The site is amazing...I mm not alone....

I felt like a bonehead. In my first paragraph of my last post I said I had read a lot of "great" stories. The was the completely the wrong wording. So many people have so many horrific stories, the only thing I find great is that I am not alone anymore. Sorry just had to clarify...

I feel like my story continues but I am currently living some of the aftermath, so I am living it before I write it. The path led me to a much older emotionally abusive man that I finally broke away from this past summer. So before I go back and assess the damamge, I am just enjoying the "view" for a lack of better of image. Peace is here...

Here is the part of the story I need help with...
My perp is still out there. That kills me. He is still a teacher and a person in power over so many children. I know in my gut that he is still abusing. I dont want vengence, I just want to stop him, and I don't know how. I know it is delicate, that is why I would love some help with how to handle these emotions. Please understand that it is not anger, it is real concern...Let me tell you more...

He called about a year and half after I finally broke it off. He still called convinced we were friends. He called me at 2 a.m. in a panic. He told me the story. The story involved a boy thatI had met on one visit a couple years prior. The coach told me that he and this boy had become close. He began by saying that they talked alot about the boy's troubled home life(we always used that stick too, he was serving as a mentor for me who had a strained relationship with my father) so I began to catch on. Turns out that this boy's mom was an alcoholic who became verbally and sometimes physically abusive. To this point I hadn't been triggered. Then he went deeper. He said that he talked with the boy alot after football practice (hmmm just like me) and they would talk about the boy having sex with his girlfriend. He told me that the talk then progressed to man2man action(again, hmmm vaguely familiar). The boy divulged one evening that he thought he was bi-sexual. The coach took this opportunity to tell him all about mine and his "meaningful" relations. That is all I needed to hear. He had done it with this boy, I felt it in my gut. He was smart enough to cut off there, he needed to get to the real story. I felt as though he wouldn't say anything because he thought it might hurt me, like I was an "ex" or something.

He was frantic, I told me how the boy snapped and killed his mom with a kitchen knife. The boy was on the run and they couldn't find him.

They finally found him. He had gone to the neighboring town and hung himself at an uncle's house.

I was never told point blank by the coach that he had relations with that boy. I pray for that young man. I don't know if he was involved with the coach as I had been and if that had anything to do with his snap. The thought that it might have and I might have been able to stop it by saying something will haunt me.

The coach called another year and a half later. More chit chat but he continued to mention what he called his new "buddy",another high school student. I felt as though he was trying to send a signal, like he was saying "me and this new boy are just like us". I blocked it out.

Then before I moved to NYC a year and a half ago. He got my number and called. He was very happy, getting another graduate degree,he was head coach now and mybe athletic director if everyting worked out.

I was disgusted. I was trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship and being moved 2000 miles away from my family. He hadn't missed a step or suffered a bit. I hung up on him. I then went to myspace.com on a hunch. I searched the old email I made for him back in the day so we could communicate. The email brought his page. No picture but his age and the town he lived in. He only had two "friends" listed on his page. They were 2 14 year old girls. My hunch was right...

What do I do about this. I am progressing through my recovery, but the fact that he is still out there, preying on young teens really tears at me. I need some advice. Thank you...

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"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be, but for all I may become I close my eyes and jump..."