hello men:

the other day i saw that a man copied a journal entry to this board. i will do the same now.

"1pm it's tough to write. we are shaking. we told our sister that our mother emotionally incested us. she did not seem eager to discuss it. we both let the topic die. WOW, a typical response to an incest claim. yes, we believe it is. thanks God. please help us not be angry at our sister. she did nothing wrong. please help us not get ill. we drank almost 2 cups of prune juice right after the phone call. we made a note of what we told her on our calendar. please help us not get ill and constipted God. we did no wrong. we feel a desire to tell our sister again. please help us choose God. we surrender it to you. please calm us and relax us. we were shaking when we admitted it to her. it was hard for us to speak. we felt drained afterwards and do now. but, we feel grateful and energized. wow. thanks God. please help us do and be our best. dam. we want to tell her again. but, we fear it would turn into a fight. we suspect that she and mother are enmeshed. if so this would encourage her to not believe us we feel. WOW. this is heavy. we know our truth. what others do they are responsible for. DAM. had a flashback: an incident when we were unable to defend ourself to a bully. we did our best. thanks God. please help us let go of it. help us be kind and gentle with us and others. we did nothing wrong. thanks God. wow. that was a big admission to our sister. her response was typical we suspect as was ours. thanks God. please help us with pain."

that is all men. when i become too emotionally upset i often get badly constipated. this is why i drank the prune juice after the phone call. right now my stomach is churning. i hope i do not become ill.

i just remembered: i told my sister that i feared i might get ill by what i was about to admit to her but, that i needed to do so. hopefully i wont. that is all men. thanks for reading this and being there for me. sincerely,


bec

hello men:

i have an update. 1 hour after i placed the earlier post i did get ill with diarhea. i believe doctors call what i get irritable bowel syndrome. when i become too upset my belly starts churning and diarhea is the result.

i am over it now i am glad to say. it is funny. at times my nerves cause me to have bad constipation. at other times diarhea. go figure. but, i am glad i had the courage to admit the truth to my sister. hopefully it will be of some good to both of us. that is all men. sincerely,


bec

Hi Bec,

That sounds like a very difficult discussion. I am not surprised that you would have a reaction. I find trying to communicate with the siblings I see about anything to do with childhood very difficult. For me the anxiety is about not having them accept my reality.
Sounds like a positive if painful step.

Take care,

Rustam.

Bec,

You are doing important work for yourself in this.

That in itself is very hard for some of us, like me, to do.

It seems that you understand that the important part is that you have found the courage and the strength to speak openly to your sister about the incest.

Her reaction is not nearly as important as the fact that you were able to act so lovingly towards yourself.

Hope the stomach ailments calm down a bit. I have similar problems and know how troubling they can be.

Regards,

thanks rustam and danny:

i appreciate your kind words. i am feeling better. i must remember that having such a discussion with my sister in the future is a risky thing to do. getting ill is no fun. let's all take good care of ourselves. sincerely,


bec

bec, Sometimes I think I'm the "universal survivor" of SA, because every time someone writes something, I think...."Yeah, I've got that." Even I have begun to doubt me. That being said, however, I have irritable bowel syndrome. I think not as seriously as you do, but I can always tell I've been upset by which room I happen to be in about an hour later. Sometimes I don't even realize how upset I was until my body tells me about it. So....since we try to help each other out here.... This will sound crazy, but the thing that helped me the most was taking Metamucil (I take a cheap rip-off.) every night. I can't remember why I did it at first, but lo and behold it darn near cured me of the other. Sounds like reverse therapy to me, but it worked.

Also, along the lines of telling your siblings, I can't talk to my siblings about any of this because they simply can't believe it. I admire your courage. Maybe some day I'll have as much of it as you do. Thanks for sharing yours with me. Bobby

Bec,

your sister's reaction maybe is not uncommon. It maybe is from shock, from feeling guilt, from maybe having secrets of her own she does not want to share. None of that is reflection on you. It is a shame, but good for you, for having the courage to tell her at all.

I often get similar physical response to emotional things, but get sick and vomit. Have not had that for quite some time, but it often feels like it is right there, that nasty taste. So can relate to your 'gut' problems with stress. I hope that your body can find better ways of relating to things, just as our minds do.

leosha