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#253815 - 10/09/08 03:00 AM monsters in the cloest
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level
not very dark but my trigger

the monsters in my closet
they scare me
they make me cry
they make life not worth living
they make my world seem in a hais

the monsters in my closet
they make me think that im dirt
they make me think that im not of value
they make me hurt the people i love
they make me want to die

the monsters in my closet
aren't real
can't get me
will never touch me again
are only memories

why can't i make the monsters go away
why are they still there
why do they still scare me
why do they still make me cry

_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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#253826 - 10/09/08 05:08 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: feelingafraid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Toby,

Monsters in the closet - I sure do remember that, but until now I never connected it in any way with abuse issues. I could never sleep at night if the closet door was the slightest bit open. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#253868 - 10/09/08 11:26 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: roadrunner]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Toby,

Larry is right, that connection between the monsters (mine was under my bed - my bed was already moved into the closet) is powerful. Never thought of that.

But something occurred to me, my monster wouldn't go away until I stopped believing what they said. Once I understood that their words, their messages were all lies, they lost their power and their interest in trying to hurt me, so they went away...

Thank you Toby. Peace and much love...

Michael


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#253872 - 10/09/08 11:49 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: M3]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
those monsters still hount me...that moster had a face...all of them...but we can fight them and beat them, we can tell them No MORE... you can't harm me now, because you are no mosnter anymore..you are just a shadow...and shadows don't bite....


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#477943 - 02/26/15 01:21 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: feelingafraid]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 4257
Loc: O Kanada
this is no joke.

i actually had a monster in my closet.
i woke up from a nightmare, and he was standing over my bed.
when i screamed, my mother called, and the monster ran into the closet and hid just before she came into my room.

i made her go and check before i would believe it was empty.
then i was worried that there was some sort of interdimensional portal in the closet that would allow him to return when she left, so i refused to sleep alone in my room for a while.

i was somewhere about 10 or 11, so i was already too old for this stuff, and i knew it, but the nightmare inside a nightmare was too real to ignore. it was like... i know this is not real, but just in case it is... i should be careful and take some precautions.

nightmares were a big problem for decades, but i have not had a bad dream for at least five years. even then, i can't recall the one i had before that. i have been free from fear fantasies for about twenty years or so. they were so frequent in the past, i simply accepted them, and learned to fight back during the attacks. my nightmares were full colour three dimensional full immersion interactive horror movies. i would wake up soaked in sweat, screaming. i can't say that i enjoyed them, but i sure enjoyed the intense relief i would experience every time i woke up and realized i was warm and safe. i would lay there and savour that sense of security for as long as i could before drifting off to sleep again, often returning to the same scene of terror i had just escaped. i am glad the monsters are gone. so is my wife.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#477953 - 02/26/15 03:59 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: feelingafraid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3645
Loc: somewhere in Africa
this reminds me of one of my old poems from a few years back:


Letting the Monsters Out

Standing there,
back pressed against the door,
pushing with all my strength,
trying to keep the monsters
in the dark, out of sight,
inside the closet.

I donít know
what they are,
or what they look like,
but Iím sure they must be
big, strong, ugly and scary,
dangerous and violent.

I have dreamed
of what they might have done,
what they still might do
if they get loose
and I canít take the chance,
canít let down my guard.

A moment -
of weakness? distraction?,
(itís hard to accomplish much chained to a door,)
I let my guard down for only a moment;
the door bumped open, out of control
and some of the darkness leaked out.

It slithered,
turned on me, and struck,
fangs locked in my heart,
a giant poison serpent,
filling me with fear,
plunging us into nightmare.

Once opened,
the portal would not slam shut,
despite my great efforts,
but kept bouncing back,
knocking me down again
with each monster freed.

Why fight it?
Iím tired.
Am I worth the effort
to keep up the battle?
Would it not be easier
just to give in?


Surprising -
Monsters exposed to light,
start to shrink slowly,
begin to wither, wilting
until the floor is littered with
empty skins of departed snakes.

And I learned
that these scars on my body and face
arenít from fighting monsters
after their release
but from struggling to keep them
hidden deep inside.

The closet
now stands open,
dirty, dark Ė but empty.
I could close the door
but I donít need to any more.
The monstersí escape has freed me, too.

Lee
08/10/12
_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho


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#477956 - 02/26/15 05:13 AM Re: monsters in the cloest [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 4257
Loc: O Kanada
WOW!

seems like we have all had a few monsters to conquer.

there were a few bullets in your poem, traveler, that hit my bullseye.

Originally Posted By: traveler
Monsters exposed to light,
start to shrink!

These scars on my body and face
arenít from fighting monsters
after their release
but from struggling to keep them
hidden deep inside.

The monstersí escape has freed me, too.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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