Congratualtions on being able to tell your wife. That is an accomplishment all its own. As Tinfoil said telling someone you love is a big deal.
What your wife wants to do is help you. Unfortunately many of the ways that people help each other will not be effective with you because the abuse has twisted sme of your wiring. Tell her what she can or cannot do to be there for you. Not to make you feel better, that will take time and work. But do let her know how to support you through your healing, she want to love you but needs your direction on how to express that love.
Welcome to this site, sorry you needed to find it.
Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel