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#25852 - 12/04/02 05:08 PM The Great Gatsby doesn't put cookies out for Santa Clause
Les_Angry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 195
I'm lucky to have a job that requires me to work most of the holidays now. After 5 yrs of Architectural school and 14 years in the field, I took a no stress job at Home Depot, its great so far. I almost took a job in a supermarket. My therapist thought that was a passive agressive attack on my elitist wife.

I hate having to feign happiness on Christmas morning opening presents. Its always such a preasure filled day for me. Invariably someone will say "whats wrong, don't you like your presents" or "cheer up" or "your bringing everyone down, stop pouting". Its disgusting watching my wife and brother in law opening up the approximately 40 presents each my mother in law spoils them with and I insist on only getting a few. I remember the first Christmas with my wife in 1990 when she opened up over $8,000 dollars worth of cloths. I know they cost that much because they left the price tags on. When I was growing up my dad didn't make much money and had 4 kids to support, so sometimes I only got a picture of my Christmas or birthday present and then my Mom would spend the rest of the day crying about it. Usualy I just go in another room when my wife's family comes over and read softwear books (that prevents any conversation about what I am reading).

Sometimes my wife will make some crack about what a charming host I am. I tell her I'm kind of like the great Gatsby when it comes to party's. My house is big so my wife invites up to thirty people over and I retreat to another part of the house and don't speak to any of them.

Sometimes if I'm pressured into conversation I will bring up something apocalyptic I read in a book or on the internet. I think I probably have the same effect on our parties as the guy that sits in the endzone at football games with the "John:3-16" sign when they go for a field goal or extra point. That guy isn't being appocalyptic though, but most people think he is.

The real meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ. I reflect on that as the others gorge at the trough of materialism and throw up and go back for seconds and thirds and forths and never get full. The fact that my neighbor said he was Santa Clause and was giving me a present when he pulled me into his tool shed and forced his penis into my mouth until I cried doesn't really affect me more on Christmas, because I never believed he was Santa Clause anyway. Sometimes I think of the "funny picture" that used to hang in my parents house that was taken by a man wearing a Santa Clause suit when I was kindergarten age because I am making a face latching my mouth shut because I didn't want "Santa Clause's present".

When everyone is uproariously happy on Thanksgiving or CHristmas, it reminds me of how miserable I am and I can't even fake it, even though I think my crisis is over. I try to remember the beatitudes: "happy are the poor in spirit, for thiers is the kingdom of heaven". This misery we all have is temporary, it wont last forever. That is the message of Christmas and the reason to rejoice on that day no matter how unhappy you are.

If some of you don't like me because I quote>

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#25853 - 12/04/02 08:32 PM Re: The Great Gatsby doesn't put cookies out for Santa Clause
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Les:

I empathize with so much of what you share about the holidays. My family was very poor & gifts were few & small. Just another reason this is not my season to be jolly, along with the fact that my family was very dysfunctional & the abuses were many & large.

Not to mention my distaste for people who are rich & like to show it off especially during Christmastime, my disgust with people who are not rich but try to act like it by outdoing each other for Christmas, & my disdain for the way materialism, commercialism & hedonism have overtaken Christmas, pushing to shove Christ out of it in the process.

Like you Les, I make no apology for saying things like this or for quoting the Bible. Why in the world should I? Whether people like it or not--and obviously a lot don't--the events that are Christmas are told of in the Bible. And they revolve around Jesus Christ, after Whom Christ-mas is named.

I respect everyone's right to believe--or not believe--in whoever or whatever they please. I expect the same. I would wish that people would respect that enuf not to keep trying to make Christmas something it is not. But I can't do much to stop them. At the same time they can't do much to stop me from speaking out & celebrating it for what it really is.

Just another way I feel like society, lots of people, have tried to silence me. Well it can't be done! (I guess ya'll have already noticed that huh?!) :p \:\)

Wow! OK, that's probably one reason I dislike this "holiday season", and one reason people dislike me around this season: it really gets me up on my soapbox!

Maybe its my way of defiantly crying out against all of the ways in which this time is so abusive & abuse related for me. Tho I don't remember, as you sadly do Les, any specific sexabuse incidents
over the holidays--lots of verbal, emotional & some physical abuse, yes--which isn't to say it didn't happen, & I strongly suspect it did.

Its just that while abuse memories have started coming back to me, often in vivid detail, those details rarely include the setting, at least in a way that would identify the season.

Les, you aren't the one faking it, as much as are many or most of those acting so happy. At least you're being honest with your feelings, which if I understand the one verse you quoted correctly is part of what it means to be poor in spirit.

"This misery we all have is temporary, it wont last forever. That is the message of Christmas and the reason to rejoice on that day no matter how unhappy you are."

Amen to that, Les! Rejoicing no matter how unhappy you are--profound words, those. Happiness is by (original) definition based on happenstance or happenings, outer circumstances we have little control over. But joy is something that happens within us in spite of & thru all circumstances, as a gift & fruit of the same Holy Spirit of God Who gave birth to Jesus Christ thru the Virgin Mary, for those who will receive it.

Happenstance (happiness) is by chance; to rejoice is a choice. Despite the horrible circumstances that surround this season for me, I'm attempting to make the choice to rejoice in this season. Glad you are to Les. I hope we all can.

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#25854 - 12/04/02 08:38 PM Re: The Great Gatsby doesn't put cookies out for Santa Clause
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Les-

I have never heard anyone complain about a man professing his faith here. Feel free to say what you need to and feel you want to say.

It is sad that you are in the midst of a lot of materialism. Apparently with your in-law, love is measured by the price tag.

You know the truth. I think that you love your wife. It seems that you can greet her relatives and friends by making a quick round of the room and then go to a safe and peaceful place for you.

I am sorry that it sounds like you wife is not tuned in to the pain you feel. It is hard for most folks to understnad. But, from reading the posts on this forum, it is clear that some wives and girl friends have come to a good understanding of the pain.

Peace to you brother.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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