that day (1"x3"x18" sticks used to prop open windows) - only thing that stoped her that day was because I lost control of my bowels and soiled the carpet at the base of the stairs

it's mindblowing to me how a parent can justify doing such to their own child - I can gauruntee you that there is absolutley NOTHING that any kid could ever do to deserve that kind of beating...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#260103 - 11/04/08 10:24 PM Re: Today's Hero [Re: TJ jeff]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
This discussion is hard to read. At times I too experienced some pretty horrific corporal punishment at the hands of my parents, especially my mother.

The most memorable of which occurred one Friday evening when I was 5. I had been told every since I could remember that I was a finicky eater and on this occasion I was having difficulty eating one of the dishes mom had fixed for supper. She lost patience and began to force feed me. The gag reflex kicked in and I threw it up whereupon I was forced to eat the emesis. With that accomplished I was led by the hand to my room, forced to remove my clothes, and whipped with a belt from the backs of my thighs up to my lower back. To add insult to injury I was then forced to kneel beside the bad and ask Jesus to forgive me for being a bad boy.

As Jeff said,
Quote:
it's mindblowing to me how a parent can justify doing such to their own child - I can gauruntee you that there is absolutley NOTHING that any kid could ever do to deserve that kind of beating...

I've never discussed the incident with Mom. I doubt she would even remember it at her age. I do have to say that not long after I began recovery she approached me and very humbly asked my forgiveness for the wrongs she committed against me when I was growing up. I honor that because I know she was sincerely sorry.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#260122 - 11/05/08 12:19 AM Re: Today's Hero [Re: WalkingSouth]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
.



Edited by ttoon (11/16/08 10:18 AM)
_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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