Newest Members
dspwilson, Won'tGiveUp, sillyputty, Pytbull, manipulated
12384 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
4gettingthepast4 (32), DougL (53), Jeff38 (48), lfp (27), pats121 (75), Texan (57), zer0sleep (35)
Who's Online
4 registered (help4aCSAspouse, manipulated, Shyshark, 1 invisible), 28 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12384 Members
74 Forums
63654 Topics
444544 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#252300 - 10/01/08 07:55 AM My sincere apologies...
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
I can't tell how you hard it is for me to admit this. I am terrified of the chat room! There, I said it. And no, I don't feel better now. As I'm typing this, I'm sitting here hyperventilating and chuckling at the same time.

Last night I inadvertantly clicked on the chat button (second time I've done that) and when someone was gracious enough to greet me (I don't know who because my eyes glazed over) I totally panicked - like I'd been caught at some great misdeed or something. All could I think was "Run boy, this is bad thing you've done." So, I bolted - said nothing to no one, just bolted.

Please accept my apologies (whoever you may be), I was not being rude or impolite and if I offended, I'm truly sorry.

I can't go on, I'm trembling so badly that I can't even type. For some reason I just want to cry...

Your fellow journeyman,
Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

Top
#252302 - 10/01/08 08:09 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: joelRT]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2436
Loc: TEXAS
Hi joe/RT
I had the same experience as you, first I'm a clod on computers, too old to figure out how to use them. Plus I am more comfortable on the public viewing pages. I don't care who reads them, I'm too old to be embarrased about what I want to say. Rest assured that I tremble and cry to myself while I'm on these pages. Those boys inside us need all the help that we can get, and this is where I feel most comfortable. Heal well my friend,
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


Top
#252303 - 10/01/08 08:21 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: petercorbett]
jnj Offline


Registered: 09/30/08
Posts: 27
Loc: UK
I think i understand how you feel joelrt. I know it will be a long time before I too am able to enter the chat rooms. I think for some of us it is easier to tell of your feelings, fears etc in these forums. I know having an actual conversation about my issues is a very scary thing and I can only really at the moment talk about them to the Mrs. However the forums are great and you can say what you feel and get them off your chest without entering a real time conversation.

This is only my 1st week here but what I have read and the responce to my own post has been amazing.

Everything takes time as I am finding out.

Cheers

JoelRT

and take care

_________________________
I started out with nothing and I still got most of it left.

Top
#252307 - 10/01/08 08:49 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: jnj]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Joel...

What's funny is I had just the opposite reaction. When I first came here, I could sit in the chat room and "listen" until I felt comfortable and then participate. The security for me was that there was really no obvious trace that I'd been here. Whereas the Discussion Boards are permanent posts of what you said and that freaked me out!!! LOL

Some day Joel, we'll have a chat. \:\) A private chat if you prefer. But don't push it! Enjoy your bubble of happiness!

Peace and love...

Michael


Top
#252311 - 10/01/08 09:04 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: joelRT]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Morning Joel:

Would it make any difference if you might already know some of the guys participating? I was in there for a bit last night but have to say didn't see you as you passed through. I miss some stuff because I am looking at the keyboard as I type, not like some of the others who can remain fixed on the screen and keep up a pretty coherent conversation.

I use the same screen name as here. I have found however that some guys I may already "know" use different monikers thereby making me think I don't "know" anyone one. In any event there was a good bunch of guys on there, even some our age! Old dogs can learn new tricks! You'll be more than welcome when the time is right, assuming I can see you. Time to tune up my bifoculs I think!

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

Top
#252325 - 10/01/08 10:22 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: Geeders]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Thanks guys,

No, it would make absolutly no difference whatever to know the guys already in the chat room. After I posted this morning, I walked to the grocery store because walking helps me think.

And here it is: When I post, I am safely behind my keyboard with all the luxury of time to compose what I choose to respond to someone else's post. I rarely post new topics of my own.

I have no difficulty talking about my past & it's details, most of it being understood and pretty much resolved. However, talking about me in the now with real people in real time? Sharing who I am as opposed to who I used to be? Discussing today's hardships as opposed to yesterday's pains? Oh crap, there just isn't a hole big enough for me to hide in!!!

I was supposed to me in my new group at 10AM yesterday and after going through the motions of getting signed up and the initial interview, filling out the forms and the lenthy questionnaire, where was I at 10AM yesterday morning? Yep, at home!

Oh, recovery - it is a process... so I guess I'll just keep processing on then...

Your fellow journeyman,
Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

Top
#252332 - 10/01/08 10:55 AM Re: My sincere apologies... [Re: joelRT]
lungfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/08
Posts: 64
Loc: nowhere special nj
Joel, I had a similar reaction as you. I had never been in a chat room before and it felt weird to me and I bolted. I feel better posting although even then I often wished I had composed my thoughts better right after i push submit. I have received tremendous help posting (you are one of those that have helped) so I figure I will take advantage of what works for me. Someday I may be able to do the chat room thing but right now its not for me. Thanks for the post. Pete

_________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught. -Sir Winston Churchill

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.