I know there are posts and others here with the same confussions as I am having. What has been bugging me is the feeling of being in a body and not really feeling like I'm connected to it. I'm aware of some of the things it does and feels but have sense of not knowing what to do with it. I feel like a dog that found a bone to chew on and now that I have it, I'm clueless as what to do with it. My connection seems to be okay on a physical level. I know somethings I want out of life but really don't know how to get there.
Lately I have had strong feelings of attraction to very good looking women but I can't figure out how to get from where I'm at to where they are to make the first move in talking to them.
This also has happened on other subjects like friends mentioning someday there will be little juniors running around. I want kids and a wife but I can't figure out who's body this is that I'm in. I feel like I'm allowed to use this body but didn't get the title or owner's manual to go with it. I can see some of point b from where I am but don't know how to get there from point a. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, most of the time it doesn't make sense to me either. Any thoughts or insights as to what is really going on?

Nevrgan,

I understand how you are feeling.
For most of my life I was too busy just surviving the effects of my abuse. To be present enought to learn the skills neccesary to deal and live in the real world.
As we progress in our recovery we learn these skills that we missed as children.
People here will post on things that you are dealing with and you will learn from them and those who reply.
There are workshops and classes in most communities dealing with recovery issues.(Churches and such)
Also there are recovery and 12 step groups that maybe of value to you.
And sometimes you just have to risk taking on new behaviors to learn.

Remember to have patience with yourself it takes time to recover and find out who you really are.

Best wishes to you
pm me if I can be of any help.

Mike

*** this might be triggering... ***

To be in your body is a great gift that you can give back to yourself. I am an acupuncturist and surprisingly a lot of patients that see me are survivors of s.a. Through my own personal growth in recovery I too had.. well probably still have.. mind/body blockages. I think most survivors of abuse, especially s.a. experience this.

Just reflecting we can think up lots of reasons why we generated this survival mechanism... poor body image... armouring in physical memories of abuse that would be released into our conciousness if we don't maintain our blockages...shame... the list goes on.

Anyway... we can recover through this too. I know that through "energy work"... like acupuncture or shiatsu or reiki (lots more)... if you have a trustworthy therapist great strides can be made. You will know when the time is right and if this is a good step for you.

Feel free to pm me if you (or anyone) has any questions... I honour you in your recovery

namaste
aleph