I do not know about how others deal with HIV. But i feel isolated. The day that i found out that i was HIV+ i deleted my profile from a dating site for singles.
I changed my phone number so that none of the women that i had been exchanging messages with could call me. My blood is poisoned and is death. I cannot marry and have kids. Yeah the sperm can be washed to free it of HIV.I would have to be honest with the woman and tell her out right that i am HIV+, that would end it pretty quick.
I feel empty and i feel as if i have no identity. I do not want to date HIV+ women - be like a HIV+ only club. so what of the future? i do not have a future. My only companion in life is my intense hatred and anger.
I do give in sometimes to my emotions and hate myself for it. some happiness shines through the dark sky and their is a drop of a tear now and then, but this is quickly converted to hate, anger and aggression.
I feel so alone(so stupid!!!!!!!!) ................................. I am only crying on the inside...
Edited by duncanUK (06/23/08 03:26 PM)
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.