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#252412 - 10/01/08 04:55 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: Stephen_5]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
There is hope in recovery, but please don't expect an overwhelming support here.
Why?
Because, recovery can fall on stumbling blocks, like a child riding a bike, then falling off so many times, things can still come back and hurt you.

Others might think, yeah, I felt that in the past, and then things
just change for the worse.
You still need to look at what you have achieved, but don't expect a big response to where you are today.

Today, I just blame myself for everything, which is why I was born to do, and that is why I don't post so much.
Maybe right or wrong, but I never know.

Just go forward,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#252414 - 10/01/08 04:57 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: reality2k4]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
we al lblame ourselves at some point...its a sindrome...i been in that...i blame myslef..then I don't..then again..where will it end?


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#252426 - 10/01/08 06:10 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: sunwolf]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I blamed myself also, I don't anymore. 25 years in recovery is a long time. Yes I recently got out of therapy after 3 years and I am recovered for the most part. Sometimes things come back and I have learned how to face them and deal with it. I have my setbacks and my bad days. They are much different now than they were 3 years ago when I entered therapy. I still come here and share when I need to or maybe give someone else hope. Sometimes just to say hi. We all have our own experiences and we all deal with them in different ways. We can only share what we know and each one of has something to give and something to learn. Trauma is a real challenge to work through. I think that is something we can all agree on. As was said before take what you can leave the rest. It worked for me.
Ricky

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_ô¿ô_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#252431 - 10/01/08 06:40 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: Tinman]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
I've said this a few a times already and I'll repeat it here. I have been at this recovry/reconstruction process thingy for twenty + years. I am not, nor do I even consider that I might be an expert at it. That being said, I too have my success stories to tell, many things that I have tried only to discover that they have merit and do work. And yes, Paul, I do wish that I could share these things for the benefit of others - but I don't!

We are all of us at very different and often times difficult places on the way to personal recovery and I feel that it is important to be mindfull of that. For instince: I DO know that forgiveness is one of the major keys that unlocks the door to the freedom from the past that we all seek. To me that is indisputable.

However, for the guy who is still using his anger as a shield with which to protect himself from what he perceives as potential pain, the very suggestion of forgiveness can be what sets him back a pace or two - simply because in his right now, he's just not able to go there.

Am I helping him or hindering him by suggesting that if he truly wants to be well he needs to forgive JUST BECAUSE FORGIVENESS WORKED FOR ME?

I think a Forum for success stories is a grand idea. Each person is free to go there or not. For the rest of us, we could at least humbly express our gratitude for how far we have come all while stating how far we still have to go.

Do we take a poll?

Your fellow journeyman,
Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#252447 - 10/01/08 07:06 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: joelRT]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Guys,

I don't want to make any promises here but the topic of a "Success Stories" forum is being raised in the mod forum for some discussion. Stay tuned. In the meantime please continue this really great discussion.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#252448 - 10/01/08 07:07 PM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: joelRT]
Elad 12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
Joel,

I think I like what you said. By having a separate forum for success stories, that gives each of us the choice of whether we want to click into that forum at all or as you put it, the freedom to go there.
Thanks,
Dale


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#252529 - 10/02/08 04:12 AM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: Elad 12]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
I think a Success Forum is a great idea!

"Recovery Is Possible!" Wow! What a concept!! \:\)

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#252549 - 10/02/08 08:53 AM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: Stephen_5]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Paul,

If a guy is having a lot of trouble even getting started with his recovery it's sometimes very difficult for him to read or hear about others who are doing well. When he sees that he wonders why he too isn't making such progress.

That said, I hope you will continue talking about your progress. You achieved it, after all. Against the odds. And in what may well be the most difficult task a guy can confront in all his life. You did the hard work, bro. CLAIM your victory and success!

Others may feel awkward when they hear about your progress, but at the same time it may inspire them too. The first steps are the toughest, or at least that was my experience. By talking about your own triumph you may show others that at the end of the day they can do this too.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#252558 - 10/02/08 09:39 AM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: roadrunner]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Here's the bug of it for me. If not here, then where can I express and to whom can I express my successes where I will be heard and understood. I have friends who graciously listen to me when I need that. They listen, they don't hear.

I fully take your point, Larry, and I made much the same comment earlier which brings me back to the suggestion someone made that we have a seperate Forum for Success Stories. There is so much I have to share but don't for fear of destabilizing a fellow journeyman. But ya know, sometimes you just need to shout from the rooftops: "Holy Fuck man, I actually pulled such and such off, I never thought that I could succeed and just look at me now." to guys who get it!!!

Your fellow journeyman,
Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#252565 - 10/02/08 10:41 AM Re: Is recovery taboo here? [Re: joelRT]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
I know somewhere here Andrei had a thread going called something like "Here's the Good Stuff". Why don't the Mods raise it to the front of the Survivors forum and put a sticky on it so everyone has a place to post their good stuff? Get Nathan to do his techno-majik somehow to keep it ready accessible. At least until y'all finish debating the Success Stories Forum in voodoo land. LOL

Paul, to get to the heart of your question, you know that recovery is like rock climbimg. Climb up a little, slip and fall back, skin knees and elbows. But you are farther along than some. But that's why posts that may not make sense now do later and we can reply to them and bring them back to the front for discussion. So you do contribute. And recovery isn't taboo, just slow.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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