Niels,

You speak so eloquently about what happened and it's all reasoned out, the only problem is that when emotions are involved there is sometimes little to no reasoning. Your former g/f understood you and all you had told her for years, to the best of her ability, but she didn't live it, therefore complete understanding is impossible. I think it was Daisy that said if the incident you described was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, then I get it, but if not, then there is more at work here.

If a partner shows "weakness," it's a tremendous leap of faith. If the other partner sees that weakness as a fatal flaw then the whole relationship has been built on a falsehood. The strong one and the weak one come out in all of us sometimes and in a long time relationship, they change hands many times over the years. I could never be the strong one ALL of the time. I think we all need someone to hold us up every now and then.

I'm sorry for both of you.

ROCK ON.........Trish

BH,

Did your H have a problematic relationship with his mother? If so he may still be attempting to work out his "mother issues" with you as the surrogate. Add to that his SA difficulties and you have potential big problems.

I don't know if I've hit the target or am waaaayyyyyy off base, but just offering it up as a possibility.

Lots of love,

John