Things have happened in the last 24 hours that have left me feeling that I cannot share here and be safe.

I need time to regroup and re-evaluate whether this is a good thing for me or not.

In my nearly five year odyssey of recovery, this is the first time where I have felt under attack and feeling like I have to second guess everything I say.

This is not a result of anything the mods have said or done. On the contrary, they have been very supportive.

I tried to address this earlier today and I guess i failed miserably. I am having a hard time trying not to beat myself up for not being perfect in this.

If I don't return, I wish all of you the hope and recovery I have been lucky enough to find. I just guess I am not recovered enough to let this roll off my back like water off a duck. I will make it. I know that. I just need to take care of Paul.

I love you guys!

Paul

Please don't let this stuff keep people like me who need u from getting the help we need. I understand your feelings and if you have to take a break, I don't blame u a bit, but I don't know if I can afford to loose you entirely.

You have been too much support 4 me! Please don't stay away. I will b here no matter what kind of storms pass through b cuz I know there are friends like u here no matter what. But if all the people who ARENT attacking other survivors leave..

We gotta stick together man! there is strength in numbers!

Paul,

It will be a shame to see you go. I agree that you have been a positive influence on me as well.

I truly hope to see you again as you have been a fountain of wisdom in my struggles.

I, too, feel unsafe here. It has seriously restricted my activities on the boards and in chat. I just hope that the people that need to read this understand what is fully happening here.

Brian

Paul,

I don't always post, and will admit in many ways I don't seem to connect to others here in the ways I approach it all. But I actually I do connect with others and their posts, I just sometimes don't engage as such that might show it.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I have seen this previous times since I have been here, and certainly I am seeing it again lately, but these emotional flair-ups happen that of course do make it feel pretty hostile. I try darned hard not to join in. But I get tempted, as I think there is the human nature aspect of wanting to jump in and lash back, to post in these threads. But I pretty much haven't, and that is the way I want it to be unless I truly have something to say.

This site has been of great help to me, and there has been some great support and insight I have gained from others. That has been invaluable. I am opening up emotionally and other good things are happening. But I do understand your concern.

Please do take care of Paul, whatever that takes. As kids we didn't get taken care of on some level (at least by someone), and we didn't have the resources and knowledge of how to do so back then to take care of ourselves. So we need to learn to do that now, with all the aspects of creating healthy boundaries and looking out for our needs. I like what you said above "I will make it. I know that." Seems to me to be a good attitude.

Eric

Hi Paul,

I'm sorry to read that. I was curious, so I read through your previous posts. I'm assuming, though I could be wrong, that someone is sending you PM's that are in some way upsetting. That is troubling. I remember when I first joined, I went into chat and someone sent me a message that made me uncomfortable. I'm still not sure if it was in my head, or if it was actually inappropriate. Nonetheless, I remember feeling a little disillusioned with this site.

That said, I have made mistakes here too. One time, in particular, a new person posted something that I found intolerant and ignorant. Since childhood, I've despised prejudice of any kind. I lost my temper and posted a nasty, vicious reply. I know that I was right, yet I was wrong in doing it. I'm glad I didn't scare him away. I wish I could take it back.

When I read your posts, I get the impression that you are a very decent, sensitive man. I don't know the exact circumstances surrounding your decision, but I'm sad that you're leaving. My experiences on this site haven't always been pleasant, but I believe that the good outweighs the bad.

There are a lot angry people here. There are liars here. There are sickos here. But most people just want to recover, to be happy.

Whether or not you return, I wish you luck.

z

Tinman, You've been a great help to me. I respect your wishes, and I wish you luck in your recovery, Your friend in healing.
Pete (Irishmoose)

Tinman,

I wish you the best.
Your post have always helped me out.
You are man with a great big heart.

Mike

I want to wish you good luck in your journey to heal. I haven't been a member very long and am not sure exactly all that has caused you grief enough to want to leave here. I'm sorry to hear that. I also want to say to you and others that I am sorry if I have said anything that has ever offended anyone . That's not my intention and don't hesitate to tell me. The tongue can be a sharp tool that cuts quickly when used in the wrong way. Your posts as well as others have been very helpful to me and I want to say thank you. Take some time off, but please don't forget that some of us do still care for you.