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#253465 - 10/07/08 07:48 PM This is just cute!
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
What is Butt Dust???

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust?' Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story . His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt..' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#253467 - 10/07/08 08:03 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: Trish4850]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
LOL Thanks!


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#253474 - 10/07/08 09:08 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: M3]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
i like the flea one and the child-proof cap best \:\) they made me laugh out loud

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#253482 - 10/07/08 10:01 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: Trish4850]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
You are the second person to make me laugh out loud today. I didn't think it was possible once, but twice? God must be smiling on me and I just don't know it.

Thanks Trish

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#253512 - 10/08/08 01:10 AM Re: This is just cute! [Re: joelRT]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Thanks for the smile!

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#253678 - 10/08/08 05:45 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: Brian]
NY Daisy Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 183
Thanks Trish I needed that today, they definitely made me smile. Hope things are well for you.

Warmly, NYDAISY


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#253689 - 10/08/08 06:35 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: NY Daisy]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Thanks Trish. I wish I could tell you how badly I needed a laugh today.

Mike

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My Story

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#253695 - 10/08/08 06:55 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: Trish4850]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Trish,

Originally Posted By: Trish4850
'What happened to the flea?'

So what was the answer? ????????

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#258745 - 10/29/08 08:58 AM Re: This is just cute! [Re: roadrunner]
MissMyra Offline


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 19
Loc: UK
I hope you don't mind me keeping this up... but it turns out children also write the funniest things... =)


“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.”

“Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.”

“Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.”

“Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: ‘Tee hee, Brutus.’”

“Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.”

“Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.”

“In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.”

“Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.”

“It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.”

“The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.”

“Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.”

“During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.”

“Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.”

“One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”

“Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.”

“Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. His mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.”

“Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.”

“Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.”

“Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.”

“The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.”

“The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.”

“Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.”

“The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick rapier, which did the work of a hundred men.”

“Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a natureist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.”

“The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in human history.”



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#258844 - 10/29/08 03:57 PM Re: This is just cute! [Re: MissMyra]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Hahahaha... I thoroughly enjoyed that, MsMyra!

Rich



Edited by Stretch73 (10/29/08 03:58 PM)
_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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