I'm sorry to see you in such pain, but I'm glad you can talk about it. Doing that is the first step towards finding answers.
Are you sure your friends would turn and run if they knew? I felt the same way, but in almost every case my disclosure has been met with 100% support and understanding. I think most people will appreciate the idea that when a boy is abused it can't be his fault, and that the man who reveals his past is doing something that takes a lot of courage.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)