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#246636 - 08/26/08 03:57 PM "out of integrity"
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
I think this phrase best describes what it is like for "men who love men" making our way in a patriarchal cun*-ditoned world
& for those struggling with sexual identity/sexuality as a result of sexual abuse.
We act out of integrity, despite being out of our own integrity.

Ironic, that despite the parallels each "category" share there still is obvious animosity, shame throwing & division.
Cain & Abel live.

C

_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#246652 - 08/26/08 05:56 PM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: ineffable]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i all out of intergity, so i'm going down to the integrity store. if you want me to snag some for you while i'm there, how would like it?

in a box

a bag

a loaf

or just a slice.

they do sell it wholesale,

by the pound, the quart, the peck

and they have mini bite size for those sudden moments when you need an extra shot.

and let's not forget purse packs too.

what's your pleasure?

do tell!

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#248040 - 09/03/08 03:37 PM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: Sans Logos]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
Do they carry "sexual integrity"?
Because mine's been fucked with like everyone elses here.
Make mine intravenous.

C




_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#254299 - 10/10/08 11:03 PM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: ineffable]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
I think that in today’s society many people still see being ‘gay’ as a horrible affliction that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Taunts from the unenlightened still cause great fear in me, even walking the streets of the so called gay ghetto here is still a matter of life or death depending on who has come out for some fun!!! That attacking a fellow human being is seen as ‘fun’ is disturbing, that it still happens in the 21st century is just sad, and the fact that for some we deserve to be bashed for who we are is just downright scary. Is my own integrity compromised … most definitely, I am always being made to make choices based on my orientation for my own safety (and any number of other reasons).

The following I feel describes the common experience most gay men have growing up …

From - http://www.apatraumadivision.org/program/2007_trafficking/elder_paper.pdf

Many gay men experience "feeling different" or "like an outsider" within their childhood and adolescent peer groups and family (Braun-Harvey, 2003). A common coping mechanism to manage this outsider status is for gay men to develop a false-self/real-self continuum. The false
self is presented to peers and family to reduce risk of being perceived as not heterosexual
or conforming to traditional male gender role behavior. The real self is carefully
protected thoughts, emotions, and desires that remain private, secretive, or unconscious.
As a result, a gay man will often develop a gut feeling regarding where he presents
himself in an artificial manner (as a heterosexual man, or at least not as an "out" gay
man). If a gay male believes that presenting his real-self may threaten a significant
attachment, he may choose to preserve the attachment by presenting a false-self.


The lives of gay men and women is not helped though while those in a position to help still seek to deny gay men and women the same rights as those afforded to the heterosexual majority. There was great hope in Australia after the last election, the catch cry of ‘67 in 07’ was a testament to the 67 laws that needed to be changed to ensure that all discrimination based on sexual orientation was a thing of the past … alas we’re still waiting, change happens but oh so slowly sometimes.

I personally don’t use any term to describe myself, whether I am a “man who loves men” or a “gay man” or “just queer” or “a plain old homo” or a “sissy” or a “femme” or a “brute of a gay”matters not, I love **ck - end of story, I don’t see a need for any of us to define who we are in terms of sexual orientation, it is all just another way old str8y has twisted us around to think we need to define ourselves in ‘degrees of homosexuality’, in an effort to lessen the discrimination we feel from the heterosexual majority.
I have hopes that as each new generation ages that the hate that has always been a part of our society lessens, ok it’s a pipe dream, but I am after all the original romantic dreamer and still have high hopes for an equal life ahead for all my ‘gay’ brothers and sisters.

_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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#254305 - 10/10/08 11:14 PM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: arronb]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
I'm Mike, nice to meet ya Craig

_________________________
Thriving

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#254348 - 10/11/08 01:00 AM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: mogigo]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Quote:
We act out of integrity, despite being out of our own integrity.


Craig,

That is a really thought provoking statement. Especially when you thing about how this is opposed to those who are just acting out.

Thanks, I've got more thinking to do on this one...

Peace and love...

Michael


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#254355 - 10/11/08 01:10 AM Re: "out of integrity" [Re: M3]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Quote:
Many gay men experience "feeling different" or "like an outsider" within their childhood and adolescent peer groups and family

This is true, often because as children, we are presented with a social construct with which we can identify. We are presented with straight male and female models (in movies, literature, etc.) so all we know is we don't fit in. Now that we have more gay role models in movies and especially on TV (no matter how stereotypical they may be), more kids are finding it easier to understand that they are not alone, but they are beginning to come out earlier. It is not at all uncommon anymore for 12 and 13 year old boys to come out.

This isn't something that can change in one generation, but I think we can be happy for the upcoming generation that they can have more hope for living with less fear, less hatred, less discrimination, etc.

Peace, love and hope to all...

Michael


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