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#256870 - 10/21/08 11:55 PM Re: reinstatement [Re: ak]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I must have made 100 wrong turns on the way here and slapped many people's faces more than twice. It took me lots of lost chances to find my way here. And it took the forgiveness and the caring support of lots of people to get where I'm at. So I am one of these people to overlook and forgive minor transgressions.

You guys know something? If this situation works out for the best it might make a better case for other's redemption. There isn't any way that Chris has a chance if we can't give him another chance. So what will it be: Kill Chris's chance and most likely everyone else's chance in hurt and anger, or do we try to work beyond our feelings in the hope that others may yet live?

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Though I am not a big believer in this author's work it is a good point in this case. So do we give him another chance or not?

I say that we turn the other cheek,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#256875 - 10/22/08 12:25 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: Trucker51]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6808
Loc: USA
Chris,

I am in favor of totally forgiving and reinstating you. We have all made mistakes. I have at times misrepresented myself. It's something built into our nature. When we hurt within and shrink with shame, we all have found cause to play hide and seek occasionaly.


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#256881 - 10/22/08 12:50 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: Trucker51]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
Read this earlier and it made me ill but now had to come back to say my piece. I guess I'm too much of HardAss on people....

This kind of stuff hurts because it's things like this that make it even harder for someone like me who really need some support for the things they are going through now. I don't understand how anybody could think that a story of what you're saying now wouldn't gain support on it's own without the lies.

I generally don't mesh with too many guys around my age and younger, so I'm kind of glad I kept my distance. You making up stuff makes the things I've tried to say about me sound false. I know it's hard enough for anyone to get what I say about my abuse then and now, this makes it that much harder on me. I'm already stuck feeling so misunderstood all the time and now here's the birth to even more second guessing on if I'm making crap up because of what you and others have done.

There's no such thing as online DID, I can't take away how premeditated this all was and then for you to come forward AFTER being caught... don't mean anything good to me. The term "mistake" is more and more becoming a meaningless word to me. I don't see where guys see courage in this, so far this has me in a world of extra hurt.

There's nothing I can applaud about your actions, we all have a lot to go through.... honesty should be enough here. This is coming from someone who's had his therapist and friends contacted at one point by moderator/board members on the site for legitimate reasons. I just feel used by you... and I didn't even have that much direct contact with you.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#256882 - 10/22/08 12:58 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: pufferfish]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2572
I wasn't going to respond... but I will...

Chris,

Even after the whole "situation" went down, I chatted with you. Knowing full well what the situation was, but I didn't hold anything against you. I did what I could even during that time to support you because I knew of others that were already angry and were writing you off.....

I came to MS, and quickly became trusting and opened myself and poured myself into recovery. The fallout of that "situation"? It completely derailed any/all progress for months and destroyed my ability to even trust those that I had felt were close friends here. People I had felt closer to than anyone else in my life.

Just last weekend I attended a Weekend of Recovery. I walked away from that with so much more than I could have possibly imagined!! I feel fantastic and confident and safe for the first time in my entire life.... then I come here tonight.....

You know what? Here's what I have written on a piece of yellow construction paper, courtesy of Howard: "I will hold on to connectedness and refuse to let anyone take my valid feelings away." I decided that no one is going to take away what I've gained. No one is going to push me back to that place that I was in. I connected to people this past weekend in ways that I never imagined possible. I felt safe and cared for and loved in a room filled with 27 other men and 7 facilitators. I tear up just thinking about it! It was a wonderful experience.

Yes Chris, your actions hurt me very deeply, but not just your actions, but the actions of the other as well. I was violated by someone I had chatted with and supported, and violated by someone I had trusted. I forgave the other, so would it be right or fair for me to refuse that to you? Not at all.

So please believe me when I say that I truly hope that you can find safety and support here. I hope that you can find the wonderful and fantastic things that I received last weekend.

I will not push you away, I will not ignore you, I will not hold anything against you. I forgive you, and I'll be doing some journaling tonight in order to sort out all the feelings I'm having right now and so that I can process and deal with the feelings that are trying to pull me back into old habits of isolation.

Heal the best you can my young friend.


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#256884 - 10/22/08 01:13 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: roadrunner]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
x, i just want to add, that i hope that when you enter chat and the forums, you do so with head held high, not downcast.none of us are perfect, and each one of us deserves at least one 'get out of jail free' card.

what a wonderful life you have ahead of you my young friend!!! staying honest will ensure it!

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#256890 - 10/22/08 01:35 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: Sans Logos]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Hey Chris I want you to know that I understand the reasons why you did what you did. I am glad to see you back, I believe you are now trying to be honest. I don't think poorly of you for what you did.

I think its important for us to remember the reasons we are here at MS. I came here to work on my recovery. This is the internet and we need to realize that there is a certain amount of risk when using a site like this. However I feel like the benefits of this site are worth the risk of coming across some one who is not honest with us.

Chris I wish you luck on your return to Male Survivor. If you would like to talk feel free to message me.

,Chris


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#256900 - 10/22/08 02:33 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: theatrekid]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
Re-pot,

I need to say some words to how this has affected me. I didn't really ever speak directly with you much. I have been deeply affected by this somewhat indirectly.

I can't help but think your lies, deceit and actions resulted in my losing one of my closest MS friends. However, I'm smart enough to know that I lost that close friend because of the actions of my close friend.

I always said that you were both 100% to blame, but my friend was responsible. Now I see that you were both 100% to blame, and both 100% responsible.

This disclosure is just vomit icing on the shit-cake that was baked in May and June. It always was a horrendous scenario no matter how you cut it.

Ugly.
~Brian

_________________________
I farted so huge, my ass exploded. There was poo everywhere and it got into the fan too. What a fucking mess.

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#256912 - 10/22/08 06:56 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: frost]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
Hey Chris, it's good to see you back. I'm sorry that you felt you had to lie about your age.

I guess I don't really know what to say. Welcome back, but please, no more lies.


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#256915 - 10/22/08 07:30 AM . [Re: Nyjah]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
.


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#256918 - 10/22/08 07:40 AM Re: reinstatement [Re: Paul1959]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I lost one of my best friends on here because of your lie and one of the few I trust. So forgive me if I am angry. [sarcasm] But Im sure glad YOU feel better and more relieved. [/sarcasm] I thought all "kids" were verified pre-post?

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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