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#25384 - 08/05/05 06:05 PM Mike Lew Retreat Question
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Has anybody been on a retreat sponsered by Mike Lew (Author of Victims no longer)? I am supposed to be going to this years retreat at Kirkridge in PA. I am having a problem with the concept of sharing a room with a complete stranger. I have slept alone since the abuse stopped about 13 or so years ago. I haven't even slept in the same room with people I know let alone people I've just met. I contacted Kirkridge and they said they would try to get me a single room but no guarantees.

Also any info on the retreat would be helpful, just curious, if it is worth it or not. especially since I have been to a level I and Level II retreat from Male Survivor.

Jason

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#25385 - 08/05/05 06:10 PM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
Hello Jason,

Man are the retreats worth it? Heck yes they are worth it. I have found for my self I learned more about my self in my Weekend of Recovery then in the last couple of years. The great thing for me is that it helps me face my fears with the love and support of T's and other survivors. I would hit another Weekend of Recvoery if I could sneak away from work an all.

So I guess what I am trying to say Jason is yes they are totally worth it. As far as rooming requests get ahold of Howard he is the main contact for the Weekends.

Nathan


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#25386 - 08/05/05 08:47 PM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 470
Loc: UK
Hi Jason,

I did a retreat run by Mike Lew some weeks ago here in the UK, I hadnít done a retreat before. I donít think I would have been up to sharing a room, I hope you can get a single. The retreat was a great and rich experience for me, a lot of that was down to the other guys, but Mike absolutely gets what survivors need, he was excellent.
There was a timetable, but no pressure to do anything that didnít feel comfortable. The atmosphere felt pretty safe and more comfortable than I expected. I managed to get angry with one of the perpetrators for the first time, something I hadnít managed to do before. If you have any specific questions you are welcome to pm me.
Good luck with it, well worth doing in my experience.

Peter.


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#25387 - 08/05/05 09:43 PM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Nathan,
I'm not talking about the Male Survivor retreats, but retreats that are run by Mike Lew. Thanks for all the information.

Jason

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#25388 - 08/05/05 11:58 PM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Jason,
Quote:
I am having a problem with the concept of sharing a room with a complete stranger.
I haven't been to any weekend retreats, but I thank it is important to keep in mind that this stranger is also another survivor.
Hope you go and have a good time.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#25389 - 08/06/05 12:34 AM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Jason - I was on a retreat w/ Mike at Kirkridge last year and will probably see you there this year. I know other guys from MS will be there too! Last year I had a single...usually do. I don't know this year, though. I am probably much like you in the sharing room area. I know there are several single rooms available. Jan Lewis who is registrar is pretty accomodating with facilities. Anything especially you want to know?

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#25390 - 08/07/05 02:35 AM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Jason,

I went to two of Mike Lew's retreats about four and five years ago. I'm still trying to get him to do one on the west coast.

The thought of sharing a room with another person was very frightening to me too at the time but I did it. I still communicate with both of my roommates, one more than the other.

Even if you can't get a single room don't let that stop you from attending. Mike Lew's retreats are run differently from MS retreats but they are very powerful and rewarding. My attendance there was in the second year of starting therapy and it helped me immensely in getting down the road to accepting the past.

Take good care of yourself and I hope that it is rewarding for you too.

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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#25391 - 08/07/05 05:12 AM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Damn, everybody is describing the Mike Lew Retreats so favorably. Which of course makes it worse LOL. Now I can't just not go if I don't get a single room.

Hmm..theres a Days Inn 3 miles down the road? Nah, Mike would never go for it

I'm gonna contact Janet Lewis via email in the morning see if she came up with something.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#25392 - 08/07/05 08:47 AM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Jason, Last year at the MS retreat I had this roommate...remember I'm an old guy...anyway, I walked in and this guy was in his twenties, probably a body builder, dressed in sweats with one of those knit caps that guys where down over thier heads. There I stood, an old fat guy with my breathing machine in my hand thinking, "I don't think this is gonna work." God only knows what he was thinking. But what we looked like and our age difference had nothing to do with anything. We had one very important thing in common. He was one of the nicest guys in the world and I learned a lot from him. Also I learned a lot about books and covers and how not to judge one by the other. I hope he felt the same way. If you don't get that private room, chances are you're going to meet someone very interesting, kind, caring just like you are and also just as nervous as you are about what his roommate is going to be like. I have a really good friend who is going with me to my next retreat and we have decided not to room together just because we got so much from our roommates last year. We figure we already know us. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#25393 - 08/16/05 05:09 PM Re: Mike Lew Retreat Question
CFO Dave Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/14/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Millis MA
Jason,

I've alway loved your tag line by Switchfoot. Everytime I read one of your posts I have the song in my head for a while

I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to interact with you at Kirkridge. We all missed you at the closing meeting. Mike even specifically asked about you. I hope you got something from the weekend.

It was an increadible experience for me. I was scared of having a roommate too. The guy I roomed with was great and we both learned a lot from each other.

It was also wonderful to meet some of the guys from this board.

Bobby, I didn't see the breathing machine this weekend. I hope that means you're getting better.

Dave

_________________________
"We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more."
-Madame Swetchine

"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."
-Frederick Douglas

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