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#256468 - 10/20/08 09:27 AM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: sugarbaby]
M3 Offline

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
That's a really good sign sugarbaby! It sounds like he is reaching out for help... the first step...

Peace and love...


#256502 - 10/20/08 12:44 PM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: sugarbaby]
wes-b Offline

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

My prayers are for you partner to find healing and recovery and for you to find peace and serenity in your journey.

I hope that you find solace in our stories. I pray the same prayer for my wife as I do for you... I see her struggle with anger love frustration as she tries to reconcile the pain I have caused her and the desire to leave me with her desire to care for and support me through my healing and recovery.

I have struggled with many of the behaviours common to incest/CSA survivors. Compulsive sexual behaviours which included crossing gender boundries; my abusers were older male family members and this corrupted my image of my own sexuality and sexual preference; Only in the last couple of years have a come to realize that I am heterosexual and that my confusion was directly rooted in the abuse I was subjected to as an innocent child.

With Love, Wes

~~ I accept responsibility for the pain I have caused my wife by the destructive behaviours I have exhibited. Each day of healing and recovery reduces the risk of any of these behaviours recurring. I pray for the willingness to keep my eyes on my God's will and that he strengthen me to carry his will out. ~~

Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

#256604 - 10/20/08 10:07 PM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: wes-b]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 380
He seems very ready to go there. More so then I have ever seen him want help. Good! Go! Survive! Find you H, find YOU!

#257295 - 10/23/08 09:14 PM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: sugarbaby]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 380
Therapy day 1. It is going well so far for H. I can't help but think that this could have been done without the attempt.
In patient was a little tricky to find in a medical hospital based situation, plus with the insurance, etc., etc. Non the less it is do-able and he had more therapy today then he's had in a month.
He asked me if I would go to a relationship session next week.....oh boy, only 1 session??!! As Wes-B saiys " anger frustration...pain...desire to leave....desire to care..." I'll go but we might need more than one.

#257297 - 10/23/08 09:17 PM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: sugarbaby]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
I'll go but we might need more than one.

You're probably absolutely right....but you can never get to 2 until you do 1! I'm glad things are moving forward.

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#258346 - 10/27/08 06:15 PM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: Trish4850]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 380
He seems to be doing well with the therapy. He sounded good today. Had a 'break through'..??...I don't know, he got some excellent advise though.
I don't have a sitter for the joint session tomorrow. I didn't want to go at first. I'm kind of bummed now though because she sounds like she has a good handle on what he needs.

#258449 - 10/28/08 01:20 AM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: sugarbaby]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Having been in his shoes...i the hospital for the suicidal attempt, I can say break-throughs can and DO happen. I suggest he write them down so that they are not lost or blurred when he checks out of the unit.

#258992 - 10/30/08 11:29 AM Re: He's afraid he's gay...... [Re: Still]
cstjude Offline

Registered: 09/04/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada

You may want to read the information in the new discussion thread in the F & F forum labelled " Straight Guise" -- new blog by Joe Kort ". It's outlining a new resource that may touch upon the homoerotic imprinting that some survivors re-enact as adults.

Be good to yourself.

Female, Friends & Family Forum Fan

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