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#254186 - 10/10/08 04:36 PM What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Last year I had the ...pleasure? of speaking to all the registered sex offenders in my county. You may have seen this topic in the news forum.

Abusers hear victim's story

I'll be speaking to them again and one of the things we do is read them letters from survivors.

What would you say?

Please keep it clean though, and remember this could be very powerful and positive for you but it could be upsetting as well so please be aware of that.

I may have a chance to read a couple of these out loud at the meeting on Halloween. If I do, you will have had a voice and you will be heard.


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#254194 - 10/10/08 05:05 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
There is more than one kind of offender and what I would say would depend on what kind of offender I was talking to. Is it forty year old who forced himself on a two year old, or an twenty year old who committed statutory with a seventeen year old who initiated it.

I don't think it's a one size fits all issue.


_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#254202 - 10/10/08 05:35 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: blueshift]
MrEdd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 317
Loc: Texas
Originally Posted By: blueshift
There is more than one kind of offender and what I would say would depend on what kind of offender I was talking to. Is it forty year old who forced himself on a two year old, or an twenty year old who committed statutory with a seventeen year old who initiated it.

I don't think it's a one size fits all issue.


Good point.

Plus in some quarters Judges and legislators are watering down the sex offender rolls by putting prostitutes and drunk college kids who pee in the bushes on them. In my opinion very few of those Judges or legislators have any actual good intentions, and I suspect most of the Judges are predators who have sought a position of authority and insulation form consequences on the bench. I have thought this for a long time.

Maybe I am just afraid a lot?

So I guess it really does depend on the make up of the group.
The Men and woman who raped me and my sister all those years ago?

Sorry no ice cubes in hell for you.



Edited by MrEdd (10/10/08 05:36 PM)
_________________________
Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

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#254207 - 10/10/08 05:53 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: MrEdd]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
Most of the sex offenders you are talking to are probably pedophiles. Nothing I want to say about my hurt would make any sense to a pedophile. Very few of the "rapists" would probably even want to hear the male on male aftereffects from a man anyway.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding. If so correct me.....

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#254213 - 10/10/08 06:23 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Hey Curtis,

How long a letter do ya want??? 'Cause once I get started...

OK, seriously. Tell them this:

I am an eleven year old boy wearing the body of a fifty one year old man. I didn't grow into adulthood, my body aged but my ravaged spirit was not able to mature. Socially, I go through the motions of being that fifty one year old man and no one guesses at my truth - that I'm a fraud. I play the game well, but always at great cost - I never am able to connect with people and so, I am perpetually alone.

Only just these last six months or so, I've begun to be able to fall asleep without the light on...

Curtis? Do you think that any of those guys will care? Would any one of them cry, even just a little, for me?

I have to stop now, I can't see the keyboard through the tears.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#254220 - 10/10/08 07:35 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hi curtis, and thanks for the well-intentioned invitation.

how about "you did a really really bad thing....don't do that again, ever!"

seriously [not that my previous suggestion was anything less than serious] it would depend on the demeanor of those being 'preached at'.

are they incarcerated [as in 'captive audience']? or are they 'people' walking about freely, who will be present having been legally required to attend a court-ordered tongue-lashing session.

will they be receptive to the 'scolding'? are their consciences in tact? how 'rehabilitated' are they?

i don't mean to imply that there would be no positive consequences of speaking them, i just have a hard time conjuring up the image of who will be spoken to, and how open they will be to receive the message. i'd rather have a sense of who the target group is, and what their attitudes are, post abuse, having had time to think about their behaviors. so, they got caught; sux to be them. who are they today?

i would rather they had homework assigned to THEM, to be turned in to you, expressing their remorse for their acts, and then having you report it back to us.

i guess at this stage of the game, i am tired of writing letters and banging my head against walls.

i am at the point where i need to be the speakee, not the speaker.

now that, for me, would inspire oodles of confidence in this initiative.

whudder the chances of that?

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#254260 - 10/10/08 09:56 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Sans Logos]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
If you thought what you was doing was somehow 'right', you was wrong.

If you thought what you was doing was not damage to me, you was wrong.

If you thought that people knowing of what you did to me would turn people against me, you was wrong.

If you thought you was bigger or stronger then me, you was wrong.

If you thought you could permanently damage or 'break' me, you was wrong.

If you thought you could kill me, or ruin forever my life, you was wrong.

I live every day with what you did to me. I LIVE with it. I survived it then. I survive it now. I have a good life. I am successful. Most of times, I am happy. I took what you did to me, and I used it to become an even stronger, even more compassionate, even better person then I was to begin with. That is not thanks to you. That is in spite of you.

No matter how difficult or painful parts of my life have been, it could been worse. I could been you instead.

VN


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#254265 - 10/10/08 10:11 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Restorative justice gives us a window of light and hope, where they were none earlier, otherwise Retributive justice just recriminalizes the criminal, which is useless. I am glad, so much progress has been made in Restorative practices lately, otherwise we have been penalizing criminals, since the beginning of time, and still there seems no end to it all!

To restore the humanity of another, and to heal another, should be the aim of any human effort to enter the justice field, otherwise divine justice works very well, all right!

When you survive a holocaust, it remains our choice, what do we do with that experience, do we heal ourselves, or do we stay angry, and bitter? Do we create a museum out of it, or do we then create a place for others to heal; though there would really few who would be willing step out of their personal story and work towards of healing of the criminal as well. We do not heal, as a human race, as a civilization, until each one one of us, is.

For the real question to ask ourselves is, has this human experience made us more humane?

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#254283 - 10/10/08 10:42 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Morning Star]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
OK I'll clear up a few points.

Many abused children but they run the whole spectrum. It is not a one size fits all, that is correct, but we talk about all the issues and the pain they cause which seems to be a little more universal.

The judges in these cases are specially trained and only hear sexual assault cases. They are cutting edge and doing a great job.

Your hurt would make sense to many. This was evident last year when I told my story. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fooling myself here. There were guys falling asleep, there were guys that didn't think they belonged there, but this evening is a larger part of their group therapy and many are using the group and this night as a tool to help them not re-offend and if even only one hears the pain and that in turn saves even one child then the whole thing is worth it. Many did listen and they asked very important questions which they didn't have to ask and which helped them understand the long lasting effects of their actions.

I'm glad restorative justice was mentioned! we're starting that program in our county as well modeled after the one in San Francisco.

I'm also told my story, the questions I answered and the letters we read made a very big impression because the guys in the smaller groups still talk about them.

Here's the news report from last year. It will give you an idea of what the forum is like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFX6uRUSMC0


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#254284 - 10/10/08 10:42 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Morning Star]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
OK I'll clear up a few points.

Many abused children but they run the whole spectrum. It is not a one size fits all, that is correct, but we talk about all the issues and the pain they cause which seems to be a little more universal.

The judges in these cases are specially trained and only hear sexual assault cases. They are cutting edge and doing a great job.

Your hurt would make sense to many. This was evident last year when I told my story. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fooling myself here. There were guys falling asleep, there were guys that didn't think they belonged there, but this evening is a larger part of their group therapy and many are using the group and this night as a tool to help them not re-offend and if even only one hears the pain and that in turn saves even one child then the whole thing is worth it. Many did listen and they asked very important questions which they didn't have to ask and which helped them understand the long lasting effects of their actions.

I'm glad restorative justice was mentioned! we're starting that program in our county as well modeled after the one in San Francisco.

I'm also told my story, the questions I answered and the letters we read made a very big impression because the guys in the smaller groups still talk about them.

Here's the news report from last year. It will give you an idea of what the forum is like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFX6uRUSMC0


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#254304 - 10/10/08 11:11 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
thanks curtis that helps to create context for your original request. good luck with your initiative,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#254327 - 10/11/08 12:09 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
I am so shocked by the youtube vid that I can hardly breathe. Rehabilitate sex offenders??? Really? Isn't that an idea that has been tried before? And hasn't it been shown to be a startling failure? Has psychiatry not shown that sex offenders are incorrigable?

I've been at this recovery/reconstruction process for over twenty years now and I have compiled a mass of research studies from the most outlandish thearies to the very credible peer reviewed and accredited. One thing that is unanimous amongst these studies is that sex offenders of children are not capable of being rehabilitated!!! And, NO, there is no such thing here as a case by case basis. You take no chances!

I believe these men to be human beings on par with all of humanity and I know that what I'm about to say shocks many, but here goes - each sex offender, no matter how heinous his actions, is worthy of our compassion. No one just decides for the pure hell of it to become a monster. You are made, through life circumstances and your internalization of these, to turn out the way that you do.

Why was my seventeen year old rapist a homosexual paedophile? And why didn't I turn out just like him?

Yes these men are worthy of our compassion - but compassion is not an excuse for being a GD bleeding heart! Being a caring person does in no way make me a stupid person. Convicted sex offenders of children need to be incarcerated for perpetuity. That's how you make children safe from them - not by taking them off the streets for three hours on Halloween night! What about the other 364 nights in the year? Whose adressing that?

I' d better stop here before rant my way into a blackout




Edited by joelRT (10/11/08 06:37 AM)
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#254388 - 10/11/08 10:42 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: joelRT]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
OK Joel, I hear you, and I used to think how they should all just be locked up. No state has the money or space to do that. That's not going to happen and most of them are going to be on the street whether we want them there or not. Running them out of town or harassing them doesn't work because they will just go somewhere where they can't get any help, they will go underground, and they will re-offend.

Remember, first and foremost I'm a survivor and there was a time when I thought all offenders should simply be incarcerated forever and they deserved no treatment. However I slowly began to understand that this is not the answer.

The bottom line is we don't want any more folks hurt, and if treating sex offenders keeps folks safe then it's worth it. It's not that I believe in treating them becuase I care about them, it's becuase I care about keeping people like my children safe.

At our last international conference one of the researchers described the need for offender treatment very well using polio as an example. He explained how doctors were not satisfied to treat victims of polio as they occurred, but that the research and treatment of the cause needed to be carried out in order to eliminate it completely at the source. If there is no research or work going into getting sex offenders not to offend then we will always be treating victims. Wouldn't it be better to treat offenders if it meant there were less victims?

Probation does not just send these guys home for the rest of the year, and for the 364 other days Probation is visiting their homes and they come in for small group.

I had the privilege of working with Dutchess County which received a grant from the Department of Justice in 2004 to study sex offender management from the top down, figure out the gaps, and close them. One of eleven counties in the nation to receive this grant, the Dutchess County Sex Offender Management Project involved over 200 people from every agency that had anything to do with sex offenders from beginning to end, from investigation, through incarceration and supervision upon release. All from a victim centered approach. I served on the Victim Advocate Consultant Committee and the Community Outreach Committee.

For the first time ever, departments all over the county started to collaborate on ways to improve sex offender management and soon judges were being trained, parole officers were speaking with probation officers, local community police departments too small to monitor offenders were getting the help they needed to keep track of offenders in their areas. Public defenders were working with prosecutors and victim service providers to find the best way to protect victims... Even sex offender treatment providers were involved to help everyone learn how they think.

And although my work was in Dutchess, I've learned enough about Westchester's work to know they too have their act together too.

In Dutchess there was an instance where one of the registered sex offenders was having urges but becuase he was comfortable working with his probation officer and becuase the officers on patrol were trained, he was comfortable enough to flag down a patrol car and explain he was a registered sex offender and he was having urges and needed help. The officer gave him a ride to the mental health unit where his therapist and probation officer were called in. No child was harmed. Should the officer have said, "sorry, can't help. You're on your own." and sent the guy away...

Part of our mission statement is about preventing and eliminating all forms of sexual abuse. That won't happen unless we work to stop sex offenders from offending. The offenders would love us if we got off their backs and stopped dogging them, then nobody would be watching and they can do what they want. I for one will not let that happen. I'm going to keep my kids as safe as I can.


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#254398 - 10/11/08 11:43 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Curtis,

First, thank you for taking on this daunting challenge. I know you will represent Male Survivor and all CSA victims with integrity and strength.

Second, thank you for posting this on the site. It seems that you've exposed one of the areas where I need much more work. After the thread here that had links to sites used by predators to communicate and share and your invitation for ideas on what to discuss with offenders, I've found myself a bit... speechless. (Okay guys, make all the jokes you want... LOL) Seriously. I can't imagine what I would say for fear of either boring them (I didn't give a damn about the child in the first place, why do you think I'd give a damn now...) or exciting them (yeah, I wanted the child to be compliant, silent and submissive, tell me more). I have no idea what you should say.

What ever you come up with, I think it would be interesting to the guys here to know. If you write a speech, PowerPoint, what ever, if it is something that someone other than yourself could read and understand, I think we might find it of interest here on the site.

Peace and love be with you Curtis, and thank you...

Michael


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#254400 - 10/11/08 11:56 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Utopia is alive and well and I couldn't be happier that your kids are going to be safe, Curtis, truly. However, ideas such as you propose won't make my kids any safer!

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#254407 - 10/11/08 12:23 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
There is nothing in my vocabulary that could
change a perps behaviour, so I would keep my
mouth shut.

A leopard will never change it's spots!

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#254427 - 10/11/08 02:11 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOUR A DEAD MAN

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#254431 - 10/11/08 02:30 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: OKIE MIKE]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
I'm with ron on this... I'd rather listen than speak
so I'd have questions rather than speeches or sermons

but I would definitely say "you are not a demon"
(contrary to some beliefs here)



_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#254438 - 10/11/08 02:55 PM . [Re: ineffable]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 06:28 PM)

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#254458 - 10/11/08 08:14 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: bardo213]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
Tell them this. Tell them exactly what is inside the quotation marks so they can understand. I edited what I would tell mine for your audience's benefit.

"I was hurt as a 20 year old adult male. 8 years later, I still see his face, hear his taunts, feel his penetrations, et cetera.

He was not alone. You have convinced people that this problem really doesn't exist somehow. They tormented me too. Just because you were a professional or a upstanding member of the community, you used that to say that you couldn't possibly have done that. Then you got those people to defend you somehow through your lies.

If it was up to me, you would be swinging by the neck until you are dead. However, somewhere along the line you convinced people that you are worth a second chance. You need to make the most of the chance that you don't deserve in my eyes. I don't get that chance to relive my life. I am trapped in the torment that you created for me. I survive with tools that you know nothing about.

My goal in life is to take your power back. To deny you the freedom to control me anymore. You have done so for 8 years and I will get it back someday."

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#254471 - 10/11/08 09:18 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: LN3(SS)]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
.



Edited by Niels (12/10/08 08:35 AM)
Edit Reason: privacy-trust issues-post deleted
_________________________
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#254497 - 10/11/08 10:55 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Niels]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
I remember being a very happy child. For the most part life was sunshine, bunnies, and rainbows. I loved people and was not afraid of them.

There came a day when all that ended abruptly. The sun no longer shown as brightly, the birds still sang but they no longer sang for me, and my young life was overshadowed with something I didn't understand. I only knew the happiness was gone and didn't understand why. That was the day that I was victimized by an individual who believed it his right to rip my innocence from me.

Do you have any idea what you did to that little boy? Do you care? I hope that you do because that, Sir, is the only way you'll ever find peace with yourself. You must care about the hurt you've caused. You must be truly sorry and willing to do whatever is required to make it right. Most importantly you must care enough to NEVER do it again.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#254498 - 10/11/08 11:08 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: LN3(SS)]
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I've actually spoken to the pervert that groomed and abused me (once he was trying to be clever before it went to court, 2nd time I cought him after we'd been to court)! The abuse took place way back in 1969! I put my complaint in to the police in October 2004, a Saturday night, 16th of October. They came to see me at home on 17th of October, a Sunday morning. They thought it would be a false address - it wasn't. They came to see me again shortly afterwards, because there were issues with 'child' safety'.

The bastard got off with a suspended sentence! Three complainants - multiple abuse & he was still at it!

Instead of going to the police/court, maybe I should have just said: ' you're dead'. Kids would have been safer!

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#254501 - 10/11/08 11:31 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: RICK57]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Why did you have to spread your weakness and pain on to an innocent little boy? That was your pain. Not his. Were you so weak that the only way you could feel some remote relief from your contempt for yourself by punishing someone who couldn't fight back?

I will not plead for you to stop or to care. You have already chosen to give up on life and yourself and there is nothing I can say or do to help you. You are riddled with cowardice, lies, and hatred and I have no sympathy for you and your problems. You are the only one that can change yourself. I hope you learn to love yourself and change your life. Other than that, you are not my problem. You are your own problem. You continue to do what your doing, someone you might not want to be your problem, will be your problem and eventually, hell will be your problem.

Take it religiously, or take figuratively speaking. It all means the same.

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#254508 - 10/12/08 12:20 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: endlessjourney]
Bewlayb1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 241
Loc: NYC
What could you say to the devil to make him sorry? No words would have an affect. I wish I could, instead, tell the whole world who he is, and watch him squirm. I think if everyone knew, he would put a gun to his head and pull the trigger. That is my fantasy.


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#254510 - 10/12/08 12:29 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Bewlayb1]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
I'd kick them in the groin and leave.


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#254511 - 10/12/08 12:46 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Nyjah]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
If there's internet and a projector, feel free to show them my two youtube videos. Its the only way I've been able to truly communicate what I experience. Otherwise...I've got nothing to say.

************Severe Trigger Warning***************

A Childhood Changed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1JROZascas

The Aftermath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SM8m98ol0PQ

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#254525 - 10/12/08 01:52 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Still]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
I wouldn't he is as good as dead to me.

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#254535 - 10/12/08 06:39 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well, Curtis, I'm relieved to see by the posts here that most no one is bying into the value of your rehabilitation programme. Maybe that is what you should be telling these guys, Curtis, that none of us believe in their ability or their sincerity to become safe people.

Let this be the gage of the success of such an inane idea, lets take a for instance, shall we? The guy is proven, beyond any doubt in anyone's mind to be 100% safe to be around children - all the experts and professionnals give him their stamp of approval. Do you call him up when you need a sitter for your kids, Curtis? Do you? I don't think so.

You know? After the tongue-lashing that you gave me, for a moment there you almost had me believing that I was the crazy one....Yes there are a lot of holes in my proposition as well and I'm all to well aware of that, many innocent men would find themselves behind bars for crimes that they could not prove that they did not commit and so on and so on - then there's the prohibitive cost of housing so many sex offenders for perpertuity + you have the bleeding hearts on one side of the divide with their opinion and on the other, the lynch mob ready to kill anyone just so long as the state does it for them.... and I could go on. I believe you and I hold many of the same arguments but that we have arrived at divergent conclusions.

I wish you well with your presentation, Curtis, because I have to admit that you are a bigger man than me to even try this. If faith such as yours could be bottled....................



Edited by joelRT (10/12/08 07:09 AM)
_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#254561 - 10/12/08 09:31 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: joelRT]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I think my story & video said it all. The one difference with me was the cult involvement. My last perp was was the cult leader and a pedophile as well as a sex addict. After being incarcerated once he then got out and while on probation was caught taking pictures of children to MB to and was sent to jail until 2011. I really don't think I have much to say to him as he is hard wired where he does not give a crap about the damage he caused or has any remorse for it. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know the pain & suffering he caused me for 25 years. So after all that I can honestly say I would not say anything. He is not worthy of my attention on any level. I still have not come close to any compassion for this poor excuse of a person.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_ô¿ô_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#254668 - 10/12/08 06:25 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: GateKPR4]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
What I have to say to sexual offenders, I have say what I have needed to to one of them, and make sure another is taken by police, where he is now in prison for life. I am not sure what to say to abusers in general, because abuse situations is different, and abusers is different. I had four different abusers, all them was different, and if I was to speak to each them individual right now, I would speak to them in different way and different words.

Although I do think, lot of them are rather stupid. They think they are clever, in how they 'groom' their victims and set them up for abuse, and perhaps to a child, they is. But the majority of them are not so clever they think, because it is like, they think they can have power of us forever, and that is a rarer thing I think. Eventually, most survivors talk, and once we do, we usually talk a lot. Eventually, many survivors (I would hope most) survive the abuse situations and grow into stronger and better people by far then those who have abused us.

I am on speaking terms right now with one of my abusers, the 'main' one who set up the other abuses of me. He is a very sad, very scared, and somewhat pathetic man. He is greatly respected in his field, and knowledgeable, etc. But he live in constant fear of one of the children he abused coming forward and declaring him, what he done to them, he must live with that the rest of his life. He have actual made efforts to change, and make efforts to improve the lives of his victims how he can. But the absolution of his crimes will never happen in this life, and no matter how much he change, he will always have to live with that fear and uncertainty. I am constantly and continually recovering myself, mentally and physically and emotionally. It is within my power. Such recovery is not within his. The power is shifted, very much.

I am very capable of feeling better of who I am, myself, in this world without having to make threats or have hatred for this man, or any of the other 3 who harmed me. And that I am capable of that, it is part what seperate me from them. I am happy of that.

Andrei


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#254686 - 10/12/08 06:55 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: ak]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
What my rapists did to me in the sex ring is no better than killing someone. Raping in the Bible is considered the same as murder. I was murdered hundreds of times. If they execute a child rapist, I consider it too lenient. Write that in.


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#254748 - 10/12/08 09:47 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Marinan]
lungfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/08
Posts: 64
Loc: nowhere special nj
Sometimes I long for a less civilized time when the doors to that building would have been locked and it would have been burned with them in it. Tell them to look around the room and find the creepiest most depraved person they can. Tell them they are is same room as that person for the same reason. On Halloween I will be trick or treating with my niece and nephew. I am their hero, I know, they tell me. You are sitting in a room with the worst scum in your area. Tell them they should live in fear because if I catch them looking at mine or other kids, I will kill them. Not really a threat, just fact. I would have more second thoughts about swatting an insect. I would give up my life or freedom to save one child. One last thing. I get to be me, you have to be you.

_________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught. -Sir Winston Churchill

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#254809 - 10/13/08 06:40 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: lungfish]
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I am currently tidying up around the house and have found an old journal. Here are 2 comments that might have some relevance!

1/ It they want to have sex with kids, reverse the scenario and put them in prison with the tallest, heaviest, angriest, sexually frustrated, big dicked blokes they can find.

If they want to play with little boys, let them know what it feels like to be the little boy!
_________________________________________

They then might understand the following;

2/ Until you've been to the bottom of the pit, you don't know what darkness is!

You never want to go back there ever!!!!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#254980 - 10/13/08 07:44 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
After reading this thread I started thinking...maybe I could talk about what I would say to MY offenders and let others take what applies. Then I thought about my perps and their complete lack of giving a crap. What would I say to someone who didn't give a crap while he was hurting me and I was screaming and crying?

What could I say to make those people care that screaming and crying didn't say? I'm not saying that they can't be rehabilitated somehow, but trying to appeal to their compassionate side or trying to guilt them into behaving themselves seem like unfitting answers for the perps who abused me since they showed no sign of compassion or remorse when they were abusing me.

At the same time though, when I was nine I pulled a little girls pants down who was also screaming and crying. Where was MY compassion? I guess I had more than was shown me by my abusers, but maybe they were just emotional nine-year-olds.

I don't know what I would say to them though. I would only hope that they are capable of even some of the remorse for what they did as I have felt over what I did. I don't feel that labeling all sex offenders as monsters and locking them all up is the answer, nor do I feel that trying to make them feel guilty is the answer either. I guess I just have to confess that I'm just no where near smart enough to have any clue at all what the answer is.

OK. That's my intellectual answer. My emotional one is what Nyjah said. (Not to suggest that Nyjah is more emotional or less intellectual, but I resonated with what he said and totally understand the feeling.)

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#254981 - 10/13/08 07:48 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: blueshift]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I would say "Don't worry about what I have to say. Worry about what God has to say."

"Better for a man to have a millstone hung about his neck and be thrown into the deepest part of the ocean than to harm one of these little ones." - Jesus



Edited by Tinman (10/13/08 07:54 PM)
_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#257373 - 10/24/08 08:57 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Tinman]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Curtis,

I have often wondered what I would say in such a situation, and usually I am at a loss for words. I think Ste meant what he said rather differently, but I get it. I'm not sure I have the vocabulary. I once did this when I wrote a letter to the perp who hurt me when I was little, and I guess it worked to some extent. I wrote the letter and scattered the ashes over his grave, and that was an important step for me.

But if I had to do what you are doing now I think I would stress that it wasn't just the abuse. He condemned me to years of barren soulless existence lost in alcohol, drugs and acting out. The best way I could put it is actually not my creation, but a video sent to me by a teenager I worked with some years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwu7L38glcQ

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#257459 - 10/24/08 01:27 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: roadrunner]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
What would I say to a sex offender?

Hmm... that's a tough question, but I'll give it a whirl.

My answer would be as follows:

GO FUCK YOURSELF Mr. Sex Offender!

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#257950 - 10/25/08 10:52 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Stretch73]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
.



Edited by ttoon (11/16/08 11:01 AM)
_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#258423 - 10/27/08 09:36 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: ttoon]
Puzzled Offline


Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 18
Aloha GUYS With the help of my therapist I am doing that this week by letter to my older brother who raped me from 9 to 12 and finally at the age of 57 and have been in recovery for almost 2 years. I say to him the abuse took my ENTIRE LIFE, it wasn,t my fault it was yours and it took MY LIFE. Please keep me in your prayers as I do you ! THANKS


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#258435 - 10/27/08 10:31 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Puzzled]
NWcats Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/06
Posts: 70
Loc: Pacific Northwest
I just found this thread and thought I'd share an experience I had last week, or at least part of it.
For my job, I'm a newspaper reporter and cover crime. Last week I was assigned to cover the 20th anniversary of a sex offender treatment program at a nearby prison and went inside to hear from officials and five sex offenders.
All in all, I found them to be motivated and they were saying many of the right things - they can only make amends through change, their victims all are serving life sentences and they would never want to be released if they feared they may re-offend.
For the most part, I did my job, listened, asked questions and wrote a fine story.
The caveat: They were motivated by who knows what to speak, and a big part of me was very skeptical about how genuine they were.
The official line is that sex offenders who go through treatment are less likely to reoffend. That can only good.
But the little boy inside me had a different experience: He wanted out.
Why?
Because the sex offender who isn't in prison, who wasn't in the room is the sex offender who abused me, my older brother. He's never been charged and likely never will be.
That said, I also have never heard the kind of honest reproach from my abuser that I heard from the sex offenders who have been through treatment.
They talked about being honest about their offenses, not blaming others for what they did, and seeking real change.
My abuser still blames me, he's lied about the abuse and has done very little to seek real change.
Curtis, I'm proud of you for sharing your story in front of such a scary audience. I think this is a healthy conversation for me to read to be reminded of what my experience was in prison talking to these men.
It's all part of our journey.
And, to the men who may never change - including my abuser, my brother - I think one post put it best: What can you say to the devil to make him change?
The change is in myself, my ability to comfort and care for myself and others - and maybe, just maybe, prevent further perpetration of abuse.

Peace guys,
Jackson

_________________________
*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
Ask me about both!

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#259507 - 11/01/08 03:10 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Puzzled]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
Good for you Puzzled smile....keep up the good work


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#259805 - 11/02/08 11:05 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1213
Loc: Northern Ohio
I have a problem with the idea to reading letters to sex offenders about all the terrible harm they did.
Sex abuse is .... abuse. These "people" used force, our ignorance, & all manner of tricks to have sex with us.
But the base of sex abuse is abuse, & the base of abuse is having control over another.
Using/having the Power to control us sexually, financially, physically, & however else....is what it is all about.
To me, Telling a sex offender, "Hey, you messed up my whole life.", is giving them Power all over again.
I'd rather show them my success & laugh at them. Even if I'd have to lie.

_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

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#259827 - 11/03/08 12:50 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - triggers [Re: Curtis St. John]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
The truth. I am a forty six year old male with 13 3/4 years of recovery in AA. I was abused by a 15 year old male neighbour. Who my familily trusted. Although the abuse was short once or twice because my memory is just coming back or should I say I am just willing to have it come back. The abuse was one of the most hidden memory. I recalled in 14 years ago and is still not dealt with. I became a drug addict and alcoholic as a direct result from the abuse. I do not trust men or women. I have had no intimate relationships with any human being as a direct result of my short abuse. The abuse has caused me to never be myself. Never reveal myself to any human. I have a failed marriage. Have tons of failed relationships. Despite having the love of many very good woman I have never been able to feel worthy of any of it. Despite having spent tremendous time in the company of men through out my life I have felt seperate and not part of all social activity as a direct result of abuse of my trust to my abuser. Recently as a year ago, I lost the love my soul mate. I have waited my entire life to meet her and was unable to open up to her. Unable to tell her of the hurt I have carried on my soul. Despite knowing I could trust her. Despite knowing I was loved as I had never been before, my abuser took it away from me. Through my shame and guilt caused directly by a selfish self centered obese young man who was unable to relate to people his own age and deal with his own issues. The last time I remember being alive. Being Happy Joyous and Free was prior to my abuse. Everyone loved me. After the abuse I have been an actor. Pretending to be okay. Never experiencing being okay. Despite learnign to whistle in the dark. The dark was with me 24hrs7Days12monthsYear after year after year. The alcohol and drugs allow me to function. Years of AA meeting helped me to get through loving my children and raising them. You people. You abusers have taken my life. You have taken my precious life away from me. 36 years are gone. My children are effected. For 36 years I have had two common emotions. Anger and Lust. I am very fortunate to be alive. I could have very easily in the 36 years taken a life for someone having looked at me the wrong way. Maybe seen my pain. May be seen my shame. My guilt. Given to me as a gift for acts I did not and could not understand. Shamed into see what you made me do. I did nothing. I was silent. I have been put into silence of 36 years as a direct result of my abuser. Fuck You. I have been to jail three times for drinking and driving. Short stays but jail just the same. I've had a domestic assualt against the mother of my children. A mild one but none the less it caused me to be seperated from my children for a year as a direct result of my abuser. My two sons have both inherited a repressed anger and a need to medicate their feelings. I have been to jail. There is nothing the system could do to you that would come close to one day of the pain I have experienced being seperated from myself. Nothing. You should each be put in a room with 10 of me for 10 minutes. Forget the ten of me. Just one of me. Ten of you. That would be fair. You think Popeye had something in that can of spinach. I got a darkness that is hidden and built for 36 years. It is so dark even I don't want to look. It frightens me. So instead I am passive. I been doormats to you sick individual for 36 years. Thank you.

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#259828 - 11/03/08 12:56 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: blacken]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Wish I could've read this before I posted but It felt good anyways. I think they should be made to hear them repeatly. Go insane. Hear them all day long. Maybe the same story over and over. Like "Jack works all day and has no play" to me silence is power. This shit is as old as society. It is time everyone became aware.

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#259829 - 11/03/08 01:00 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: CorDav]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
CorDav,

Welcome to Male Survivor! I'm glad you found us!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#259834 - 11/03/08 02:20 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
It maybe a poor analogy but when I was growing up everyone drank and drove. If people had said drinking and driving has always gone on and always will. what would've happened? nothing. My children oldest two sons are now of age. Generally they have a certain respect for not drinking and driving. I did it all the time. to work from work. I have had to close one eye to see the road. They do not drink and drive. I see friends of friends confront one another wherther it is three beer or twelve. that is change. Change in the course of our lifetimes. A mere generation. Been going on since written history.
AA is but 70 years old. Is there change there?
I think the shame, silence and guilt of all of society collectively is the cause. WE are all on the forefront of a new change. the solution is in us. We survived. WE care. WE have been tramitized, sensitized to the issue. The solution is our collectiveness. Cause we care. Right now I would like to hang me high. Cause it is my pain. But when I got honest years ago and confronted the issue of taking a life for a life, doesn't make sense. Condemn for an act then do the same. Regular people the judges the lawyers the probation, the police care but we collectively know. They all want a safe enviroment they share with us. But we survived. We are all stuck in recovering rather than in the doing. We need to stop the silence get off our asses and intiate the beginning of the end of the silence. Take responsibility. In intiating programs to not allow the shame to continue well into our adulthood and steal entire lives. I'm pissed but action is the answer. Once I deal with the problem action will be the solution. Bill Wilson's solution to his alcoholism was a moving out towards others. Telling his story. No one got sober but he did. Eventually God, the universe what ever, joined in after he solidified his action by living with his pain of withdrawl, he moved out towards others again and 2 more alcoholics got sober. Recovery from abuse early should be first and foremost goal. Stopping the acts will come with our collective efforts.

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#259997 - 11/04/08 07:55 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: Curtis St. John]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.


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#260000 - 11/04/08 08:14 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
.



Edited by ttoon (11/16/08 10:18 AM)
_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#260049 - 11/04/08 12:54 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: ttoon]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.







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#260127 - 11/05/08 03:56 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
i love the letter thing. i have mine on facebook. when he accepted I immediately sent a text saying we need to talk.

no surprise no reply. I like your thinking. very adult. i've been making posting like "the bogey man is out of the closet and he is going back to where he belongs" and "I have survived" "David is recovering from 36 years of silence" some of my friends know what is going on. more will over time

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#260202 - 11/05/08 05:57 PM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: CorDav]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.





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#260244 - 11/06/08 01:02 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
what would i say, if i was there?
what can i tell them that they shouldn't already know?
how can words describe?
they can't

i would like to sit up on the stage, and they will all have to be ordered to sit and shut up, and they would sit and shut up, and i would just sit there, cross-legged, looking at them, for about an hour or so, and they cant talk, or do anything, and maybe then i will think of something to say to them, maybe i wont, i will look in their eyes, i know they are human already, and i know they have names, but i am not looking for that, am i looking for reason? for shame? guilt? remorse? no, none of those, there is no justifiable reason, and any shame, guilt or remorse they have does no justice anywhere, i'm just looking at them, so that they can look at themselves, for them to understand that they lost part of themselves when they did something so awful that they knew was wrong, so that they can see that i have more in my eyes than they will ever have again.

if i don't think of anything to say, i would just stand up, turn all the lights off, and walk away, and still they wouldn't be allowed to say anything, or do anything, they would just have to sit there, forever, in a trance, forever, and if they decide to move anyway, if they decide to talk anyway, then i will know for sure, that i was right not to talk to them at all. And i will hope that when they go home they will take a part of that darkness, and that they will never be able to sleep again with the darkness in their minds, and that they will never forget.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#260251 - 11/06/08 02:55 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Love ya. I have my abuser on face book. he had sent my class pictures grade 1-4 to my brother. Trigger everything. I face booked the name immediately. messaged we need to talk. No reply. I down loaded the pictures of local police stations and posted them on face book. then I joined as a fan of every 70's show I could. 36 years of silence is enough. funny was he loaded a pictue of ex wife and family. tonite. one picture. I saw it. I laughed. I verbalized. I forgive you ***** out loud to myself. I am a compasionate caring human being. tonite i looked in my area on gov't site for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Nothing. Time to start screaming till someone listen's and things change. again love ya. A few prayers over the fri to sun would help. I am going to face my demons head on this weekend. love ya

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#260255 - 11/06/08 07:11 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: CorDav]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK


Have PM'd you some helpline details mate

_________________________
www.amsosa.com

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#260256 - 11/06/08 07:15 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: CorDav]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.



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#260257 - 11/06/08 07:18 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: king tut]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
.


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#260263 - 11/06/08 07:56 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
.



Edited by ttoon (11/16/08 10:13 AM)
_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#260266 - 11/06/08 08:40 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: ttoon]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
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#260390 - 11/07/08 02:53 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: steveb121]
CorDav Offline


Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Ontario, Canada
You mean straight up their names were ever possible. their shame not mine. the abuser from my abuser. this victim shit runs deep. My dad was physically abusive and mentally but as far as i remember now not sexual. I've three siiblings of which I recieved the brunt of it. My sister told me the other day it was always because I deserved it though. I caught it immediately. and she said oh ya of course no one deserves to be hit dragged thrown punched. Use to like hitting right on top of the head. Left no marks. Smart devious actually. I think I will follow thru with the dump on his grave. apparently you can be angry and love someone at the same time. I am wondering right now if I will have both or just one.lol. that just came back now. Top of head feels funny too. Like it did after his knuckles had thumped it a few times. fuck this is too much. breath. I don;t remember a lot of it now. I am sure it will come back though.

the abuser was an obnixous obese 15 year old neighbour when i was 9 or 10 so far. the abuser hit me over the head with a boulder the next day after the abuse. as I attempted to keep him off my property by throwing small stones and rocks at him. knocked me out and 10 stitches.

_________________________
"you can be a character and still not have any" the fox Pulp Fiction
Rule 62: Quit taking yourself so serious.
Pinky "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world."

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#260391 - 11/07/08 05:05 AM Re: What would you say to a sex offender? - trigge [Re: CorDav]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK
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